


How to Live

by WasabiMalec



Category: Passengers (2016), Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, As much fluff as I can squeeze in, Complete, Drama & Romance, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Engineer!Magnus, Engineer/Architect Magnus Bane, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Growing Old Together, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Passengers Movie, Romance, Smut, Some angst, Space AU, Strangers to Lovers, Writer Alec Lightwood, Writer!Alec, architect!magnus, in every universe, passengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-03-02 19:56:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 57,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13325385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WasabiMalec/pseuds/WasabiMalec
Summary: How to Live: A Passengers/Malec AU------Magnus Bane is one of 5000 passengers on the starship Avalon, an extravagant starship traveling to Homestead II from Earth. Encased in a pod in suspended animation, he and the other passengers chose to leave Earth behind to inhabit this new colony: a new land in a new galaxy, sprawling with life.After a malfunction onboard the ship, his pod wakes up much earlier than everyone else's, along with the pod of another passenger.In a situation neither of them planned to be in, Magnus meets Alec Lightwood. They live their life against all odds, traveling through space, far from the world they once knew. When disaster strikes, can they save the ship's passengers and themselves?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everylosttouch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everylosttouch/gifts).



> HELLO HELLO MALEC LOVERS
> 
> How are you doing in this hiatus?? I'm pretty much dying but I know we can all make it through. I hope you all had a wonderful new year and are ready to get some new Malec love in 2018. 
> 
> Since I have a gap in school, I have started this fic as a new project! It is a Malec AU again, based on the movie Passengers. I got the suggestion from the awesome [@losteverytouch ](https://losteverytouch.tumblr.com)and have gone with it since. I am loving putting our men in outer space, surrounded by each other and falling in love. 
> 
> I do not have a definite chapter count yet but as of now, its looking like 9 or 10. Thanks for joining me again and I loved to see all the support from Open Up. That story was such a joy to write and I loved hearing from all of you. 
> 
> xoxo Wasabi

**************

_"You don't know how to live. You just live."_

-Marty Rubin

**************

In the staggering expanse of dark and glimmering stars, the endless universe twinkles with its swirling mix of color and gentle movement. Far from Earth, space is undisturbed, the random comet occasionally throttling through.

Gliding across the darkness, the smooth silver edges of the starship Avalon careens through space. It makes its way to its distant destination on Homestead II, a new colony pristine and flowering with life, awaiting the presence of its new inhabitants who were on their journey there. Since that journey had significantly long to go, the bodies of 5000 humans remain hibernating in the quiet rooms of the Avalon, waiting for their new planet to come across the horizon.

Everything is silent. There isn’t a single organic sound inside these walls, apart from the oscillations and whirring of mechanical parts moving within from the ship’s body. These mechanical parts work tirelessly as the ship traverses the dark latitudes of space.

However, the smooth path of the Avalon is not impermeable to the strength of a powerful asteroid field, where a rough collision with a fiery mix of heat and rock collides with the starship. The systems on board beep loudly and takes several moments to automatically repair damages that could conflict with its journey. 

But it doesn’t all fall back into place. Some pieces of the ship’s sophisticated technology has been damaged and remain as such while the ship continues its journey. 

Deep down in the wires of the system controls, a spark sets of a shockwave of malfunction leading straight to the hibernation pod room, where 5000 future residents of Homestead II are induced in sleep, blissfully unaware of the collision and its aftermath. 

Wires circuit and systems fail, and with that, a switch flips.

A pod begins its dehibernation process.

**************

The haze cleared as Magnus felt the fuzzy cloud of his thoughts fade. His body was stiff, with the feel of weighing many tons and a hard surface pressing into his back. His eyes blinked open, slow and heavy, as he saw bright lights beginning to surface in his vision.

Once a semblance of consciousness grew and he became aware of his senses and surroundings, a holographic face appeared on a screen in front of him, and a woman with bright eyes and fiery red hair spoke gently. 

“Good morning, Magnus. My name is Clary, how are you feeling today?” The voice sounded so real to Magnus, despite the fact that it wasn’t a true person directly in front of him. He tried to answer back but his throat was thick from not speaking for so long. 

A roughness was present in his tone from the groggy nature of slumber as he mumbled, “Ughhhhh…where am I?” 

Clary’s voice chirped back in response, “You’re on the starship Avalon, Magnus. It’s perfectly normal to feel confused, you’ve been asleep for 120 years in hibernation. Take your time.” 

The smooth instructions by Clary seemed to calm some of his confusion as he felt his surrounding pod begin to move through the room, filled with pods just like his. 

With each passing second, oxygen entered his lungs and the energy around him fed into his system. He could feel his body slowly waking up from its rooted slumber. His eyes recognized blue and red lights scanning over his body, though it didn’t feel like anything at all.

Clary continued on, speaking in clear, concise sentences. “Health scan complete; you are perfectly healthy, Magnus. Your journey to the Homestead II colony is nearly complete. Our ship will arrive in 4 months to your new home. In the meantime, you will be able to enjoy the many beauties and wonders of the starship Avalon. You can enjoy yourself with our endless amenities, get to know other passengers, and learn skills essential for colony living. You will have a brand new and exciting life, Magnus.”

Despite how robotic the words were, Clary’s animatronic instructions put him at ease and he felt a peaceful tide wash over him. “That sounds utterly fantastic, my dear.” 

The pod that still encased him traveled silently down smooth, chrome hallways, where rows of doors passed by them. A tingling feeling came into his toes and he began to wonder if he’d even be able to stand up on his own. His pod turned into one of the doorways as the door slid open, leading him into his accommodation. The room has a double bed, closet, decent-sized window, and a small bathroom. The support under his feet lowers as he finally set his feet onto the ground and felt what it was like to stand after so long. His legs wavered a bit from weakness, but he evened himself out quickly. 

As he took in his room, Magnus regarded how it was smaller than he normally would have liked for himself but the astronomical costs of being part of this excursion were still a lot to ask, even with his substantial income. His eyes adjusted to the low lights that glowed around him as he heard Clary speak again. 

“Be sure to drink plenty of fluids to combat any of the post effects of being in hibernation. Enjoy your rest and welcome again to the starship Avalon, Magnus.” The now-empty pod that displayed her hologram whirred as it drove out of the room, the door shutting behind it and finally leaving Magnus alone with his own mind. 

He took a deep breath, the first true one in so long, and let it expand in his lungs as he started to feel more like himself. Memories of being in a lab, body and mind tested before falling into the deep sleep of hibernation, flitted around in his head as he sat down on his bed. Thank heavens, it’s at least quite comfortable. Maybe he should have reconsidered not bringing his own silk sheets with him…

The window by his bedside wasn’t too large, representative of the luxury of his accommodations, but it was big enough to reveal the dark sky, teeming with stars and celestial bodies that he couldn’t begin to identify. 

Magnus smiled slightly as the weight of this moment showered over him.

He was here. 

He was on the Avalon, gliding through space and nearly at his new home on a beautiful new planet. He could start completely anew there, design and build his dream home, live among the peacefulness of nature, and have something that life on Earth never gave him. 

The excitement that suddenly coursed through him nearly threatened his ability to sleep, but dizziness from being in hibernation knocked him a bit unsteady. He took this not-so-subtle hint from his body and crawled into his bed. 

The softness of his pillow encased him in a welcome feeling, much more agreeable than the hard surfaces of a hibernation pod. He felt his muscles sink into the bed as he cuddled himself up underneath the covers. His face was already free of makeup, so he had no qualms at all about letting sleep overtake him. 

Magnus was ready to experience his first full day on the Avalon tomorrow. To meet new passengers and prepare himself for the new life that was waiting for him. He’d been hurt time and time again by the people he’d known on Earth, and healed from his scars by the friends he cared for dearly.

Though those people he loved, like Catarina and Ragnor, were sad about his decision to take on this excursion, they understood his reasons behind it. 

If there was one person who needed this kind of change, who could handle such a dramatic shift in environment and life, it was Magnus Bane.

It was a new world he was ready for.

**************

“Good morning, passengers! Welcome to a beautiful day aboard the starship Avalon, the most luxurious and bountiful ship in the galaxy.”

The smooth, robotic voice filled Magnus’s bedroom as he groaned loudly, a bit annoyed with the intrusion. He didn’t really see the need for having to get up from his much needed sleep when the ship’s crew requested. However, the opportunity to get to know the ship dawned on Magnus as the best way to start his day.

After a shower, Magnus carefully picked out a pair of black jeans, a gray patterned shirt and a black jacket with some chains and jewels adorned on his shoulders. As he looked in the mirror, he was happy to see that the red streak in his black hair had survived his time in hibernation. He definitely needed to find some way to touch it up on the ship. Magnus ran some gel to style his hair in spikes and did not shy away from doing his makeup with a practiced precision. 

If this was his first full day on the ship, he definitely needed to look his best. Definitely better than all the people with exorbitant fortunes who could afford a Gold Star cabin.

Looking into the mirror, Magnus was pleased with the image staring back at him. A rather dashing man, if he did say so himself. After straightening his jacket one more time, he used the map in his room to help him find the meeting room for his first informational session about the ship. 

The hallways seemed empty of people, causing Magnus to think he had made himself late by prepping his appearance. Once he arrived in a sleek, silver room with rows of chairs, he sat down near the middle. 

That’s so strange, Magnus thought. How was he the only person here after he took so long getting ready? Where are all the other passengers? Maybe he ended up in the wrong meeting room. 

As he was about to get up, a hologram of a female crewmember appeared at the front of the room.

“Good morning, passengers. Welcome to a beautiful day on the starship Avalon, a Homestead company starship. My name is Lydia and I would like to welcome all the passengers of Group E, reserved for those with skills in engineering, architecture, and design.” 

While Lydia spoke, she gestured her arms out at the whole room as if it were filled with people, but Magnus was still the only one there. Magnus kept looking back at the door to see if anyone was entering but he remained alone. 

A quiet confusion began to creep up his neck, an inkling that made him try to inquire with the hologram, but Lydia continued speaking. 

“You are all incredibly lucky to be a part of this journey to Homestead II, a new colony waiting to be your new home. We started this voyage on Earth, the long-time jewel of civilization. But over many generations, it has become overpriced, overcrowded, and overrated. The members of this starship are the lucky few people that get to be the new citizens of a new colony, teeming with fresh life and atmosphere.” 

The antsy feeling inside Magnus wouldn’t simmer down as she spoke, so he interrupted. “Excuse me, Lydia dear, where are all the passengers?” 

Lydia seemed to process his words for a moment before replying, “We are all on the starship Avalon.” 

“No, I mean, why isn’t anyone else here?” 

Lydia’s holographic face may have twitched for a moment, but he couldn’t be sure. She answered, “There are 5000 passengers and 280 crew members on board.” 

Magnus grunted in frustration by the unhelpfulness in her answers. Seemingly unfazed by his anger, Lydia continued talking as if she was addressing a room filled with people. All of her words drifted pass Magnus without being processed as his concern about what was happening grew. 

Anxiety bubbled deep in his chest, threatening to rise. He ran out of the room and into an elevator that took him to the main concourse of the ship, the point of interconnection for all parts of the ship. Surely, there had to be someone there. 

The elevator door dinged open as he was faced with the grandeur of the main concourse area, a multi-story lobby with more silver walls. It was almost exactly what you would expect of an astronomically expensive starship such as this. 

But, there was one thing very clearly missing. 

People.

The whole concourse area was completely empty and silent, not a soul to be found anywhere. As Magnus carefully treaded around and kept his eyes peeled for any other possible person there, the anxious fear that he was previously trying to bury was now growing exponentially. 

What the hell was happening, where could everyone be? 

Magnus ran up and down hallways, looking into rooms, and yelling out to see if anyone would respond. After finding no one at the section marked Customer Services, he ran to an information robot and nearly screamed at it, “Who’s flying the ship?” 

The faceless screen spoke back to him in a perked-up voice, “The starship Avalon is flown by the captain and his flight crew of 14 members.” 

Dread kept creeping into Magnus’s mind as he got desperate to speak with someone. “I need to talk to the captain, where is he?” 

“The captain does not usually handle passenger probl— ”

“It’s an emergency! I need to talk to him now, where is he?” Any trace of composure still left in Magnus’s head dropped away quickly as he yelled back feverishly at the robot. 

“The captain is located on the bridge, at the north end of the ship. You can access the bridge through the hallway to your left.” 

The moment those words were in the air, Magnus sprinted down the hall towards the bridge and soon found himself faced with a massive steel door that looked utterly impermeable. There was a large locking mechanism in front of the door but Magnus attempted to scan his ID anyways. The door’s computer system stated that he did not have access. He scanned again and again, more overwrought each time he did, before banging his fist on the wall in burgeoning anger. 

A small window sat in the middle of the daunting steel of the door and Magnus peeked inside, seeing a couple rows of pods that seemed to belong to the crew, judging by the clothes they were wearing. Fear crept faster into Magnus’s mind as he felt the sweat born from nervousness all over his body, his heart hammering rapidly inside of him. 

How could this be happening? Why is no one awake? 

At a loss of where to look next, he saunters back to the grand concourse area and slows his step as he sees a room labelled as the Observatory. 

If he was more out of it after a few double martinis, he would have truly believed that the doorway brought him into open space. 

The room was filled to the brimmed with lifelike holograms of the universe; of stars, planets, and massive celestial bodies. It was all over the walls and ceiling. All the images were impeccably done that the reality of the journey he was taking hit him a bit harder. 

“What can I show you?” 

A deep, booming voice spoke out of nowhere, startling Magnus’s already anxious demeanor. As Magnus realized another of the ship’s many robots and holograms is speaking to him, he tries to get this new computerized presence to help him. 

“Hi….Mr. Talking voice of the Cosmos. I am a passenger and I really need to speak to the crew or someone from Earth.” Magnus babbles a bit but he’s been so flustered about his situation that it’s not a surprise to himself. 

The voice rumbles back, “I don’t understand. What can I show you?” 

A growl of frustration came out of Magnus roughly, as emotions mounted to new heights. Exasperated, he shouted, “What’s going on, where are we?! ” 

Without delay, two lifelike holographic planets appear in the air in front of him. One was surely Earth and one seemed to be Homestead II, if the pictures he’d seen for months were not lying to him. After that, a dotted path lit up between the two planets in the shape of a curve, showing the position of the Avalon along that line.

The voice in the room speaks again, “We are aboard the starship Avalon, en route from Earth to Homestead II.”

Magnus replied in fury, “And how long until we get there?”

“We will arrive in 90 years.” 

The feeling of something brutally cold washed over Magnus instantly from those words as his head clouded with confusion. Magnus felt the unrest inside of him translate into the trembling of his words. “What…what? T-that’s not possible, how can it b--”

A realization dawns on Magnus, one that is harrowing and strikes fear all through his limbs. His mind processed what he just learned and the terrifying truth that it revealed.

With wide eyes, Magnus’s voice was nothing more than a harsh whisper, debilitated by shock. 

“I woke up too soon.” 

His hands began to shake as he rubbed his fingers together with an itching frustration, his mind frantically trying to make sense of his reality. How could a ship so flawlessly made land in such a mess like this, and how the hell was he supposed to solve this? 

The idea of spending his life for 90 years on a ship, all by himself, rather than enjoying his sprawling new life on the open landscapes of Homestead II, filled him with a painful dread. 

Magnus ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he yelled back up to the room’s voice, “How can I send a message to Earth?” 

The voice replies smoothly, “Communication with Earth can be administered through the intergalactic communication service on the second floor.” 

Magnus sped out the room and up the stairs to a small room on the second floor that had a large computer with calling options on the screen. When another robot asked how he needed help, he spoke in a flurry and got his call directed to customer help at the Homestead Company.

The computer produced a video screen and the red recording light turned on as he was prompted to leave his message. A constant wave of fear kept crashing inside of him but Magnus took a deep breath so he could clearly speak to whoever would be on the other end. 

“Hi…My name is Magnus Bane. I am a passenger on the Avalon, and I’m supposed to be headed to Homestead II. Now, I don’t know how this happened, but I got up too soon. My pod must’ve broken and something went wrong and I have no clue how it did, but I really need someone’s help. There’s still 90 years left before we get ther—” 

Magnus’s voice choked for a moment as his words stopped, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He gathered his composure again quickly and then continued. “I need to get back to sleep, I need to be put back in my pod. I need help, please help me.” 

Magnus clicked on the button to send the video, with the computer replying to him, “Your message has been sent.” 

Just as Magnus was about to let himself relish in that good feeling, the computer spoke again, producing a map of the trajectory of the ship’s voyage. 

“Your message will arrive in 19 years. The earlier possible response is in 55 years.” 

Magnus’s heart sank deep into his body. Every dark cloud that had been impending on the shores of his mind came tumbling in. 

55 years. No one would know that he was awake on this ship, long before he was supposed to arrive, for 55 years. His head sank down into his hands, heavy as iron as his hands cradled himself, hopelessly uncertain of what to do next.

**************


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2: Magnus deals with his apparent fate aboard the Avalon, and it drives him to dark places, desperate for light.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: depression, anxiety, heavy emotions, drinking, suicide attempt. Magnus is really upset in this chapter, and understandably so. The feeling of dread he has about where he is can lead to some dark things.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves!
> 
> Happy Friday! Thank you so much for the response from the first chapter. I am very excited to keep going with this story so I'm trying to get as much of it out as possible in the next week. I am looking forward to the next two chapters quite a bit. 
> 
> This chapter is not necessarily the most uplifting but are crucial to understanding Magnus's state of mind in his situation. I put a Content Warning about what goes on in the chapter.
> 
> Issues of depression and feeling like you have no other choice are really important me and are things I have dealt with before. It is important to always remember that how you feel is valid and there is always a way to get help. Please reach out if you ever feel like this, people care and they will listen. And please check out the organization [ To Write Love on Her Arms ](https://twloha.com/find-help/local-resources/), who do an incredible job at bringing light to these issues.
> 
> Lots of love to you all xoxo

**************

Magnus felt so defeated, not to mention helpless about what his options were.

He was stuck on the starship Avalon, a staggering 90 years earlier than he was supposed to be awake. The pristine, new life of fresh faces and a fresh atmosphere withered away in the face of the dread that cursed him to live his life alone on this floating hunk of metal in the sky.

Magnus sighed deeply, his dramatic thoughts overwhelming even himself for a moment. Magnus walked slowly through the grand concourse, no destination in his mind. 

The silence was deafening. His steps were heavy as his feet carried himself across the floor. It was barely into the first day of being alone, and Magnus was already completely bored. This was going to be really rough. 

Just as he walked past the various empty rooms, each one more lavish in their decoration than the last, a glimpse at the room he just passed brought him to a grinding halt. 

His eyes had to be playing tricks on him at this point, right? 

Magnus backed up quickly and without a doubt, he was looking at an extravagant wooden bar with endless glass bottles. Most of the furniture was a burgundy red, a color that had always been one of his favorites. 

But that wasn’t what caught Magnus’s attention. 

It was the man with slicked back hair and a similar burgundy-colored suit, casually stood at the bar while he cleaned an empty glass.

Magnus felt his pulse quicken before subsiding in a wave of relief as he ran towards the bar. 

“Oh thank all the gods and angels and everything in between!” Magnus exclaimed, “I was terrified that I was the only one here.” 

The man chuckled lightly before his smooth reply, “What a silly thought. You are not alone, you are on the starship Avalon with 5000 passengers.” 

The practiced nature of the man’s words fed into Magnus’s weariness, but the man spoke again without hesitation. “Can I get you anything to drink, sir? We have every kind of alcohol you could dream up. You certainly seem like a whiskey man.” 

Magnus nodded slowly, wondering how that was possibly determined by just a glance…and if that was something to feel offended or impressed by.

Just then, Magnus heard a whirring sound as the bartender slid down to the other end of the bar. It was at that point that he saw, and any remnants of hope he had gained so quickly were diminished again. 

The metal rod at the bottom half of the bartender’s body, attached to wheels, explained it all: a robot bartender.

Magnus couldn’t have hid his frustration if he tried as he grumbled, “You’re just a robot.” 

The bartender zoomed swiftly back in front of Magnus, placing a small tumbler in front of him before screwing open an ornate bottle of whiskey. “Actually my friend, I’m an android. The name is Simon, pleasure.” 

Simon’s careful, mechanical hands tipped the bottle and filled his glass with the amber liquid. The warm hues of brown and gold captivated his vision for a single moment. 

Simon spoke again, making certain that he wasn’t left alone with his thoughts. “You seem like something is troubling you. What could be wrong aboard the incredible starship Avalon?” 

The incredulity of that statement pulled a rough chuckle out of Magnus as he took a long sip of his whiskey, savoring the warmth and slight bitterness. 

“Well, dearest Simon, in case you haven’t noticed, I am the only person awake on this ship. And I’m awake way too fucking early, so I’m probably going to live the rest of my life alone in space. So, I must say,” Magnus sighed as his breath filled his lungs, “not my favorite day.” 

Without hesitation, Magnus gulped down the rest of his glass, taking comfort in the gentle headiness the liquor was giving him. 

Simon failed to reply as he continued to look at him while cleaning a glass. A grunt of exasperation flew out of Magnus, “I woke up too early, my pod got messed up. Is there anything you can do to help me with that?” 

Unaffected by Magnus’s words, Simon smiled as he replied. “Don’t worry, Magnus. Hibernation pods are completely failsafe. There is not a chance that one could ever malfunction.” Simon set down the clean glass he held and picked up another. 

He seemed completely unaware of how Magnus was looking back at him, eyes bulging in disbelief. 

Straightening his shoulders for a moment, Magnus fired back, “Simon, you say that the hibernation pods can never fail. Correct?” 

“Absolutely, sir. The technology is perfected.” 

Magnus smirked as he replied, “Then how is it possible that I am sitting here in front of you, with 90 years left until we reach Homestead II?” 

Magnus focused carefully on Simon’s face as the computer inside him calculated his response. He’s not sure what he was expecting but a confirmation of Magnus’s argument came when he saw the robotics in Simon’s face twitch for a moment. His head jerked frantically for a second before restoring itself. 

Magnus’s eyes were smoldering, begging for a response as Simon looked right at him as he responded. “Well then. It’s not possible for you to be here, Magnus.” 

Magnus’s shoulders sagged to their lowest point, defeated by his lack of discovery. 

“Yet, here I am.” Magnus pushed the tumbler back in front of Simon, silently asking for another glass of whiskey, to which Simon happily obliged.

**************

Magnus buried himself in thought while he finished his second glass of whiskey. He racked his brain mercilessly, trying to see if there were any solutions out of this dreadful scenario.

He made his way back to the hibernation pod room, scouring through drawers and shelves to find any information he could use. He felt mildly triumphant at the discovery of the manual for hibernation pods. 

He was an engineer, and a damn good one at that. He could surely find a way to start his pod up again and put him back on the hibernation cycle he needed to be on.

There was no dawn and no day in space. He had no way of keeping track of how time was passing, or how long he was filing through the manual to find information. It seemed like an eternity. 

He took that book back to his room, read it carefully, and took tedious notes on what ways he could turn his pod back on. He also went back and forth between the hibernation room, examining his pod to connect any dots. 

It seemed as if the main generator for his pod had short circuited or lost connection with the main system that controlled their functions. If he could find a way to make that connection again, his pod could start back up. 

And if he was inside it when that happened, maybe it would induce his hibernation again. 

It had to. He had to make this work. 

After days had passed of mediocre meals that his Standard Cabin accommodation supplied him with, whiskey-fueled hours of chat with Simon, and relentless studying of the manual, Magnus was sure that he found solution. 

Whether it was foolproof or his desperation convincing him so, he was determined to try. He dressed in the hibernation clothes he had initially removed when he had been woken up and worked relentlessly at connecting all the necessary wires in the console next to his pod.

The quiet, seemingly dead pod suddenly came to life, whirring and lighting up. The shallow hope inside of Magnus lit ablaze at the sound. He was sure he had done it, and everything would be okay. He climbed back into the pod, pressed the final buttons he needed, and closed the clear doors that encased him inside. 

As Magnus laid himself back onto the pod with his eyes closed, he told his mind to be patient as the pod would bring him back into hibernation.

He waited and waited, lying wide awake. As he waited, he couldn’t focus on his calm anymore because he couldn’t breathe. 

No oxygen was feeding into his system and he felt short of breath, increasingly suffocated. His throat tightened as his body felt frozen, realizing that the pod was still broken and he was trapped. Acting on instinct, he smashed the glass door open again and gasped roughly for air. The unsteadiness of his escape knocked him onto the ground, his body limp as it adjusted to his temporary loss of air. 

Despite the small respite of being able to breathe again, Magnus’s dread returned. His tireless efforts to fix his pod were all for naught. It had to have been weeks that he spent figuring this out.

At first, his movements were slow, as he got up and left the room. He felt crushed again, at a loss for answers to help his situation. 

Once in the hallways of the ship, his steps quickened as another solution formed quickly in his mind. He rushed back to the room with the pods to grab whatever tools he could. He ended up with a torch, crowbar, and a few sturdier contenders. Piling them up in his hands, he made his way quickly to the captain’s bridge. 

If these tools alone wouldn’t help him beat down that impermeable door, his relentless determination would certainly be another ally. 

Once he reached the bridge and its daunting steel door, he started his attack with his tools to break it down. One tool at a time, he struck, burned, drilled, and pummeled the door. Anything he could do to make it to the other side and find a way to wake up one of the crew members. Or something, even he wasn’t too sure.

To Magnus, it felt like an eternity. An eternity of fighting with a massive metal door that probably weighed several tons and was protected by highly sophisticated locking mechanisms. But Magnus was relentless, unwavering in his battle to get through it. Even when his arms grew tired and they began to slide down in exhaustion, it took even longer for Magnus to truly determine it was a lost cause. 

He wouldn’t let himself sulk by the door for too long, in the midst of his own failure. Surely, it would just increase his depression. Magnus traipsed his body back to the bar and sat in the middle of it, right in front of Simon who was instantaneous in serving a drink to him. 

Magnus let himself resonate in the silence of his mind, while Simon just remained in the silence with him, waiting for Magnus to give him something to work with. 

He came on this ship to escape the pain he’d experienced on Earth, from all the love that had hurt him and all the parts of his life that threatened to break him. Ending up in this situation now…the universe was playing a cruel joke on his existence, it seemed. 

“I’m so irreparably screwed, Simon. And I know that I’m someone who embraces their life’s hyperbole, but this is not even an exaggeration.” The tone of his voice was monotonous and somber. 

“Oh come on, my friend. It’s a lovely day regardless, you shouldn’t spend it sulking.” 

These conversations with an android were really not helpful. While it was nice to have someone listen to your thoughts instead of internalizing them, the lack of emotion and ability to understand was frustrating. Magnus always felt it with every conversation he shared with Simon. 

And then there’s that other thing.

“Simon, honestly. Why are you always cleaning a glass? I am your only customer and the only one you’ve had for weeks.” 

Simon’s face twitched up into a soft smile at that, continuing his mindless movements with his hands. “Just a bit of bartender wisdom, Magnus. Apparently, people get nervous when a bartender isn’t doing something so it’s a way to help people relax.” 

Downing the last of his martini with a long gulp, Magnus set the glass down on the bar a bit roughly. He seemed to be more volatile lately, but understandable from his current situation. 

“Well my dear Simon, I think you need to share some more bartender wisdom with me. I’m desperate, lost in space, and the only person awake on a ship with 90 years still left in its journey.” 

Simon set down the clean glass, resting his hands on the bar as he leaned in a bit closer to Magnus. It seemed like he was taking a minute to respond, trying to see what Magnus really needed to hear. 

His voice was calm and comforting as he spoke again. “Listen, Magnus. You are not where you want to be right now. You feel like you’re meant to be somewhere else. But if you could snap your fingers right now and be where you wanted, I’m certain you would still feel alone.” He brought his hands together before speaking again. “It might be best to take a break from worrying about the things you can’t control and live a little in the place you currently are.” 

Magnus’s head hung low the whole time Simon spoke, letting the words permeate. They flew inside of his mind, light shining through the dark recesses that had been centered on doom for so long. 

This wasn’t a place to wallow in his self-pity, not like he used to do on Earth when he was heartbroken or sad. Yes, this situation was not ideal but he was on a luxury starship, far from the world he once knew. He would never have imagined his life transforming like this. 

While it wasn’t the sprawling lands of Homestead II, he was still on a luxury starship with all the amenities in the world at his fingertips. This was the most unexpected scenario he could imagine, he’d be a fool to not spend a little time enjoying it. He lifted his head, and it lifted with ease, as he looked back at his android voice of reason.

“Damn it, Simon. That was exactly the wisdom I was looking for.”

**************

Magnus knew this crowbar would come in handy again.

That thought ran through his mind as he wedged the metal tighter between the two doors. Using all the strength he could, Magnus pushed down until the force drove the sliding doors away from each other, opening the entrance to the largest suite in the Gold Class cabin. The ornate script of the words _“The Vienna Suite”_ above the entrance glimmered at him as he walked over the threshold. 

If he was going to be stuck on this ship, he would give himself the accommodation and luxury he knew he deserved. 

But even he wasn’t expecting the grandeur that greeted him. The suite was a spacious two stories, the size of a massive apartment really, with a living room filled with lavish furnishings. As he walked up the stairs, a bed that could probably fit 10 people and looked like absolute heaven was before him. The thought of sleeping peacefully in it made Magnus chuckle lightly to himself. To its right, a window expanded from floor to ceiling, clearly with holographic capabilities because it changed from a view of the stars outside to a snow mountain landscape. 

Without a moment of shame or hesitation, he jumped with glee onto the bed. 

After all the stress he’d endured his first month or so, the comforting feeling of jumping onto silken sheets and a pillow surely made of feathers was a welcome embrace. He let himself be happy, and forget all dread for a moment. 

Even if it was fleeting, it was worth it. 

That’s how he spent the following months: getting lost in the luxury offerings of the ship to forget the black hole of thoughts that reminded him of his reality. Days were spent watching movies in the plush leather seats of the theater, working out and playing holographic sports in the massive arena, and having many whiskey afternoons with Simon. While he was still suffering with the standard food that came with his accommodation, he had been able to reprogram one of the robots that came out at dinner to serve him sushi from the fancier food selections. It was a welcome reprise in a sea of bland food he’d been experiencing. 

Magnus would kill for some dragon fruit or an extra spicy curry or just _something_ to tantalize his taste buds a bit more. 

This behavior went on for months. He had a repetitive routine, filled with unconscious sleeps after consuming lots of alcohol. Magnus frequently found himself yelling at robots and holograms but then yearning for their presence so he wouldn’t be left alone with his own mind. 

Whether Magnus would admit it to himself or not, he was trying to hide from his reality. He was trying to hide from the feeling of fear taking him over again. It was so much easier for him to lose himself in a tumbler of whiskey than his own existential dread.

There was a point in those long months that he started to not care about his appearance as well. The presence of makeup on his tan skin faded, his outfits got sloppier, and the stubble on his face grew thicker. He clearly didn’t have anyone who he needed to impress or outshine, so what was the point? 

Soon enough, the anger came. It came like a harrowing storm that crashed onto the shores of his mind. It flooded his consciousness and consumed him. 

Why the fuck did this happen to him? Why did he have to suffer like this for the rest of his life? Sure, he wasn’t the most pure or innocent person in the world but he’s done plenty of good to deserve a better fate. 

These feelings stormed through him as he gallivanted around the hibernation pod room, wearing a silky navy robe and boxers, his bare feet dragging on the floor as he took swigs from a bottle of tequila. It poured through his bloodstream and made him feel fuzzy as he glanced around at the sleeping faces in their pods. The lucky people who would have things go exactly as planned and would live their new life on Homestead II. 

All these lucky bitches. Magnus couldn’t stop the frustrated scream that poured out of him as he through the nearly empty bottle across the room. 

His nerves were on fire, driven to their edge from being alone for so long. Magnus knew he was someone who thrived in the company of people. He needed people to love, people to care for, people to push him. 

Being alone for this long was a sick kind of fate for someone like him. 

Magnus’s vision cleared enough for him to notice a large black door in a far corner of the room, one he definitely had not seen. His curiosity overcame him and he walked towards it.

Inside, the room wasn’t very big and had another set of large doors at the far side of a small tunnel. Along the wall, there were about a dozen space suits.

A voice called out, “Welcome, Magnus. Please pay close attention to the following instructions before you proceed with your spacewalk. These suits are highly sophisticated and have all the best protections for the harsh environment of space.”

The voice continued on but the robotic instructions drowned out of Magnus’s consciousness as he immediately began to walk toward a suit and put it on. He had experienced every possible amenity aboard the ship so he needed something new to embrace. 

The astronaut suit was a bit bulky and had an unnatural, mechanized feel to it. Yet, it was still easy to figure out with the tips being spoken out to him. Once Magnus could see green lights blinking on the glass of his helmet, he took slow steps to maintain his steadiness as he moved towards the second set of doors. A robotic voice coming from the suit instructed him towards a large blue button to tether his suit, another panel to engage the magnetic boots, and then the large red button to open the doors to the galaxy outside. 

“Tether attached. Have a wonderful time, Magnus.” 

Magnus pushed the button and the airlock doors whirred open, greeting his eyes with the brightest blanket of stars he’d seen yet (and he had seen an exorbitant amount of stars in the past months). 

His body and mind froze. He felt so incredibly humbled. The endless expanse of the universe had a way of doing that to you. Magnus wistfully thought of all the arrogant people he had crossed paths with on Earth, and how they could use a serious dose of spacewalking to get some humility back. 

Magnus’s first few steps were hesitant, still eager but nervous about the enormity of what he was doing. But each step forward became a fragment more confident. 

The sky was stunning, and even that was an understatement. Billions of stars glimmered before him, standing on their own or parts of constellations he had no clue what to call. They careened around the dark sky with milky swirls of galaxy. No matter what direction he looked, there was more magnificence to see. It was that realization that gave Magnus the confidence to release his magnetic boots and truly experience it all. 

With a flip of a switch, he jumped off the ship and let himself float in the zero gravity. He felt like he was flying and embraced his weightlessness 

Light and dark drifted past his eyes. Everything looked like it was in reach, but also incredibly far away. Magnus felt so overwhelmed that he couldn’t tell if it was in a good or bad way. To think that he was having such an unbelievable experience, something that so many people on Earth would never get to have, but he was experiencing it alone. He was only here now after a series of terrible misfortune. 

How is it possible to feel so thrilled and so depressed at the same time? The conflict of emotions caused his throat to feel thick as he stared back at the stars, tears falling down his cheek, one by one. 

No matter how incredible the sights before him were, it still hurt. 

To be surrounded by so much beauty, so much incredible majesty of the universe, but still feel so alone.

**************

The airlock doors closed behind him as the same robotic voice greeted him with cheer. “Welcome back, Magnus.”

How strange to have so many robotic presences call you by name, almost making it feel like you had a personal relationship but it was all part of their programming.

Damn it, these thoughts would be the death of him. 

He trudged back into the main spacewalk room to remove his suit. The voice spoke up again as he started to head towards the door, “We hope you will join us again soon.”

Magnus’s feet stopped in their track. He slowly turned to face the pathway that led to the airlock doors, leading out to space. 

The thoughts flooded his mind in that moment. Those particular thoughts, the menacing ones he’s had many times in the past months. They would beat him down, reminding him of his miserable fate on this ship. 

Alone for the rest of his life.

Living among robots that had no emotional capacity or care for him, suffering with subpar food, and living inside a metal prison instead of the sprawling new world he was promised and emptied his bank account for. 

It was so unfair to him and it made him feel so incredibly low. All the amenities aboard the Avalon couldn’t help him escape those feelings of stagnation and emptiness. 

Magnus walked past the first threshold of doors and stood just in front of the airlock ones that had opened for his spacewalk not long ago. The thoughts in his head pushed him, lifting his hand just above the button that would release him into the darkness, where he could meet his end. The end to a disaster that never should have happened to him.

“Have a wonderful time, Magnus.” That same robotic voice spoke as his hand hovered, mere centimeters from pushing down on the red button. 

It could be so quick, especially without any oxygen. He would float among the cosmos forever, his soul resting among the stars. It alm0st sounded right. 

But something stopped Magnus right there. An alarm rang, a voice he didn’t fully recognize called out to him, the thoughts pushing him drained quickly. Fear struck threw his form and he turned around, running back through the doors that led into the ship and back into the main room. 

He had been so close, but he couldn’t do it. He didn’t know if that meant he was brave or a coward.

With his mind clouded and his feet frantically running for safety, he didn’t see the empty tequila bottle on the floor that he had thrown on the ground before. His foot skidded on top of it and it sent his body throttling forward. Magnus landed on the ground, the hardness bringing him back from the edge to reality. 

Magnus let himself embrace his position on the floor, steadying himself before he moved again. His foot ached a bit so he gave himself the time to recover a bit before pulling himself up to stand. 

As he straightened himself out, his eyes caught sight of something he could barely comprehend. 

Something so beautiful. Or rather, _someone_ so beautiful. More breathtaking than all the majestic stars he had just witnessed. 

Through the glass of one of the hibernation pods, Magnus saw an angel.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any idea who that angel might be? Oh yeah, you definitely do. 
> 
> COME SAY HI ON TUMBLR [ @lasttraintowherever ](http://lasttraintowherever.tumblr.com)  
> See you all soon ♥


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3: After a long pit of loneliness, a new presence awakens Magnus, driving him to a dangerous thought...
> 
>  
> 
> (Potential CW: lots of sad thoughts, more drinking)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my loves!! 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took a little bit longer to post but I wanted to make it flow the best way. It's a big turning point in the story so I really hope you enjoy it. I've already started the next one and that's a big one I'm looking forward to as well so I will power through!! 
> 
> Thank you so much for all the support, comments, kudos, and kind words. It is such a wonderful thing to see and really keeps me going. Writing is such a release, but it can be hard. But knowing that people are enjoying what I write makes it so much easier. 
> 
> Lots of love to you all and can't wait for our new SH trailer to come tomorrow!! 
> 
> xoxo Wasabi

**************

Magnus had come to two possible conclusions: either he hit his head so hard that he died and somehow made it to heaven, or the Homestead company brought a passenger on board specifically to taunt him with immeasurable beauty.

He walked toward the pod slowly, a pace that allowed his mind to get over the initial shock. His eyes blinked rapidly for a few seconds, completely captivated. 

Wow. 

After months of being alone and getting none of the human connection he yearned for, his mind seemed to lose its ability to function as he looked upon the man through the glass. His eyes moved frantically, taking in every inch of the man before him. 

Magnus gazed at him and his head swooned, taking in flawless, ivory skin and fluffed dark hair. And fuck, he was tall. He’s surprised they were even able to find a pod big enough for those legs. 

Magnus took in the lean muscle in his arms before he realized that he may be ogling a bit much. His inhales allowed him greater composure as his fingers tapped the screen next to the pod, waking it from its sleep mode to reveal more about his fellow passenger. 

A name popped up: Alexander Gideon Lightwood.

Hmmm, Alexander. Magnus definitely liked that. “Defender of men,” if he rememberd his Greek history well enough. Despite being quite an independent person, Magnus wistfully thought that he’d be happy to let that perfect body defend him. A smirk quickly rose at the thought. 

He tapped the screen again to bring up more information. This Alexander was a writer from New York, went to an excellent college, and apparently had some Pulitzer Prize-winning writer for a father. The name Lightwood sounded familiar among modern literary names but he definitely didn’t recognize it well enough. 

A wave of sympathy carried through him at the pressure that must put on someone. That must be a heavy crown that Alexander had to carry on his head.

Magnus tapped another button on the screen and a video popped up, showing Alexander sitting in a chair, looking at the camera for his passenger interview. 

Seeing his body move and his face come to life was intoxicating. Magnus wouldn’t dare to take his eyes away. 

The voice of the interviewer off-screen spoke, “Start with who you are and where you’re from.” 

Alexander ducked his head for a moment, some kind of nervous twitch that he quickly recovered from, before lifting it back up. 

“Hi, my name is Alec Lightwood, Passenger #4126. My full name is Alexander but no one, um, no one calls me that. I’m from New York, lived there my whole life. I really never imagined living somewhere else, so a shift to a brand new colony on a new planet,” he chuckled lightly to himself, “that’s probably the biggest change from New York City that I could have aimed for.” 

Hmmm, Alec. Magnus certainly preferred Alexander, but continued to listen intently.

The interviewer continued, “What made you come aboard this journey on the Avalon?” 

Magnus watched as a thoughtful furrow came about Alec’s brow as he pondered his answer. He took that question seriously, it seemed. A man that cared about the words that came out of his mouth was something he truly admired. 

“Looking for my next story, really. I think…we tell ourselves stories as a comfort. To imagine new ways of the world, things we normally may not be able to hear or see. That’s what made me gravitate towards being a writer in the first place.” Alec paused a bit, taking in a short breath before he kept talking. 

“Part of me, growing up, always found difficulty in ways of communicating. Whether I felt like I couldn’t do it or didn’t know how, writing was the one way I could talk to world. And see the world.” 

Magnus looked closely at the screen, mystified by every word coming off of Alec’s lips (and how lovely those lips seemed to be, full and lightly pink). His eyes glowed warmly as he spoke from his heart, and Magnus cursed the screen for making him unable to see what his eye color could be. 

“From your profile, we see that your father is Robert Lightwood, the Pulitzer Prize writer.” 

Half of Alec’s mouth ticked up in a smile at that. It was a shy one, one that revealed so much of his character in a single expression.

“Sounds like pressure, huh? Well, it was. Being the oldest child AND the one that followed in their parent’s successful footsteps? It-it…wasn’t easy.” He seemed to gather his drifting thoughts a bit to say more. “I mean, he’s great…at what he does. And he’s helped me so much through my writing, always pushing me to be better. I just don’t know if we want the same things, in how we present our work to the world.” 

Even through a video screen, Magnus could see Alec’s body tense up as he discussed his father, as well as the slightly distant look that glossed over his eyes. Anyone with working vision could detect the physical reaction at talking about this relationship. 

To be a young man, learning and living by your passion, your family putting all the expectations of the world on you instead of letting you blossom as who you are...

Magnus had always been a compassionate person, but his empathic connection with a man he hadn’t met was a feeling that reached new heights.

He was still transfixed by Alec as he spoke, discussing about how his father told him the key of having extraordinary stories was to not live an ordinary life with ordinary experiences. 

Alec continued, “There’s not much in our world more out of the ordinary than an adventure like this. It’s so new to me and I think that’s a really amazing thing…for people to learn about themselves through an experience like this.” 

As Alec smiled beautifully to himself, Magnus smiled too. It felt warm on his lips, almost foreign after the many months without something so genuine. 

Since he wasn’t particularly in love with kneeling on the hard floor, Magnus found a portable tablet next to the pod to take with him out of the hibernation room. 

He found Alec’s interview again in the passenger profiles and continued to watch him ramble on about the adventure he was going on, how his parents were happy about the exposure this would bring their family name but deep down, he did this for himself.

Magnus’s eyes were fixated as Alec continued to speak. “It sounds kind of selfish, I think. If I think about it too long, it seriously sounds bad. I have three younger siblings and leaving them behind is the worst. I had a life I was pretty happy with but…something was missing. Something big. Some kind of fulfillment, the kind that was a powerful force in someone’s life. My parents can live the rest of their lives thinking I did this for them, but this is for me. I think I’ll slowly become more okay with that.” 

As he watched Alec’s lips move and the calm, direct nature in how he thoughtfully chose his words, Magnus was enamored. 

What a beautiful, intriguing, complex man.

After nearly a year of being alone, a prisoner of his own volatile thoughts, Magnus had a new peace. 

A constant that made him feel alive again.

**************

Magnus woke up after one of the more restful sleeps he’d had recently. After gathering his breakfast and walking past the table he normally sat at, he made his way to the hibernation room and sat next to Alec’s pod. He set his coffee and food down before settling in the chair he brought with him.

“Good morning, Alexander.” Magnus spoke in a calm voice, already feeling a new presence among him. He turned on Alec’s interview on his tablet to pick up where he left off as he ate his breakfast.

Alec’s handsome face popped up on the small screen, making Magnus’s heart beat faster immediately at the sight. The soothing sound of his voice blessed his ears, washing over him as powerfully as it did the day before. 

His face was lit up as he responded to the interviewer’s question about what this experience meant to him. “We are starting over in every single way imaginable, and that’s pretty unbelievable. In ways that no human has been able to do. I mean, except the people from Homestead I. But still, we’re doing things that so few humans have done. It’s really thrilling.”

Magnus ate at a slow pace, his focus somewhere far more exciting than his boring breakfast food. He knew that so many people on this ship probably went searching for some form of new adventure or a way to restart their life. 

Just like him. His minded drifted momentarily as he thought about his own path that led him aboard the Avalon. 

Magnus wanted to be in a completely new world, where he knew no one and he could truly start from scratch. He had people he loved on Earth, thinking fondly about Catarina, Ragnor, and other dear friends. Those people would be painful to be without, but a drastic change like this was something he needed. After the heartbreak he had frequently suffered through his life, he reached his lowest breaking point after Camille. 

He had so many men and so many women he loved through his life, all of different degrees and for different stretches of his life. But no one tore down his walls, and then tore him apart, like Camille. 

Magnus was so desperate for renewal after all that pain. He was brought out of his somber thoughts with Alec’s voice again, clearing his throat a bit.

“My dad…he made his career, his success by writing about the things people knew about. But somehow, he wrote about it better than everyone else, which is how he got so famous. It was always about current events and what is relevant at the time. When I told him about going on this ship, he thought it would be a new kind of thing people could know about.” Alec shook his head on the screen, shaking himself out of some layer of thought that made him frown for a moment. 

Alec continued, “I don’t think he truly realizes…no actually, he really doesn’t get the reason I came. Maybe he’ll see this interview and find out someday, or maybe he won’t. You see, I like to learn and write about the parts of the world I don’t understand, the parts filled with mystery and wonder. The things that you want to know more about, but maybe don’t have the right way of finding it. That’s what I want to share with people. Coming on this journey…it’s a real ‘two birds, one stone’ kind of thing. My parents think I’m putting our family in the spotlight more, and I get to chase my dream of sharing a part of the universe that few people have experienced.” 

Alexander’s mouth quirked up into a crooked smile, one he did frequently and Magnus started to swoon over it every time. 

Magnus took his last sip of coffee, carrying the tablet with him as he moved around the ship. He walked idly, no destination in mind as he continued to watch more of Alec’s interview. It’s interesting because Magnus remembered talking for a long time during his own interviews, but he didn’t think many other people did the same. 

More so because Magnus was the kind of person who wanted an audience and loved to talk with anyone who was interested. 

But with Alec, it seemed different. It seemed he was opening himself up in an unfamiliar way, a way that he didn’t get to do often. 

He was talking to someone who wanted to listen for the first time. And Magnus _really_ wanted to listen. 

Magnus returned to his suite and nestled himself in one of the comfier chairs in his room. Scrolling further through Alec’s passenger profile, he found several excerpts and a couple of full-length pieces that Alec had written.

Realizing that he hadn’t read anything in so long, let alone anything he truly enjoyed, he made himself more comfortable and began to read. 

There were several short stories and essays, many of them about space and the mysteries of the universe that scientists on Earth have yet to discover. Alec beautifully connected those ideas to the idea of people finding magic and excitement in their everyday lives, discussing the moments that made you hide and the moments that made you realize who you were. 

He found one story in particular he loved. It had the air of a fantasy story but every detail was portrayed so well, Magnus easily fell in deep. It was about a boy growing up, his age never mentioned, but he was growing and fighting the conventions that had kept him hidden for so long. He battled ambiguous monsters and conquered new lands, empowering him to discover more of what he needed. 

It was a story of awakening, and just the thing Magnus needed to read in that moment. 

Alec was a magnificent writer. The way he strung words and thoughts together was captivating. It was easy to get lost in the worlds he created for his reader. 

Magnus smiled to himself, thinking that Alexander certainly found the path that called to him. He truly hoped he was able to defy the parts of his own life that tried to pull him from himself, like the boy in his story. That’s something Magnus had been trying to achieve his whole life. 

It was a constant journey. 

Magnus’s smile didn’t fade for a moment all day. He made his way over to the bar, where Simon wasted no time to prepare him a martini. 

Magnus sighed deeply before he spoke, eyes still transfixed on the glowing lines of Alec’s words on the screen in his hand. “Simon…do you ever read something so incredible, that you feel like it may have been just for you?” 

Simon nudges the glass closer to Magnus, with him grabbing the stem to take a sip. 

“I don’t do much reading, my friend. I don’t really have a need for it.” 

That answer wasn’t what Magnus hoped for but it didn’t break him from the spell Alec’s words cast over him. 

“Well, I wish you could understand what these words are making me feel. It’s…it’s indescribable. It makes the universe not seem cruel for a moment.”

“Oh Magnus, what makes you think that about the universe?” 

Magnus shook his head in frustration, at the constant back-and-forth with an android that would never truly understand his despair. He knew someone like Alec would get it.

He craved that understanding, that connection so badly. It had been far too long. 

Magnus took the last, long sip of his martini. “Maybe the universe isn’t entirely evil, Simon. But it definitely has quite a twisted sense of humor, and I’m at the center of the joke this time.” 

He got up and walked away, clutching the screen with Alec’s words tightly.

**************

Magnus’s days had changed and he smiled much more.

He had Alexander to thank for that. The way he perused his profile may have been excessive but it was the greatest respite he had received after so much time alone. 

Magnus watched more of his interviews, becoming enamored with his mannerisms of shyness and modesty, as well as the way his eyes would light up when he mentioned the things he loved. It was stunning. 

He also read more of Alexander’s stories, over and over again. They became his main source of comfort, allowing him an escape from his harrowing reality and the thoughts that taunted him. 

The stars in the galaxy around him throttled past as Magnus sat in one of the many alcoves of the ship. The plush of the seat underneath him was comforting, keeping him in a warmth as he watched Alexander talk on the screen in front of him.

Alec’s voice lilted in the empty spaces surrounding Magnus, making certain his attention did not stray. “I’m definitely going to miss New York. I spent pretty much my whole life there, I’ve never really called anywhere else home. You know, my family is there, my school was there, so much of my inspiration in writing has been bred from there. With a cup of coffee and a view of the Chrysler building, I could probably write about anything all day long.” 

Alexander chuckled to himself, the peacefulness of that thought washing over him. Magnus couldn’t help himself and laughed with him. He agreed out loud; what a perfect environment for inspiration. 

He didn’t let it slip his mind that Alec said he was from New York, just like him. Granted, Magnus lived and spent most of his time in Brooklyn, and Alec made it seem like he lived in Manhattan. But still…

Could they have ever crossed paths? Have their hands ever brushed on the subway in a flurry of people? 

Obviously, New York was a massively busy corner of the world but Magnus enjoyed the thought that they may have run into each other and never noticed it. 

He probably would have stopped in his tracks and dropped everything if he ever saw this beautiful face on the sidewalk. 

And now, here they were. Endlessly far from the world they knew, on the same journey to a totally new planet. If Magnus could trick himself well enough, it almost seemed like fate. 

Later on, as Magnus sat in his bed and took a break from reading Alec’s work, his fingers trailed over the hibernation pod manual that was still in his possession. Not really sure of what he was looking for, he started to read as a way to distract himself from the dark recesses of his mind. 

Something was lurking there, daring to come out, and Magnus wasn’t sure what it was. He wasn’t too thrilled by its presence, though. 

He spent a couple hours reading through the manual, collecting information that he subconsciously searched for, before falling into a fitful rest. 

A new day broke on the celestial horizon as he woke up. It seemed that, as he slept, his mind became clear about the information he had found before. The words he read all made sense and connected in his mind like puzzle pieces. 

After he rose and got ready for his day, he walked immediately to the bar to see Simon. 

Something was ablaze in Magnus’s eyes, setting the green and gold hues on fire. The manual was still clutched in his hand as he slammed it down on the bar. Simon whirred over to him, the same pleasant smile that Magnus had grown accustomed to. 

“Simon…say you were trapped on a deserted island. You were trapped there forever with no way of getting off. Then, you had the power to wish someone there with you…then you wouldn’t be alone in all that. Bu-but, you would be stranding them there, as well. Taking their life from them, essentially. Would you make that wish, Simon?”

Simon’s head quirked to the left slightly, “I don’t know, my friend. I’ve never been on an island.” 

Magnus let out a frustrated sigh, a bit at himself for asking an android such a difficult question. 

“Okay then, fine. Say that you knew you could do something that would make your life a million times better. It would make the days so much more bearable. But you knew it was wrong, you knew it was the wrong thing to do. How do you reason that choice with yourself?”

“Magnus, these aren’t exactly the right kind of questions for an android.” 

After that shallow defeat, Magnus sunk into the chair beside him, hanging his head for a moment before he spoke directly. He tapped his fingers lightly on the manual. 

“I…I can wake Alexander up. I know how to do it, I read it in here.” 

Simon’s mechanical face brightened for a moment, “Well! That sounds like a fantastic idea. You could have someone to keep you company.” 

“But, I would be taking his life away. He would be stuck on here forever, too.” 

“Oh well, you certainly can’t do that. That would be terrible. Besides, you always have me, my friend.” 

Frustration mounted all through Magnus. Simon just couldn’t understand; he would never truly understand what he was yearning for. 

“That’s not the same, Simon. I truly wish you could fucking see that.” He poked roughly at Simon’s chest, repeatedly as he felt the hardness of metal underneath soft clothing. 

Magnus went on, his voice rising just a bit. “You don’t feel that, Simon. You don’t feel anything! You don’t have feelings, so you’ll never truly get how any of this feels. You’re not human, you’re just a robot. No matter how many conversations I have with you, it’s all been programmed and none of it is real.” He breathes out roughly as the words spilled out of him.

The next ones were wistful, lost, and desperate. “I need something real. I don’t know how much longer I can last without it.” 

Simon just watched him, his expression unchanging as Magnus essentially had a conversation with himself. When it seemed like he wouldn’t continue, Simon spoke up. 

“So what will you do, my friend?” 

Magnus clenched his jaw tightly, his mind plunged into thought. “I can’t do it, there’s no way I can go through with that.” 

And that was what Magnus told himself. As hours turned to days, and days turned to weeks, he repeated that to himself. 

He said it out loud, he repeated it in his mind, he babbled it relentlessly to Simon. 

He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t do it. 

There was no way he could go through with that, or live with himself after. 

Magnus buried himself and his thoughts in every way he could. He drank copious amounts of alcohol, worked out fiercely, attacked a punching bag daily, and kept Alec’s writings far away from him. He did everything he could to distract himself, to build those walls back up that were hardened from being alone for so long. 

The walls that were immediately torn down simply at the sight of Alec’s face. 

Magnus tamed his overgrown facial hair in the mirror, whispering to his reflection. “You can’t do it, please don’t do it. Please.” He was pleading, begging himself not to make such an insane decision.

Those words ran through his mind over and over again, even on that day, when his feet trudged towards the hibernation pod room. Magnus moved a bit slowly as he walked, the weight of the toolbox he held steadying his pace. 

Pain and desperation had finally pushed him far enough. 

After several moments of hesitation and several more moments of impending regret, Magnus kneeled down next to Alec’s pod and open the manual to the page he needed. He opened up the main control box and began to work. He kept his head down, focusing on the mechanics of his task instead of letting his speculation talk him out of it. 

He tried, he really had. Magnus had warred with himself for so long, convincing himself of the immorality of doing this. 

Yet, here he was. Following the instructions and fiddling with the circuits of Alec’s pod so he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. For every second that he convinced himself that he should do this, it was followed with a second where he berated himself from making such a drastic decision for a stranger.

Magnus worked until he saw the fog inside the pod grow thick, the same haze that he vaguely remembers waking him up long ago. A couple of long beeps chimed as the pod began to open up, moving through its dehibernation process.

He did it. 

Magnus packed his tools away as quietly as he could, trying his best to make sure his movements were undetected as Alexander gained consciousness. He kept his body hunched over as he scurried towards the exit. 

“Good morning, Alexander. My name is Clary, how are you feeling today?” 

The same robotic voice that had first greeted him could be heard as he neared the exit, not taking a moment to look back. Just as he made it past the threshold into the concourse, he heard a couple of soft groans in a deep tone. 

It was a new voice Magnus had never heard, and the force of what he’d just done hit him fiercely. He ran as quickly as he could to his suite. Magnus shoved the toolbox out of sight and hid the manual in a drawer where he wouldn’t have to see it. 

His hands shook violently, but he did his best to calm them by running hands through his hair. Helplessness made him fall to his knees, utterly overwhelmed with what he’s just done. 

There was no way he could enjoy it yet. Once Alec woke again, there would be questions and confusion and frustration, just like his own first days. Further into the future, surely, Magnus would have to explain his decision.

But for now, _finally,_ Magnus wasn’t alone.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo someone is awake now? Yep. Next chapter is going to be exciting. 
> 
> LOVE YOU, come find me on [Tumblr to chat @lasttraintowherever](http://lasttraintowherever.tumblr.com) ♥


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4: Alec's first day on the Avalon
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: panic filled moments, it's not very bad but I'd rather be safe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends,
> 
> I am so sorry that this took a few days longer than I planned! Life always has a way of finding you and giving you an extra few things for your to-do list. Also my school just started again but I'm trying to make this fit in with my free time so I'll be sure to keep going with this. There's more Malec-centric development and interaction in the next few chapters, with lots of fluff (YES), so I am very eager to get those written. 
> 
> THE SUPPORT FROM THIS IS SO AMAZING! Honestly. It keeps me going so much and it is the greatest thrill to see an email from someone commenting or giving kudos or telling me they like it. It is much appreciated. 
> 
> Hope you have a lovely week xoxo Wasabi
> 
> (PS- That picture that Matt Hastings posted on Twitter of Alec during 3B...his hair is a mess and I'm worried it is a result of 'Magnus in Edom' angst. Season 3 will destroy me)

**************

As a new day broke aboard the Avalon, Magnus did his best to calm himself as he got ready. He spent a large chunk of the day lingering in his room, unsure if he could face what was coming next.

His hands shook slightly as he applied the gold glitter liner on the bottom crease of his eyelid. His fingers trembled as he smoothed down his shirt, running against the ridges of the golden buttons. 

Looking in the mirror, Magnus could clearly see the nerves beyond his perfected appearance. Despite his confidence portrayed in the form of his black and red shirt with open buttons and tight black pants, he saw anxiety lurking in his gaze.

With a shake of shoulders, he brushed the menacing feeling away as he left his suite for the grand concourse.

As familiar silver hallways moved past his vision, he walked closer to the entrance that led him to the center of the ship. 

That's when Magnus heard it.

"Hello? Is anyone here? Hello?"

The voice was deep and slightly gruff, with an unmistakable nervous edge. It bounced off the walls and echoed through the emptiness of the ship, as no one answered the voice back. 

The man spoke again, seeking out a response from someone, _anyone_. As Magnus descended upon the concourse, he could see a figure moving at the other side of a fountain; more so, a wall of water that obstructed his view. He walked to the side of the water wall, slowly clearing the blur and bringing the figure into sight. 

After seeing him through glass and on a video screen for so long, Magnus was close to breathless at the sight of Alexander, even just at the back of his sculpted frame.

Alec called out again, "Hello, anyone?" 

But this time, Magnus responded. 

"Hello there." 

As his voice bounced back, Magnus watched Alec whip his head around to face the response he just heard. Alec's eyes locked on him and Magnus was gone.

Hazel. 

Probably the most stunning hazel eyes Magnus had ever seen. It was an otherworldly mix of brown, green, and gold, and _that_ was determined from a distance.

As Magnus sauntered over slowly, he noticed that Alec's pupils were blown in disbelief as he gazed back, a slight dreaminess in eyes. He stood cemented in his place, body frozen to match his shocked face. Like he could barely believe what he was seeing.

Magnus smirked inwardly, thinking how flattering it was.

Once Magnus was within an arm's length distance, Alec snapped out of his trance and shook his head to clear his head. His long lashes fluttered as he blinked rapidly. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just…stop talking. You just-you…you are," Alec stammered over his words as his eyes continued to search every inch of Magnus. Magnus watched as he paused to take in some air before continuing. "Hi. Are you passenger or crew?" 

Magnus let a slow, comforting smile crest over him as he responded. "Passenger. My name is Magnus Bane, nice to meet you." 

He outstretched his hand casually, a gesture that Alec quickly accepted. Magnus didn't let the thought linger for a second about how large and enveloping Alec's hands were. 

The one that did linger? 

How exhilarating was it to just touch a human again. To feel that energy vibrating from one body to another, all through a simple touch…

Magnus almost felt dizzy. 

Alec's hand tightened around his own and he locked with his gaze. Those hazel orbs of his were marvelous up close. Magnus recognized that Alec clearly saw something he was intrigued by because his eyes looked like they were seeing light for the first time.

"Hi, Alec Lightwood." They dropped their hands, but Alec's eyes still searched over all of Magnus.

"Could that possibly be short for Alexander?" 

Alec's eyes widened slightly at that, a heated flush quickly coming to his cheeks and tinging his ivory skin with a light pink. 

"Um, yeah. That's my actual name but not many people call me that." 

Magnus smirked at that, "I do hope I get to be one of the lucky ones who do." 

Alec's vision seemed to get lost again, eyes preening over at Magnus before straightening out with focus. 

"Magnus, do you know what's going on? No one else in my row woke up. I haven't been able to find anyone else on the ship." 

Magnus's heart faltered at the rising fear that appeared in Alec's tone. The devastation of revealing their fate was on its way. 

"Alexander…I'm the only other person awake." 

"That can't be. The crew is supposed to get up a month before all the passengers." 

Magnus hung his head for a moment. "The crew is still asleep."

Alec's eyes searched, still unbelieving and confused. His strong shoulders were tense, and Magnus could see them tighten underneath his gray long sleeve short with black patches at the shoulder. "You're the only one awake?" 

Magnus tried his hardest to make sure there was enough compassion teeming from his eyes, doing anything to make this realization eased onto Alec.

"Yes, Alexander."

"That's not possible. The crew is supposed to land the ship in a few weeks." 

Alec seemed to know every bit of logistical information of this excursion. Just words wouldn't be enough to help him understand.

Turning on his heel, Magnus shifted his body to walk to the observatory room, motioning for Alec to follow him. "Come with me." 

The sound of footsteps moving quickly behind him caused anticipation to rise a bit in Magnus. They entered the dark room, one after the next, with the lights representing stars bounced off their skin. Magnus called out to the robot in the room, the one that presented him with his fate on that first day, asking it to bring up the map he was initially shown. 

Alec looked closely at the holographic figures, trying his hardest to make sense of it with a deeply furrowed brow. The robotic voice spoke from above, detailing the logistics of the ship's journey. As it concluded, the concrete nature of the final sentence stuck. 

"We will arrive in 89 years." 

The shock and confusion on Alec's face glowed fiercely as the words sunk in. 

"89 years?" Alec spoke out loud, perhaps to himself or perhaps for whoever to hear. 

In a soothing voice, Magnus spoke while slowly moving closer to Alec. "We're the only ones awake, Alexander. Our pods woke up too early." 

Magnus could practically see the anxiety creeping up Alec's spine, permeating his body with tension. He tried to push away the guilt that threatened his mind in an effort to comfort Alec. 

Alec's voice was rough with worry as he spoke. "We need help, Magnus. Where's the crew? We need to get to them immediately." 

Wordlessly, Magnus led the way out of the observatory and to the bridge, where the crew's pods were located. He showed him the door that he had spent so much effort trying to get through. Alec rushed to look inside through the small window, eyes shifting frantically left and right. 

Faced with this massive barrier, Magnus could hear him take a deep, shaky breath. 

"All the crew members are in there. Not to mention everything that controls the ship and its controls. All the reactors, controls, engines…everything that could really help. It's all behind this massive firewall door that's probably about 5 feet thick of steel. 

Alec turned around slowly glancing at the mass number of tools spread around the floor nearby. Tools that Magnus had fought with in his efforts to get through that door, but without any success. There must have been at least 20 different things he had tried. Alec's eyes travelled over the array, calculating what it meant for how hard Magnus had tried to get inside the bridge. 

"How…how long have you been awake?" The impending dread in Alec's voice was hard to ignore. 

Magnus locked eyes with him, mentally preparing himself for what he would say next, and the inevitable reaction that would follow. 

"One year and three weeks." 

It was as if a flash of lightning struck Alec in that moment. His eyes widened sharply, his breathing became erratic and uneven. Magnus looked down and saw his fingers begin to twitch frantically. 

"W-We have to get back to sleep. We have to get back to sleep!" 

Alec took off running, muttering about how they needed to get back into their pods and they could do it. Magnus rushed after him, following him into the hibernation room as he saw him scurrying around through the rows of sleeping passengers. 

"We just need to get back in our pods and start them back up! Where's my pod?!" Alec's head whipped back and forth, looking for where his empty pod was located. Even from a distance, Magnus could see the buildup of tears in his eyes as stress overtook him. 

His heart broke.

"Where's my pod? I can't find my pod!" Alec moved frantically, his voice growing with nervousness as Magnus reached out to stop him in his place. His hands reached out to Alec's arms, grabbing hold of the hard muscle to steady him.

"Alexander, stop. Look at me, you need to calm down." Alec's head still swiveled around helplessly as he kept searching the room. Magnus moved his hands further up, cradling his face firmly but with a calming tenderness. 

He knew it was potentially risky, especially with someone he didn't know, but the move calmed Alec immediately. Maybe not completely, but the furrow in his brow loosened a bit and his breath steadied. 

"Look at me, Alexander." Magnus's gaze searched for any recognition in Alec's hazel eyes, trying to not get lost in their beauty so he could calm Alec. 

Alec looked back, his expression riddled with worry, but with an openness that was so vulnerable. 

Taking a risk, Magnus let his thumb graze Alec's cheek a mere millimeter, just enough to soothe Alec the tiniest amount. Telling him something, without a single word, that would assuage this anguish. 

Alec reacted immediately, the speed in his breath slowing down as he let his eyes close for a moment. That second of comfort was over fast when Alec stepped back just slightly, gathering himself a bit. What washed over his tall frame and sharp features next was understanding, though not the pleasant kind.

Magnus continued, "I have tried everything. I'm an engineer too. I've look at this every way I could." He dropped his hands from his face but moved to grab one gently, guiding Alec towards his own open pod. 

"Alec…remember the place they took us to before we left? They ran all those diagnostic tests with us in the pods, and discussed with us about how the pods were putting us in hibernation? That's all these pods were meant to do…put us IN hibernation and wake us up at the right time. Getting it to go back, it's just not what it's made for. I have looked for so many ways to fix this." 

Magnus wondered subconsciously if he was talking to himself with that last sentence. He pushed that thought away quickly. 

Alec spoke in the trails of a whisper, "You don't think there's a way back into hibernation?" 

Magnus shook his head solemnly in response, letting his actions do their best in letting Alec down easily.

It felt pointless to worry about himself with the sight of a distraught Alec in front of him. 

To think that he was the one responsible for the concern pouring out of his eyes. 

Magnus would do everything he could to make this man feel okay again. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he didn't. 

They both moved at the same time as they made their way out of the hibernation room, back towards the grand concourse. Their feet followed the same pace, each move of their bodies in sync with a comfortable silence between them. Magnus did his best to make sure his body language was teeming with openness. 

As the silver hallways expanded into the grand concourse, the beams of light that surrounded them lowered, casting the area in a moonlit glow. The gleam over every surface was cooling and peaceful, but still warm enough to wrap you in the feeling of the day coming to a close. 

Alec looked around to take in the change of atmosphere, while Magnus spoke to him. 

"9'o'clock. They really pulled out every clever way to make you feel like you're not in space." 

A nervous laugh escaped Magnus, something out of character of his usual grace. But any anxiety stripped away quickly as he looked over at Alec in the low lights, a smile of understanding blooming across his face. He looked around at the ship as if he was seeing it for the first time, as part of a normal turn of events. 

In a way that showed he was still happy about where he was. 

The lights that lined the concourse were dark shadowy blues and soft glowing grays, and they bounced off every bone and ridge in Alec's angelic face. 

It cast a dusk across Alec's features, allowing his hazel eyes to shine brighter than Magnus had yet to see. No star in the galaxy dared to compete with how they glowed. 

Magnus couldn't stop the gentle smile that perked up on his face. They continued to walk towards the passenger cabins, a new air of calm over them. 

"You know, it's weird but despite being asleep for so long before, the only thing I want right now is to go to bed." 

"You're adjusting to the effects of being in hibernation, Alexander. Your body and your mind are going to need time to adjust. Do whatever feels right." Magnus did everything he could to let a soothe carry through his tone. 

The thought of giving himself the time to recover made a small, nearly incredulous smile grow on Alec's face, as if he usually never allowed himself the time he needed. 

Magnus continued, "Here. I'll walk you back to your cabin." 

Alec slowed his body down, turning to Magnus as he did. "I think I'll be okay, bu-but thank you. I just want to let myself unwind for a bit…alone. If that's okay, I don't want to be rude to yo-" 

One of Magnus's fingers moved to hover just above Alec's lips, putting an end to his rambling as Alec tried to appease any misunderstandings with Magnus. It was so beautifully kind that Magnus was having trouble to believe if Alexander was actually real. 

Alec's eyes narrowed to the finger in front of him, the breath escaping a bit quicker at the closeness. 

"I understand, Alexander. Do what is best for you." 

As Magnus removed his finger, the brightest of crooked smiles poured over Alec's features. He turned toward the hallway toward his suite, turning back to Magnus as he stood by the threshold and gently gripped the wall. 

"Over a year, alone. That must have been so hard, Magnus." 

Magnus let his gaze linger in that moment, witnessing the honesty and directness of that statement. It seemed to be Alec's preferred way of delivering his emotions. 

He gave a slightly broken smile in return, knowing there was much more to explore between them. 

"It definitely was, Alexander. It's a bit better now, though." 

With that final confession, Alec smiling was the last thing Magnus saw as they said their goodnights, Magnus remaining in his spot as Alec retreated to his cabin. 

On instinct, Magnus let his feel glide over to the wooden warmth of the bar. Simon whirred loudly to him, the sound of his robotics reverberating through the empty ship. 

Without fail, Simon poured him a tumbler of whiskey, understanding his mood and what Magnus's preferred drink would be based on his emotions. 

Magnus stared into the amber liquid for a while as Simon waited, looking for the words to respond to. 

Magnus looked back up at Simon, "Do me a favor, please. My dear Simon, this is really important. Please don't tell Alexander I woke him up. I-I need to be the one to tell him." 

Simon's mechanical face smiled back at him. "Whatever you like, my friend."

**************

Everything felt so hot, and then a splintering cold ran through his blood.

No chance to recover, just dramatic shifts in pain that never got better. Back and forth, it shot through Alec's skin and it shook him awake. He jumped to a sitting position in his bed, his eyes bursting open, short breaths gasping for a lifeline. 

It was just a nightmare. Alec whispered to himself to convince his mind that he was okay, that the dark place he'd just imagined wasn't real. 

As Alec looked around his room, he realized clearly that it wasn't his place in New York, but his cabin room aboard the Avalon. That was when the dawn of realization flowed over him, reminding him of his twisted fate. 

He secretly hoped that had been the nightmare he woke up from, instead of his amazing plans for a new life being snatched from his grasp.

The persistent, frantic flow of his breath would not cease at the rate he wanted so Alec focused hard on the movement of oxygen through his body. 

Today had been…difficult, to say the least.

Alec's eyes drifted to the window across from his bed, watching large masses of stars pass by him. The beautiful glimmer of their light stared back at him and it brought calm to him immediately. 

Alec lied back down on his bed, letting heavy exhaustion weigh down his eyelids. His next day in this new reality approached but as he drifted towards sleep, he felt so thankful that he wasn't here alone.

Sparkling hues of green and gold twinkled in his mind as he fell back asleep.

**************

While the ship was quiet and its two conscious passengers fast asleep, lights in the grand concourse flickered violently.

Red lights of warning flashed for a few moments, in an area of the ship far from where the passengers resided. They beeped and blinked until they shut down for about a hour before its circuits started back up again.

After the impact of the asteroid long ago, the systems inside the ship gave off alarming beeps, without anyone to hear them. 

The inner systems of the ship fought to keep the malfunctions in order, but some parts did not fix themselves. 

At a slow pace, at various corners of the Avalon, things were not adding up.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for these men to get closer~~~~~~~~
> 
> Find me on Tumblr [@lasttraintowherever](http://lasttraintowherever.tumblr.com)♥


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5: A mirror image of Magnus in the past, Alec fights for his survival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO FRIENDS!!! 
> 
> I am sorry this chapter took longer to get out. I had to make it perfect! Also school....blegh. The first two weeks got way busier than I anticipated so I kept losing time to work on this. 
> 
> I PROMISE YOU I WILL NOT ABANDON THIS!!! I already have two parts of the next chapter ready and I am dying to get to it because it's more fluff and bonding and getting closer~~~~~~~~~~~
> 
> This chapter was also going to be longer but I realized that it ended better where I left it and I could do more with their relationship growth next chapter. I hope you enjoy!! Thank you for all the love and support, it means the world to me and is my ultimate motivation. 
> 
> xoxoxo Wasabi

**************

"But there has to be some way of repairing pods! What happens when they break down, what's the procedure?"

"Hibernation pods are failsafe, there is no need." 

As Magnus's feet glided down the hallway, he descended upon the concourse to see an awake and frustrated Alec arguing with the information booth android. Magnus chuckled softly at the sight, getting a view of the position he had been standing in over a year ago. 

The dark green sweater he wore was simple but lovely, hugging his sculpted body in a way that begged for Magnus's undivided attention. Not that he was ever willing to do otherwise. Magnus walked over to him, ready to spend his new day with the man he's only known through a video screen for months. 

"Good morning, Alexander." 

Alec turned to his side to look at him, his gaze lingering in a painfully noticeable way before he actually spoke.

"Hi. Morning, Magnus." 

Magnus swayed his shoulders a bit as his feet remained in their place. He took in the inkling of desperation in Alec's gaze and wanted to mend it immediately.

"Are you interested in some breakfast?"

"Oh god, yes. I'm starving." The eagerness made Magnus smile brightly as he motioned for him to follow. 

Alec continued mumbling his discontent as he walked alongside Magnus. "That stupid machine isn't helping me out, anyways." 

"Believe me, darling. I have endured very similar struggles that involved me yelling at androids." 

He leads Alec into the large cafeteria area, as sleek as the rest of the ship and filled with light. Magnus went to the console to retrieve his breakfast and sat down while Alec did the same.

Over the many months, since Magnus had no other choice, he had somehow convinced himself to be sated by his mediocre, standard passenger breakfast. It wasn't until his dismal tray of food was next to Alec's gold star breakfast that he realized how much he'd been missing. 

Unaware of the longing hunger in Magnus's eyes, Alec sat down with his coffee across from him. He took a small glance at Magnus's breakfast and smiled meekly.

"Wow, um. You're a man of simple tastes." 

The incredulity of that statement made Magnus laugh, as it was so far from the truth and nearly every first impression of himself he'd ever herd. 

"On the contrary, my dear Alexander. Food from all over the world is actually one of my favorite aspects of life. However, I'm not a gold star passenger, so that delicious breakfast is far beyond my reach." Magnus nursed the coffee cup to his lips, taking a sip of the hot liquid to hide his wry smirk.

He figured that Alec would just move on with their conversation but as Magnus looked up at him, he saw his hazel eyes open wide in shock. The fan of his long eyelashes blinked rapidly. 

"Do you mean….that's all you've been eating this whole time? Oh man, what can I get you?" 

Magnus was ready to brush off his concern and keep eating, but Alec was already standing up to get another tray of food. Magnus thought for a brief, _very brief,_ moment about stopping him but Alec made it clear that there was no argument to be had. 

Soon enough, Alec returned back to their table with a tray overflowing with the most luxurious breakfast Magnus had seen in far too long. 

A fluffy, cheesy quiche. A bowl filled with yogurt and granola. A plate of exotic fruits that looked like a miniature rainbow. The smell of the quiche drifted up to Magnus's nostrils as he gazed down, breathing deeply as he got ready to dig in. 

His fork went immediately for the piece of pineapple staring back at him and Magnus popped it in his mouth, the sweet fruit engulfing his taste buds. It had been so long until his tongue had tasted something so delicious. 

Magnus's eyes drifted back to Alec thank him, but as he looked into those hazel orbs, Magnus saw a look of admiration and happiness about how something so small could make someone so happy. 

Words weren't needed. Alec knew how thankful he was. 

Their breakfast continued in silence for a few minutes before Alec's restlessness caught up with him again. 

"So, I've thought a bit this morning about what we can do to get back to sleep. There's got to be something on the ship to help. Let's check the infirmary." 

Magnus speared a piece of quiche with his fork, "I checked there already. All that's in there is some fancy scanners and an auto-doctor. Not my favorite of the bots I've come across, I must say."

Alec did not get phased for a moment. "Well…maybe the cargo hold! There could be some more hibernation equipment down there." 

"I've looked there as well. There's nothing." 

"Okay, you're an engineer, you said. Let's find a way to build our own." 

"We can't do that." 

Alec grunted in frustration, clearly unhappy with the stonewall of answers he was receiving. "Come on, Magnus. You're not even trying!" 

Gazing hard back at Alec, Magnus set his coffee mug down on the table with a thud, louder than he anticipated. He inhaled deeply before responding to the claim that he wasn't trying, as if he hadn't been driven to the brinks of desperation and insanity in his year alone on the ship. 

"No, Alexander. You are very wrong. I have tried absolutely everything. I've been completely alone for over a year, so I had nothing to do but think about how to fix this. I have tried every way out of this…and I can't do it." 

Magnus felt the way he sounded: defeated. 

Beneath the layers of acceptance of his fate aboard the Avalon, there was an existential dread about the turn of events that led him here. He's not sure when that would fade, if ever. He hoped that having a companion would help silence it, but it surely wouldn't if Alec continued with this motivation. 

Looking back at Alec, his hazel eyes were ablaze. One emotion after another flashed across them as he looked back at Magnus. Anger, confusion, sadness, sympathy…Alec seemed to be unsure of what to land on. 

"Well, I'm not ready to give up." Alec slammed his coffee mug down on the table and briskly walked out of the cafeteria. He hadn't said it with anger, but more with determination. 

The same determination that Magnus had in his initial efforts to find a way out of his dismal situation. A deep sigh flowed through his body as Magnus continued to eat his breakfast alone. 

Just like Magnus in the beginning of being awake, Alec wasn't ready to accept his reality. Magnus would wait and when he was ready, show him what more could be waiting for him. 

He hoped Alec would want it.

**************

Alec was on a mission. Probably the most important one he'd ever had for himself. Also, potentially the most pointless task he could take on.

He unhappily left Magnus alone at breakfast to explore the ship to see if there was something, _anything_ , that could help him. Not that he doubted Magnus hadn't tried, but there could always be something he missed. A new set of eyes might help. 

Alec made his way into the infirmary, the bluish glow of lights detecting his presence and turning on. The room was silent and empty, the appearance of an empty hospital room. He opened every drawer and book he could, searched every surface for any information but it was entirely fruitless. There was plenty of medical information but nothing about the health or treatment of people in hibernation. 

Following his lack of success, Alec went towards one of the rooms off the concourse that was filled with computers for passenger use. He sat down and spoke to get the attention of the help robot. 

"I need information on hibernation pods." 

The computer's chirping voice spoke back. "That information is not available to passengers."

"What the hell does that mean? This is an emergency!" 

"Information on hibernation pod technology is proprietary." 

"What about any research documents or any sort of technical manuals?" Maybe something like that could be easy to understand by Magnus, he said he was an engineer.

The screen popped up a few windows with large blocks of text, allowing a glimmer of hope to run through Alec for a brief moment. "That information is proprietary. The following sources deal with the topic at the theoretical level." 

Alec slammed his hands down on the desk in front of him. A grunt overflowing with frustration jumped out of him. He let that fiery anguish guide his body towards the bridge where the impermeable steel door met him.

One by one, Alec began grabbing the array of tools that surrounded the floor near the bridge and did everything. He pummeled, he hammered, he sawed. It must have been at least an hour of him fighting with a massive steel obstacle. His body ached from the constant exertion but the flurry of anxiety in Alec's mind wouldn't let him stop. He couldn't stop yet, maybe if he kept trying, he was slowly beating it down…

What an absurd dream. 

His arms suddenly felt so heavy, like whatever force that helped them stay up floated away and Alec's body fell to the ground. 

He screamed loudly at the door. A scream of anger and sadness and frustration, all in one. Alec feebly tried to grab another tool to continue but his body fiercely debated against it, begging him to recover. 

Alec stayed kneeling in front of the bridge for a long while, unable to get back on his feet and let the reality of everything he was feeling hit him harder.

Alec's head was down, so he didn't see Magnus observing him at the end of the hallway. Magnus had seen a fair amount of the pain Alec put himself through to get through the door. The physical exhaustion in his body was clear, and the woe in his demeanor was even clearer for Magnus to see. He felt so responsible and helplessly heartbroken.

**************

There was a small couch in front of the bed in Alec's cabin. It wasn't big but large enough for him to feel comforted as he sunk into the plush of the cushions. The couch sat facing a large window, the expanse of space glimmering through the glass as if he was watching the most sophisticated TV screen ever.

His body ached fiercely after his grueling fight with the bridge door, so he let himself take his mind off of his misery and returned to his cabin. He spent the next few days alone, far from Magnus. Not because he wanted to avoid him, but because his mind was still adjusting to…everything, really.

Alec sat there, letting his thoughts drift around in concentric circles. 

The stars before him were endless. They danced with grace and gentleness in his eyeline and he let their subtle power take him over. 

A deep sigh filled his lungs. After breathing out, Alec reached for the tablet by his side. He opened up a blank writing document and set up the voice recognition software quickly. 

He didn't want to think. He wanted the words to spill out of him with ease. There was so much he wanted to say. 

In the quiet of his room, bouncing of the glass window that revealed space throttling by, Alec's words flourished off his lips and onto the tablet. 

_"My Voyage: Chapter 1._

_I boarded this ship for the chance to traverse through the unending universe. I boarded with an idea for how to learn about the world, and an indescribable new destination._

_Both, now, are completely out of reach._

_I am awake, far too soon. And now, I'm stuck in a steel world, spiraling through space with no one to hear my calls for help._

_There's another passenger awake. A kind engineer named Magnus Bane and he's…quite magical. He's been awake for a year before me and he seems to have accepted our fate, our unfortunate reality._

_But I'm scared. I'm fighting hard to keep my calm._

_All the other passengers will sleep for another 89 years, headed to the new world they were promised. Everything will go exactly as planned for them, while I live the rest of my life on this ship. Traveling forever, never arriving. My only companion is a total stranger."_

**************

Magnus had been alone for a few days, without a word shared with Alexander.

He knew he was okay though. At least, physically. Magnus had seen him jogging a couple of mornings around the top level of the concourse. He occasionally heard his footsteps walking down hallways. 

Two days ago, he saw him sitting in front of one the largest windows on the ship, eyes entranced by the spectacle of celestial bodies outside. Magnus wouldn't have dared to disturb him then. 

Magnus knew that Alec needed some space and time to digest what was happening, and he was more than happy to give it to him. Though he was the one who put him in this situation, Magnus wanted for Alec to be comfortable with him. 

Magnus spent a year alone, desperate for connection. However, he would wait however long it took to make sure that connection was genuine. 

Walking back slowly through the concourse, stretching his legs after a long period of sitting, Magnus noticed something strange. 

One of the small cleaning robots that were frequently seen scurrying around the ship kept running into the wall. Again and again and again…

The small machine kept banging into the hard surface, clearly having a malfunction and Magnus watched closely, wondering about the reason behind it. It went on for at least a minute, not that Magnus was counting, but long enough to prove that there was clearly an issue with its mechanics. 

Just as Magnus was about to bend down and study it, it started up and backed away from the wall, straightening out before it continued down a hallway. Magnus was alone again, a new feeling in his stomach that something peculiar had just happened.

**************

It had been 5 days since Magnus had spoken to Alec.

He was itching to see him again and watch the enchanting glow of those hazel eyes. Magnus had convinced himself he was okay with being patient for him, so he tried to drown out all restless thoughts any way he could. 

Magnus shifted in his seat at his usual breakfast table, tinkering with the inner workings of the cleaning robot he saw malfunctioning the day before. He didn't really have anything he was looking for in particular but busying himself with tasks he knew how to tackle was a welcome distraction. 

His fingers moved with a practiced ease, looking for anything out of the ordinary. 

Magnus was so lost in his focus that he didn't register Alec walking towards him, his head not looking up until he heard Alec drop down in the seat across from him. 

"Why did you come here?" 

His question was honest, straightforward, filled with curiosity that complemented the hopefulness in his eyes. It was a side of Alexander he had yet to see, and it was breathtaking. 

"Good morning to you too, Alexander. It's nice to see your face again." Magnus spoke with a small smirk, evident to Alec that he was speaking with jest. 

Alec's crooked smile made its first appearance in days, sparking the air that circulated around them. 

"Morning, Magnus. Sorry I've been…distant. I just needed some time to myself, I hope that's ok-"

Magnus lifted his palm up, dismissing any regret in Alec's tone. "It is more than okay, Alexander. I want you to take whatever time you need." 

"Thank you." Alec straightened up in his seat and set a sleek recording device between them, turning it on. "Now, I'm interviewing you. Why did you come aboard the Avalon, Magnus?" 

A small chuckle escaped from Magnus, warm and husky in a way that made Alec tense up for a moment. "Why would you want to interview me, Alexander?" 

"You're the first hibernation pod failure in the history of space travel, Magnus. That's a story, that's something that people have never known about and should." 

Passion was roaring through Alec's eyes, a clear and fierce storm that indicated he was clearly in his element. 

"Who do you plan to tell this story to?" 

"Posterity. Someone far in the future. That's enough for me." Alec leaned his body forward on the table, bringing him closer into Magnus's space. Magnus's nerves began to ignite.

Alec continued, "So, why did you leave Earth? 120 years in space hibernation means you'll never seen anyone you care about again. You'll wake up in a new century on a brand-new planet. It's essentially geographical suicide." 

Magnus cocked his head to the left, letting his ears truly soak in Alec's words. "I could ask you the same question, Alexander. Why would you make such a decision?" 

"We can get to that later," Alec said with a barely-there smile, "It's your interview first. Please…" His voice trailed off but still carried steady hopefulness. 

Magnus let his head hang for a second, knowing that the reasons were bubbling in his gut, trying to find their way out. He was unsure if it would come out elegantly or in a jumble of emotions. 

Alec's voice spoke up again, softer and more open. "Were you running away from something? Were you-oh shit. I'm sorry if it's hard to talk about…I mean, you can tell me. I can turn this off, or you can not tell me at all. Maybe this was a bad idea." 

Alec trailed off as he reached for the recorder between them but before he could grab it, Magnus place his hand on top of Alec's, stilling his attempt to turn it off. He didn't enclose his fingers, but the closeness of their skin was enough to press searing heat into Magnus's palm. Magnus took a deep breath before moving his hand back. 

"I just wanted a new start…a new world." 

"Come on, Magnus. That's Homestead Company advertising." 

Magnus was certain that a medley of emotion was teeming out of his eyes, enough to scare most people off. But Alec didn't flinch. He looked at Magnus inquisitively, waiting for Magnus's honesty to meet his own. 

Magnus wouldn't dare deny him. 

He pushed the tools he had been working with aside, then settled his hands on the table in front of him, leaning forward and mirroring Alec. 

"On Earth, when something is broken, you replace it. You don't fix it. When someone wants to build something new, they repeat the same ideas or use what already works. It's a mentality and a way of life that has been cemented after a couple hundreds of years. Comfort will never be compromised for innovation. No one is willing to take real chances and build something totally new in the world around them." 

Magnus felt his fingers tremble a bit and he did his best to hide it, cutting off his gaze with Alec before he continued. "I've had friends and family I loved on Earth and it was unbearable to leave them, but I also had people tear me apart. They tore me down to the point that made me question my very existence, the way I lived and the way I fit into the world around me. I hated they had that power over me. I need a new world and I yearn for it. I want to build my life on a planet where there's room to grow. I want to design and build the home of my dreams, in the midst of untouched splendor. That vision was enough incentive, so I did it." 

The last words trailed off Magnus's lips as he looked back Alec, taking a chance at seeing what his reaction would be. He had just poured out a lot of his history, the thoughts and moments that were defining to who he was. 

If Alec didn't like that, he would likely never truly get along with him. 

But as Magnus looked into Alec's eyes, scanning over his expression, he saw something so bare and trusting. It's as if Alec's entire soul was shining from his eyes, lighting up the atmosphere that surrounded them. Magnus couldn't look away if he tried.

And just when he thought it couldn't get better, Alec smiled brilliantly at him, sending his heart into a frenzy. 

"Thank you, Magnus." Alec's long fingers reached forward and shut off the recorder.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY'RE GETTING WAY CLOSER NEXT CHAPTER, IM SO READY
> 
> Find me on [TUMBLR @lasttraintowherever](http://lasttraintowherever.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6: Alone in space, Magnus and Alec find solace in each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO LOVES, 
> 
> Here it is!! Chapter 6!! with lots of the fluff and bonding that we want, and it's all preparation for a fluff and love fest next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Thank you so much for the continued support and motivation for this story, it makes me so happy. Hope you're having a lovely week so far.
> 
> Also HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE MALEC DATE!!!! Only 42 days left until season 3, we can do it team! 
> 
> ♥ Wasabi

**************

Alec seemed quite determined to keep finding more to write about.

Magnus had been filling his time with small tasks on the ship, fixing things and studying the engineering manuals. It seemed that Alec was finding his own thing to do, and he needed more inspiration. 

Throughout the morning, Magnus shared more about his life to him. How he'd become an engineer and how he put himself through school by doing every job he could: gardening, waiting tables, drawing portaits in the parks of New York, modeling…

"Modeling?" Alec seemed a little surprised at that being an odd job. 

Magnus held on to the opportunity to tease him. "What do you mean by that, Alexander? You don't think I could pass for a model?" Magnus winked at him, causing a flurry of pink to rush to Alec's cheeks. 

"No! No, it's not that. Not at all, you could definitely be…..I mean, you look, you are…" Alec's voice trailed off as he attempted to gather himself. 

They were walking down the halls of the ship, talking and striding with no particular destination. Alec seemed a bit restless today, Magnus was hoping to stick around and calm his worries. 

Alec spoke again, "I guess I'm just surprised that you needed to work other jobs with that. I thought models made a good amount of money. Surely, enough to help with school." 

The thought made Magnus chuckle. "Wow, now I am incredibly flattered that you think I was some high-end model. But no, nothing like that. Mostly just for figure drawing classes at some art schools in New York. Sometimes with clothes, sometimes without. Those were the better paying jobs anyways." 

His smile was devilish as he looked back at Alexander. Magnus watched as the realization washed over him. The small bite of Alec's lip didn't go undetected as he nodded in understanding. 

With no recollection of how it happened, they ended up in the hibernation pod room. 

They maneuvered slowly around the pods as they glided through the room. They didn't speak for a couple minutes but their moving bodies didn't stray far from each other. Magnus was beside himself that Alec seemed to be in need of closeness the way he was. 

Alec's eyes glazed over the rows of pods before him. "Do you know how much money the Homestead Company made on their first colony? 8 quadrillion dollars. That's 8 million billions. This business is a damn goldmine for them." 

Magnus wasn't entirely sure that Alec was speaking to just him. It was as if he was addressing the entire room of sleeping souls. 

He turned to look at Magnus, "Did you pay full price for your ticket?" 

"No actually. I was in a desirable trade, so I got a discount. The cost was still exorbitant though, definitely something that would eat your life savings alive." 

Alec grunted disapprovingly at that, "So they filled your head with dreams and gave you a cheaper ticket to bring you to this new world. But then, you sign yourself up to give the Homestead company 20% of everything you make for the rest of your life. Not to mention, the massive debt you could rack up aboard this ship." 

Magnus watched him carefully, taking notice of the frustration in his eyes. "Alexander, I can't say I'm in love with this uber-skeptical side of you. Are you saying that all you see in this room is 5,000 suckers who got bamboozled?" 

The question was asked without ire but with the intention of asking Alec to seriously consider his thinking. Alec looked around forlornly at the sleeping passengers, letting his thoughts ferment before he answered. 

"I see a bunch of zeroes in the Homestead Company's bottom line. People who were preyed upon for someone else's profit." 

The dread was present in Alec's gaze, as if his mind was clearer about the story he thought he might find when he initially came aboard this journey. 

Magnus had been so used to the complexity of the man he watched in interviews for months, so this new layer was unexpected. Though it was good to see that Alec questioned things, he would never want that to impede his ability to hope. 

Taking a step closer to Alec, Magnus moved slowly to make sure he wasn't overstepping any boundaries between them. Alec showed no signs of moving away, so Magnus relished in the way his eyes glowed as he looked back at him.

"Do you know what I see, Alexander? I see 5,000 people who took a chance to change their lives. I see 5,000 brave souls who were willing to leave everything they knew to be somewhere completely new. There are 5,000 different reasons to take a chance in this room and you don't know what they are because you don't know these people." 

Alec's stare had not broken with him for a second, but the steadfastness in his expression faltered for a moment. 

"I know people. I've experienced the good and bad of them quite a bit and being a writer and a journalist opened my eyes to plenty of them." 

Magnus saw a challenge present itself and he took it without hesitation. 

"Let's test that theory, then." Magnus maneuvered over to one of the closest cluster of pods. He glanced at the screen of one to learn about its inhabitant quickly and then covered it up before looking back at Alec.

"This man here, do you think he's a professor, banker, or bartender?" 

Alec moved a bit closer to get a better look, his brow furrowing as he did. "Banker." 

Magnus quirked his eyebrow up at him and removed his hand from the screen. "Wrong. Bartender." 

Despite being wrong, a smile grew steadily on Alec's face as he watched Magnus move to another group of pods, reading the information about another passenger. 

"This woman, is her name Gretel, Donna, or Theresa?"

Magnus watched as Alec got closer, really inspecting this time. "That hair is too wild to be Donna, I think Theresa." 

A hearty laugh flew out of Magnus, ready to see Alec's expression when he learned the truth. "Gretel." 

"Damn it!" 

Magnus was already moving to his next pod as Alec followed. The sleeping female passenger had dark skin and a head of tight curls. Her sleeping form looked especially peaceful. 

"Now, this young lady. Is she a chef, accountant, or marine biologist?" 

Alec raised an eyebrow at him, "She has to be a marine biologist. There's no way that you made that up on the spot." 

Magnus bit his lip at Alec's ability to spot his ruse. "You got me, she is a marine biologist. But I think you have learned that being quick to judge is not the best way of living." 

Alec beamed at him without inhibition as he moved closer to get a look at the woman in the pod. The profile on the screen stated her name was Maia Roberts. 

Looking at her sleeping form, Alec whispered softly. "Marine biologist seems like such an interesting job. Going to a new planet with so many new species will be an amazing experience for her." 

He spoke with such fondness about the potential for Maia's future, it melted Magnus's heart almost instantly. This little game clearly had an impact on him and Magnus was delighted that he could make him see things in a new light. 

They left the hibernation room and got coffee before making their way to one of the large lounge areas, complete with a massive window that exposed the celestial wonder they were constantly passing by. 

Both men settled down in an area with shallow couches, continuing their conversation. Alec leaned against the back of the couch with his legs up, while Magnus lounged on his side with his arm resting on the back. 

Magnus was thrilled to learn more about the man in front of him. He'd already shared quite a bit about himself, but most of what Magnus knew about Alec was through his interviews and writing. He was more than ready the words from his own lips.

"Is it time for your interview, Alexander?" 

"Why do you want to call me that? Everyone calls me Alec." 

Magnus cocked his head slightly and a raise of his eyebrows shot a teasing look at Alec.

"I am _certainly_ not everyone." 

Alec tried to keep his lips pressed together but he couldn't hide the smile peeking out of his face. "I…I can see that. Believe me." 

It was almost unbelievable, watching such a spectacular man unfold in front of him. To see layers of a hard exterior, filled with tension and rigidity melt away, little by little. 

For Alec, it was only about a week. For Magnus, this was admiration that had built for a long time and now, to see this person in all their glory…truly unbelievable. 

Magnus took the last sip of his heavily-sweetened coffee before setting his cup down in a crook near his leg. "I like your real name. It suits your presence, your demeanor. Do you not like it?" 

Alec sighed, "I do, I ju-I feel like the only connection I have with it is being berated by my parents when they're mad. Or when I was in trouble with them. Hearing you say it, it feels…reborn." 

Magnus's glare intensified in that moment, captivated by Alec's words. 

How could it be that Alexander kept surprising him? He knew he could fall for people fast, but this thoughtful man was making that near impossible to resist. 

"Well then _Alexander_ , I think the consensus says that I'm sticking with that name. So let's move along with your interview." Magnus rested his head in his palm as he kept his eyes locked on Alec. "Why were you coming on this unspeakably insane journey?" 

Alec remained in his sitting position, long legs stretched out in front of him as he responded. "Well, the short answer is I was chasing a story. But a lot of things in my life kind of accumulated to making such a drastic decision. I was even toying with the idea of only staying for a year, interviewing all the new inhabitants of Homestead II and then going on the ship back to Earth."

"What? Why would you do that? You'd end up right where you started." Magnus scratched the stubble around his chin as he looked inquisitively at Alec. 

"Not back where I started. I end up 250 years into the future, on Earth as the only writer to travel to a colony world and back. I can tell people something they've never known before with my story." 

Radiance shone fiercely out of Alec's eyes as he discussed the dream, the vision he chased to get aboard this ship. 

The look was quickly followed by a flash of sadness, as if Alec was remembering something that hurt. 

He continued, "Besides, maybe being that far into the future…the world will change in how they view the things they once hated. Or they won't berate their family members for being a certain way or…people will be freer to be who they really are…I don't know, I'm just rambling now." 

Magnus smiled, "And your ramblings are quite beautiful and thoughtful. I do hope it takes far less than 250 years for people to be able to live their lives with that freedom."

Alec grinned slowly in response, letting the curve of his lips take their time as they grew upwards. He looked as if he was thinking carefully about how long a change like that in humanity would take. 

Magnus decided to tread deeper, but with extreme caution and care.

"Is there anyone in particular that has made you feel this way, Alexander?" 

"Um…well, yeah. My parents. I've been under a lot of pressure with them my whole life, even when I loved writing and became pretty good at it. They tried to push and form me the way they wanted, never really considering what I wanted…or needed." 

"What did you need?" 

Alec fiddled with the coffee cup in his hand, empty but still providing him with some kind of anchor as he mulled through his thoughts. 

"I needed the people who are meant to love me the most to accept me, to know that I was still the same person who decided not to hide a part of themselves anymore." 

Those words made Magnus light up, thrilled to see that Alec was so in tune with what he needed to be happy. Some people spent their lifetime unfufilled, looking for that very thing. 

"Hiding yourself never feels good. I'm glad to hear you've come out the other side." 

"I'm gay. That's what I'm trying to get at. That's what they wouldn't accept. No matter if I was a teenager or an adult, they couldn't bear the thought. It was my one great flaw in their eyes, that I could be their golden child if it wasn't for that one thing." 

Magnus felt the sting of tears in his eyes, seeing a reflection of so much of the similar hate he'd face in his life, by people who were closed off and unwilling to accept the anyone that was different. 

They made this extraordinary man believe he wasn't worthy. Magnus would work his damn hardest to admonish that thought from his mind forever. 

Alec's voice perked up again, breaking Magnus from his thoughts. "Did you hear what I said?" 

"Of course, Alexander. Every word." 

"Do you…have any problems…with that? With me being gay?"

The fiddling of Alec's hands increased, and Magnus was certain it matched a franticness present in his mind. Taking a chance, Magnus reached forward and removed the cup from Alec's grip, letting the warmth of their hands graze each other's for a moment. Magnus set the cup down on the table before them, his mind preparing itself diligently. 

Ardent and enduring, he looked back at Alec to respond. 

"My dear, hearing about the way your parents haven't accepted you hurts me deeply. It's a story I've heard and seen far too many times, and it frequently seems to happen to exceptional people who deserve so much better. As a proud bisexual man, I've had to bear the disapproving words and glares of people most of my life. That freedom you yearn for…I hope for it, too."

The next words were spoken softer, smoother, like honey dripping from Magnus's lips. They were meant to nurture and help something new blossom. 

"You're safe with me here, Alexander." 

Alec's eyes had been slightly awestruck the entire time Magnus spoke to him, but at that last sentence, they softened beautifully. 

As if he was seeing clearly for the very first time. 

Magnus felt like his vision was cemented for a moment in time. He looked at the tenderness and vulnerability teeming from Alec, recognizing the flecks of gold that melded within the hazel. 

"Th-that's really, _really_ good to know, Magnus. Thank you." 

Magnus cocked his head to the side, his smile not fading for a second. "You're welcome."

Every nerve ending in the air around them started humming blissfully. Magnus had passed a massive barrier in learning about the man across from him. He could see the bareness in Alec's expression, like he was revealing parts of himself that no one has had the privilege to see.

It was unfathomably beautiful. 

"So…what is there to do for fun around here?"

Magnus grinned to himself at the request, his heart doing somesaults at the thought of spending some more time with Alexander. 

He's thrilled that Alec seemed to want the same.

**************

That day aboard the Avalon was the best day Magnus had experienced since he's been awake.

No contest. 

His favorite part was watching Alec's eyes crinkle along the edges when he smiled brightly, unable to contain his joy. Lucky for Magnus, it happened more than once.

Magnus showed Alec every corner of the Avalon, all the hidden rooms and spaces foractivities that he had uncovered in his time alone. Alec seemed to have a steady, unabashed thrill as he came across the unseen parts of the Avalon. 

After their exploration, at Alec's initially casual request, they had a running race along the upper concourse. Alec seemed eager to feed his competitive spirit. 

Magnus was never one to back down from a challenge and he was definitely not about to complain about seeing Alec in sweaty, exercise clothing. 

He tried extra hard, as well, not to gloat too much when he won the race, much to Alec's chagrin. 

"Looks like you need a bit of practice, Alexander." 

They were leaning again a railing high above the concourse, catching their breaths. Magnus was gripping the bar, partly from exhaustion and partly to keep his hands from reaching out and wrapping his fingers in Alec's sweat-soaked shirt. 

As he glanced back at Alec, his gaze was lingering on his arms and Magnus suddenly felt more confident. 

"This isn't over yet, Magnus." A mischievous smirk crested over Alec's lips. 

It surely wasn't, especially after Magnus suggested a game of pool in the largest activity room, with nearly every bar and board game in existence. The walls were made of a dark red velvet and the same deep oak that the bar was made of. 

They were pretty even in skill throughout the game and no matter how many flirtatious distractions Magnus threw at Alec, he was focused on victory. When they were each on their last ball, Magnus was certain that he would likely lose this game until he caught a glimpse of Alec watching him. 

His eyes were hazy and almost glazed over, looking right at Magnus but not noticing Magnus looking back at him. Inklings of desire were clearly pouring out of him, but Alec seemed to gather himself quickly with a look down and a bite of his lip. 

Magnus did his best to not think about the heat he felt under Alec's stare, especially when Alec's eyes lit up as he won their pool game. The memory of that gaze was quickly replaced by Alec's delighted smile. Magnus was enraptured. 

They were filled with glee as they made their way to the bar. Simon was predictably cleaning a glass before whirring his way over to them. 

"Good evening, Magnus. Who is this nice gentleman?" 

Alec extended his hand and grasped the mechanical extension that was Simon's hand. "Alec Lightwood, nice to meet you." 

"It's a pleasure, Alec. I'm Simon. Now, let me get you two some drinks. I take it you are a beer man, Alec." 

Simon didn't even wait for a response as he slid over to the end of the bar. Alec looked over incredulously at Magnus, unbelieving at how an android could make a guess like that. 

The surprise across Alec's features made Magnus remember his own disbelief at the same thing. "Simon has been a loyal companion during my loneliest days. Probably the most agreeable robot on this ship, miles ahead of the autodoc in the infirmary." 

Simon returned and set their drinks in front of them, a light beer for Alec and the standard tumbler of whiskey for Magnus. "Thank you, my friend. You are quite agreeable yourself, especially when you're properly dressed."

Taking a sip of the warm, amber liquid, Magnus chuckled as he watched Alec's eyes go agape, on the edge of laughter. 

"What is he talking about, Magnus? There's no figure drawing classes aboard this ship." 

"Well…during a rather uncaring period of being alone, I may have traipsed pantless and occasionally shirtless around the ship. It must have been for about a month or so."

Simon chirped up, "Seven weeks and two days, to be exact. The man certainly has no shame." 

Alec laughed heartily at Simon's quip, but the softness in his eyes was pure and clear. He peeked over the other side of the bar to look at the whole of Simon. 

"It looks like you're lacking a bit in that department yourself, Simon." 

Magnus laughed outright at the comment, joining Alec as they saw a surprised expression over Simon's features. 

"Oh dear, I laughed at the man that wore no pants, and now I'm remembering that I have no legs." 

Simon smiled at them both as they laughed loudly, the sound bouncing out of the bar and against the walls of the empty concourse. It was probably one of the loudest sounds this ship had heard. 

Their laughter subsided but Magnus's smile refused to fade. He glanced at Alec but saw that his happiness had disappeared and concern poured over his face. His eyebrows were knit together as he took a deep breath in. 

"Alexander?" 

One side of his lips perked up, but only the tiniest bit. "For a moment there, I almost forgot about the fact that my life was completely ruined." 

The words cut Magnus deeply, and it broke him even more to see the forlorn expression on Alec's face. It was as if he had spent the day climbing out of a pit of despair, but one quick realization brought him tumbling back down. 

"I'm sorry, Alexander." 

Alec was completely detached as he replied. "It's okay. I'm going to sleep, good night." He didn't look at Magnus as he walked away, and it hurt fiercely. 

Once he turned down the hallway, Magnus circled back to the bar to face Simon, who was smiling with delight at him. 

"Excellent choice, Magnus. Just right for you. Maybe you can do something to make him feel more at home." 

A light switched on immediately in Magnus's mind of something Alec had mentioned in his interview. His mind quickly crafted an idea of something that could surely brighten Alec's spirits. He downed the rest of his whiskey and sprinted through the concourse, assessing the abundance of steels objects before he found something expendable. 

Coming across a large steel chair that really served no purpose, Magnus grabbed the chunk of metal and dragged it to the room where he had kept all the tools he had come across in his time on the ship. 

For hours, he molded and whittled and shaped, tearing apart the steel into to workable pieces to create what he wanted. No matter how hard he worked, his hands didn't tire for a second. 

Every time he considered taking a break, the sadness on Alec's face flashed before his eyes and a burst of energy would flood through him. 

While the ship remained dark and Alec was surely deep in slumber in the only other inhabited room, Magnus worked into the night hours. He took a piece of steel and transformed it into a beautiful sculpture of a building, one that he was sure Alec was longing to see…

**************

Alec's mood was becoming near impossible to shake. For such a long period, he'd forgotten it all.

He forgot that his plans had been severely screwed up, he forgot that he was trapped in space for the rest of his life, he forgot that the story he dreamed of writing was ruined.

How could he forget so easily? 

_Because you have that work of art of a man by your side, trying to make you feel better._

But no matter how hard Magnus tried, Alec couldn't shake the dread living deep inside of him. It crept into his mind, especially late at night when he was trying to rest.

Alec hadn't spent much time with Magnus after his shift in mood. They sat together at breakfast with small bits of conversation but parted their ways after that. Alec spent the majority of his time writing some more. 

There was no real plot yet to the book and it was serving as more of a record of his experience. Those tended to be what Alec bred his stories out of, anyways.

However, anytime Alec would stroll around the ship during day or night, Magnus was nowhere to be found. 

He likely thought that Alec needed the space, which was true, but that didn't mean he never wanted to see Magnus again. 

That worry spiraled through his mind as Alec returned from breakfast that day, the first day without Magnus present. Alec had no clue where he could be, and he was missing him dreadfully. 

The crystal-clear image of green and gold eyes danced through his memory as he made his way back to his cabin.

As he opened his door, a glimmer of silver caught his eye. 

Alec walked further into his cabin, towards the seated area where he spent his writing time. On the table in front of it…the Chrysler building. 

Or at least, a small replicated version of it, perfectly sized to fit beside him but large enough to remind him of the grandeur of his favorite structure in Manhattan. 

A large smile took no time to come over Alec's face. How did he know? 

He walked towards the small sculpture, about a couple of feet tall. Alec let his fingers graze across the brushed metal exterior and felt the ridges towards the building's tip.

Beside the sculpture was a small folded note. Alec opened it and felt a rush of tenderness at the sight of the name at the bottom. 

_Alexander,_

_I hope this provides you with some inspiration, if not some comfort. See you soon, whenever you're ready._

_-Magnus_

Damn, how can one person be so beautifully understanding? Of all people to be alone on this ship with, for it to be someone like Magnus was practically a blessing, regardless of the situation itself. 

He was this stunning blend of power and grace. Alec could barely stutter a word out sometimes when their gazes met.

If they ever met in New York, if Alec had ever seen him on the street or in a bar or on the subway, he wondered if he would've had the courage to ask him out. 

After the constant shame his parents put on him about being gay, he cloistered himself to meaningless hookups to get the attraction he yearned for. 

But Magnus was worth way more than that. If he pursued a man like that, he definitely wouldn't want it for just a night. He could spend a lifetime looking into those eyes and inspecting every hue.

An idea flashed through him, storming in on a new wave of confidence. His parents weren't here to shame him or force him to hide who he was. 

He could do the things he's always wanted in this place, in this moment in time. No one would stop him, so he wouldn't let himself stop him either.

With a determination in his step, he bolted out of his room and maneuvered down the hallways towards where he was pretty sure Magnus's suite was. Magnus had mentioned breaking into the Vienna suite or something, so Alec made his way to the nicest wing of cabins until he found it. 

Pushing all apprehension aside, he knocked on the door three times and waited. His fingers rubbed together with anticipation as his mind prayed to get a sentence out without stumbling. 

Within moments, Magnus opened the door, looking beautiful as ever but teeming with surprise at Alec knocking at his door. 

"Alexander, is everything alright?" 

"Do you want to go on a date tonight?" 

The words spilled out of Alec's mouth fast, before he could judge their eloquence or make them come out smoother. His eagerness to spend more time with Magnus took over, and he didn't dare to stop it. 

Alec wasn't sure what reaction he expected but was relieved to see a smile slowly creep up Magnus's face, his eyes bright with happiness. Magnus moved closer until he was standing in the threshold, now about a foot away from Alec's body. Even with that small distance between them, Alec could feel the electricity surge. Being this close to Magnus was intoxicating, yet his mind felt completely clear. 

"Yes. That sounds wonderful, Alexander." Magnus's hand reached out towards Alec's chest and he gently grabbed the collar of Alec's jacket, straightening it out with the softest touch of his fingers. 

The touch was like a feather but it still ignited every nerve inside of Alec. This date was the best and worst idea he'd ever had, and he was insanely excited. 

"Good. So 7, tonight?" 

Magnus nodded and stepped back into his room as a smile perked up one side of Alec's face. "I'll meet you downstairs by the bar." 

Alec started walking away but he could feel Magnus watching him as his cheeks flared up. Before he reached the turn in the hallway, his feet stopped and turned as he remembered something else. 

"And Magnus…thank you. For the sculpture. It's so beautiful, it's just as I remember." 

As if Magnus's eyes couldn't get any brighter, they lit up beautifully at Alec's heartfelt thanks. His smile made it clear that the thanks wasn't necessary, that Magnus wanted to do it for him. It made a beautiful warmth burn through Alec's bones. 

Alec gave a small wave and kept walking back towards his cabin. 

A night with a beautiful man like Magnus. He never dreamed that his life could work out so perfectly.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEE YOU NEXT CHAPTER!! THE FLUFF AND LOVIN IS GOING TO BE DEADLY
> 
> Come say hi on [Tumblr @lasttraintowherever](http://lasttraintowherever.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7: A momentous night for Magnus and Alec aboard the Avalon.
> 
>  
> 
> CW: some mention of forced closeting and homophobia, it's not for too long but better to be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!! HIGH LEVELS OF FLUFF, FLIRTING, AND LOVIN AHEAD.
> 
> Thank you for your patience with this chapter. I was being very picky about this chapter and wanted to make sure it was done the best I could so I sincerely hope you enjoy it. I loved writing a long chapter of pure fluff with these two, it was such a joy. 
> 
> There is fluff, there is flirting, there is smut, there is nearly 10k+ words of all the Malec stuff we love and deserve in this chapter. I hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for all your continued support, it means the world to me. 
> 
> Wasabi ♥
> 
> PS- THAT MALEC TRAILER THO. 27 days left until season 3, I am so ready.  
> PSS - Issues around consent are really important to me and I think I made it abundantly clear in this since there's a lot of affirmations of consent. **PSA for the day** : Consent is a conscious, enthusiastic, ongoing YES. If you are ever uncomfortable, tell your partner and speak up.

**************

Damn it, damn it, damn it.

The shaking of Magnus's hand would not give him a break, as he wiped away the failed swipe of gold, glittery eyeliner. That was the third time he's tried to line his eyes, but he knew once he finished that, he would be closer to being ready.

Then he'd go downstairs…to meet Alexander. 

Alec was a vision when he arrived unexpectedly at Magnus's door earlier that day. There was a gentle flush to his cheeks, hair a mess but framing his face beautifully, passion blazing out of his eyes. 

Then, just when he thought it couldn't get better, Alec asked him out. Like it was the most obvious thing in the world to do. That man was making it impossible to ever refuse. He was becoming helpless to his every whim and beyond eager to succumb. 

But he knew the right thing to do was let Alec set the pace. He's a man getting to experience himself in the way that's always been inside of him, and it was happening now, in a place he never imagined. 

After spending time doing a meticulous job of his makeup, he returned to his wardrobe options. He usually was able to get dressed with ease, always paying attention to details in his outfits but having the knack of putting things together. 

Tonight, he was overthinking it and he knew it. 

He really wanted to look good, better than Alec had seen him yet. Fighting down any self-consciousness, Magnus let his hands guide him as he picked tight black trousers, a pinstripe waistcoat, and a plum patterned shirt, the top two buttons undone. He felt a wave of comforting familiarity come over him as he put on a few of his favorite necklaces. 

Finishing with his black leather boots and pinstripe jacket, he took one last look at himself in the mirror. It was nearly 7 and thought Magnus was normally one to be fashionably late, he certainly didn't want to leave Alec waiting. 

This night felt important, so he was treating it as such. 

With a deep inhale of oxygen to calm his nerves, he left his cabin and walked towards the grand concourse. The silver hallways seemed to not move past him fast enough and Magnus could feel a quickness building in his steps, matching the rattling pace of his heart. 

As the hallway ended and he was met with the openness of the ship's hub, the lights were low to represent the evening hours. 

And in the center of the large room, was Alec. 

He was just out of eyeshot of Magnus, so Magnus got to witness those small, private moments, filled with anticipation. Alec rubbed his hands together and straightened out his jacket as he shifted slightly from one foot to the other.

Magnus had gotten used to Alec's standard gray and black everyday clothes around the ship but what he was wearing now was breathtaking. Black dress pants and jacket that fit him impeccably, hugging every inch and curve of muscle. Underneath, a snug dress shirt in a dark purple color, as close to black as you could probably get, with a silver diamond pattern. The top button was undone, and Magnus felt his fingers tingle with the urge to undo one more. 

Maybe later. 

Realizing that he'd been frozen in his spot, Magnus took a few gentle steps forward before announcing his presence. 

"Good evening, Alexander." 

His voice rang out in the quiet of the ship and Alec's head whipped toward the sound, a smile blossoming across his face.

Alec's hazel eyes widened as he took in Magnus's appearance, the small licking of his lips not going undetected for a second. 

Magnus sauntered over, not slow but not fast enough either. 

"H-h-hi...Magnus. Yo-you look...fuck." Alec shook his head to try and gain some clarity, making Magnus smirk mischievously.

Alec continued, "Sorry. You look…incredible."

"Thank you, Alexander. You look quite ravishing yourself." Magnus couldn't help himself and reached out to straighten out the lapel of Alec's jacket, not that it needed tending to anyways. Magnus would take any excuse to get closer.

Alec clearly didn't mind, if the light blush on his cheeks or the bite of his lip that turned to a smile was anything to judge by. 

"So…I was thinking we could get a drink and then have dinner. Is that okay with you?" 

"Sounds perfect." 

They fell into their comfort with each other as they made their way over to the bar. Magnus could see Alec taking small glances when he thought Magnus wasn't looking and it made Magnus's pulse beat wildly. 

As they sat at the bar, a lesser distance between them than normal, Simon made his way over. 

"Good evening, you two. You both look lovely." 

Alec smiled. "Thanks Simon. We're on a date." 

"How wonderful. What can I get you two?" 

"I'll go for a dirty martini tonight, my dear Simon. Two olives with that." 

With an inquisitive look as Magnus spoke, Alec took a second to think before answering. "I think I'll have the same." 

Magnus raised his eyebrow in a happy surprise as Simon eagerly got to work. "My my, Alexander. Trying something new tonight? I haven't seen you drink anything stronger than a stout." 

He was sure that Alec would fall into his trademark blush, but he surprised Magnus by locking gazes with a new courage. 

"I'm trying a lot of new things tonight. Things I've never gotten the chance to do and I'm tired of waiting for." 

Simon set down their filled martini glasses at that moment, breaking Magnus from Alec's hazel-eyed spell for a moment. Magnus never could have imagined this strength from watching Alec's interviews. This was a beautiful spectacle that could only be witnessed in person. 

Magnus picked up his drink and held it towards Alec as Alec grabbed his as well. 

"Cheers to that, Alexander. And cheers to us." They clinked their glasses with smiling faces as they continued enjoying their time together.

**************

They went into the Italian restaurant and chose their table, one among a row of three that lined a large window, twinkling with endless celestial light. Lucky for Magnus, the width of the table wasn't too large so Magnus felt the closeness between them continue.

Magnus's palate was completely tantalized by the simple but flavorful dinner. However, the one thing that made his senses go into haywire was the delectable man across from him, a smile never fading from his face. 

"God, everything is so delicious. How could you go a year on this ship without enjoying this, Magnus?" 

Magnus chuckled at the honesty of the statement. "I'm honestly not sure. Keeping myself from indulging in the delicious treasures of the world is not my forte." 

Their words had been light through the first couple courses but as their main dishes got cleared, they carried into more substantial topics. 

"How's your writing going, Alexander? Anything interesting coming out of it?" 

They switched to a dry white wine for their meal, near the dregs of their first glass. Alec took a long sip, nearly finishing it before he responded. 

"It's…going. I'm not really sure what it might be yet, but I haven't really reached many walls, which is good." 

Magnus smirked, "Seems like you should keep going and see where you end up. That sounds exhilarating already." 

The smile on Alec's face softened, seemingly pleased that someone was so thrilled about him doing what he wanted. "Thanks, I hope so. It's pretty nice to not have anyone's voice telling me what I should write or how the things I want to write about aren't interesting enough."

His mind going back to the stories he had read long ago, Magnus recalled the warmth of his words drifting across the page. To think that anyone ever tried to deter him from writing so beautifully was unthinkable. 

"What made you want to be a writer…to tell stories?" Magnus leaned in closer on his elbows, minimizing the space between their bodies. He held his wine in his hand, swirling it around slightly as he waited for Alec. 

His eyes looked complex, like they were trying to decipher Magnus's intentions in asking such a question. Magnus tried his absolute hardest to make sure nothing more than honesty was beaming from him.

Alec noticed, his eyes abating at the sight. 

"I love reading, I have my whole life. With my dad being a famous writer, books were everywhere in our house. After reading so many stories, I knew that I wanted to be able to tell tales like that. To turn words into different worlds that people could get lost in. It became the place I hid…also where I found myself, too." 

Alec's voice trailed off as Magnus witnessed his mind ambling, clearly in remembrance of a more closed-off part of his life. 

"It's a wonderful thing for what you find peace in to also be how you make your living. Some people aren't so lucky." 

Alec grinned at that, nodding his head bashfully. "I agree, I was lucky in that sense. But sometimes, I wonder. If I had picked a different…passion or thing to follow in life, maybe my parents would have loosened up on me a bit." 

"Was it being gay they hated or something else too?" 

Alec was pensive for a moment, thinking about his words and how to describe his upbringing. Magnus remained patient, giving Alec the ability to say what he needed. 

"Having a father who was really famous for his writing, then having a child who they thought would carry on that legacy, and then that child not being exactly what they hoped for…that's kinda the whole trajectory of how it went. I grew up hearing about my dad's stories. He was a war reporter, he traveled all over the world, went on Antarctic expeditions, interviewed a couple presidents. As a kid, it was easy to decide I wanted to be like him."

Alec let his finger trace gently over the rim of his wineglass, lost in thought as he spoke about his upbringing. Magnus watched as memories bounced around his mind, fermenting and furrowing his brow.

"Bu-but…as I got older and started writing for myself, for my own sanctuary, I started to realize how different I was. How I liked to write differently and tell stories differently. It helped me come to terms with a lot about myself, especially being gay. I had achieved so much for my parents, I really thought they would understand…but they didn't." 

Alec hung his head at that, his shoulder moving upward as they filled with tension. 

Magnus was nearly desperate to provide him with some comfort. He watched as Alec's fingers twitched around his wineglass and while he was concerned about overstepping, Magnus followed the pull of his heart as he reached out and grabbed Alec's hand, stilling his fingers immediately.

Alec froze for a moment, eyes widened slightly as he felt the warmth of Magnus's hand pacify his fingers, as well as his mind. It took a moment to process what was happening before they curled gently into Magnus's tender embrace. 

Magnus felt his head get dizzy at the smile that crested over Alec's face. 

Alec continued, "They tried setting me up with so many girls, trying to 'break me of this phase I was going through'…it hurt so much that after how much I achieved, it didn't matter. Being gay ruined everything about me to them, and they forced me to keep it secret, so my dad's reputation stayed intact. I was pushed into only hooking up with guys in private and never getting to hold hands with who I wanted. Like this." 

Alec gestured at their entwined fingers, tightening his hold ever so slightly. Magnus returned the squeeze, assuring that the judgement Alec had been cast into his whole life was nowhere near them now. 

"If I may speak freely, Alexander…your parents didn't deserve a son as wonderful as you. They'll realize that someday, and they'll feel pain for how they pushed you away." 

"I'll never get to know, though. I pretty much said goodbye to them forever to come here." 

Magnus cocked his head to the side slightly, eyes inquisitive. "Do you regret that decision?" 

It was a loaded question and Magnus knew it. 

It carried the weight of Alec's dread about waking up too soon, of leaving his family behind in search of a story, of being stuck on a ship throttling through space with a stranger for the rest of his life. 

His choices led him here, but so had Magnus's desperation.

If he regretted it, if he was unhappy here, Magnus would feel even more pain for waking him up and dragging him down with him. 

There was fear roaring through his limbs, but he lifted his eyes to meet Alec's. 

Pouring out of the hazel was unmitigated confidence. A pure triumph and happiness that took Magnus utterly by surprise. There was a burning fire there, juxtaposed alongside a soothing calm. 

Fear was nowhere in sight. 

"Not at all, Magnus." 

Those four words consumed Magnus as he felt a flurry of emotions freefall inside of him. 

Of all the people he could be with right now, he'll never fully comprehend how he was fortunate enough to sit across from Alexander.

Their hands squeezed the other for a final time before untangling when their dessert was placed in front of them. As the taste of chocolate danced across their tongues and their conversation continued with ease, the air accumulated with a greater stir. 

A promise that their growing closeness was only beginning.

**************

Words and laughter were ceaseless between them.

It carried on as they licked their plates clean of dessert, and then when they decided to take a stroll through the ship with freshly filled wine glasses. 

Magnus felt unbelievably on edge the whole time. But it wasn't borne out of any kind of anxiety or concern. He felt like he was floating, like every minute of the night got better than the previous. 

Alec kept surprising him. With his words, his actions, his bashfulness, his moments of determination. He was a stunning contrast in his every move, and Magnus couldn't tear his eyes away. 

Their feet glided down the hallways, the pressures of time and expectation far from their steps. Magnus never failed to catch the prolonged glances by Alec as he spoke, his eyes searching as if they were looking for every detail. 

Even as Magnus spoke of the heartbreak in his life, the people who had torn him down, either bit by bit or in a disastrous storm, Alec never flinched in his strength alongside him. The tales and torment of his past relationships, even with the most malicious ache he had received from Camille, made Alec visibly angry that anyone could treat another human like that, particularly someone you claimed to love. 

Though he kept a comfortable space between them as they walked, Alec frequently let his hand graze Magnus's, particularly during moments that their conversation got heavier. Magnus was thankful but remained careful at crossing that line, so he embraced whatever moments of warmth he was given. 

Magnus learned about Alec's siblings that he adored his whole life, and Alec laughed at the many stories Magnus shared about Ragnor, Catarina, and Raphael. They both asked each other questions, listened carefully, and encouraged deeper topics. 

Nothing seemed off limit as they talked back and forth. All that pulsed through the air was veracity, not a fleck of doubt. 

With no recollection how, they ended up in the observatory. When it wasn't the dreaded room that revealed a harrowing fate for Magnus and Alec, it was truly an extraordinary place that consumed them with a holographic depiction of space. 

The room was surrounded with lights shining off each other, representing the celestial sky, and the men walked slowly through the room. They glanced at comets and stars that Magnus couldn't begin to name, but still admired. His eyes caught glimpse of a glowing reddish yellow star, almost looking like a fireball. It was captivating and unlike anything Magnus had ever-

"That's Arcturus. It's one of the brightest stars that can be seen from Earth, part of the Bootes constellation in the Northern Hemisphere. We should pass by it pretty closely at some point of this journey, maybe have passed it already. It's thought to be in its latest stages of life, so it should have a really bright red glow up close." 

Alec spoke with a freedom that Magnus had yet to see that night, let alone in all their time spent together. He knew exactly what he was discussing, and he shared that information with earnest, eager for his audience to share his joy. 

How can one person be some damn captivating? 

"You know quite a bit about astronomy for a writer, Alexander. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't impressed." 

Alec laughed at that, the glowing lights bouncing off his face. "I've always loved astronomy, but never really fell in love with the physics and science of it. The wonder and grandness, the things I could capture in a story and or a character…that's what I loved. Reading about how many Earth-like planets existed in the universe and the potential of so many lives living out there…if there were more people like me, hiding their truest selves. That always got to me." 

Magnus couldn't speak yet, the beauty and longing of Alec's words hung heavy in the air around them. Everything about Alexander tonight was unabashed and Magnus felt a shiver run through his spine that his presence might have something to do with it. 

He felt unafraid with Magnus. It was an extraordinary privilege to see. 

His eyes were completely taken that he almost missed when Alec spoke again.

"You must have some love of science, being an engineer." 

Magnus smiled, "Indeed, I do. I've always had somewhat of a methodical mind, so the exact nature of science always appealed to me. But I've always seen it as my way of building things, of creating new things. Of understanding how things are built and then making them different. In my opinion, it's a bit of a mix between art and science. That's why I ended up getting into architecture as well." 

Magnus let his hands drift across the stars being projected around them, as if he was trying to catch them in his hand. Alec's eyes watched their movement, completely entranced as he listened to Magnus speak. The steps he took closer, until they were about a foot away from each other, didn't go unnoticed. 

Alec let his hands mimic the same movement, his fingertips chasing the stars surrounding them. 

"I wish we could see this up close. Actually touch the stars." 

An idea snapped into existence in Magnus's mind once Alec said that, knowing there was a way to do exactly that. It was one part of the ship Magnus had yet to show Alec.

As Alec's hand still moved languidly in the air, Magnus grabbed it gently into his grip. He encircled his palm and chose to forgo the glimmer in Alec's gaze when he did, hopefully for something much better. 

Magnus hoped the excitement was present in his eyes because surely, what he was about to show Alec would blow his mind. 

"Come with me." 

Magnus began to walk and pulled Alec along with him, hand unyielding in his grasp as he led Alec to the space just off the hibernation area, to the spacewalk room where he'd witnessed space up close for the first time.

The experience was beautiful and harrowing, particularly at such a low point in his experience on the Avalon. 

But showing it to Alec? Letting him experience something he never thought possible? 

He wanted that more than anything.

"What is this?" 

"My dear Alexander, we're going to do exactly what you wanted to do: see space up close. Touch the stars, if you will." Magnus gestured to the spacesuits that lined the walls, a bright smile lighting up his face. 

Alec's eyes were wide as he glanced around, in disbelief at what could be happening. 

"Seriously? We can do that? Is it safe?" 

"Well…safe enough. I had no problems when I tried it." Magnus removed his jacket as he moved towards a spacesuit. He tossed the garment gently to the side before also removing his waistcoat and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. 

He glanced back at Alec who still seemed frozen in place, unsure of what to do. 

"Come here, Alexander. I'll help you." Alec took a few tentative steps, but it seemed his excitement got the better of him as he kept moving to the space right next to Magnus. 

Alec's hands fiddled with his own suit jacket, his fingers twitching over the lapel. 

"Do I need to take this off?" 

"It might be more comfortable underneath the suit without it but do whatever you're comfortable with." Magnus got into the bottom portion of his suit while he carefully watched Alec remove his jacket and without any hesitation, unbuttoned his collared shirt to reveal a plain white t-shirt underneath. 

The cotton fabric was tight and clung to every inch of Alec's muscles. Magnus's eyes were fixated as they followed the lines of his abdomen and the ridges across his arms until he heard Alec clearing his throat, rather pointedly. 

While he feared that he may have been busted by his own attraction, Magnus was thrilled to look up at Alec and see a knowing smirk on his features.

Magnus shook his head to regain some composure as he instructed Alec to get into his suit, making sure that all the closures and clasps were properly sealed. 

Once they were suited up and they got their helmets on, a thick layer of glass in front of both of their eyes, they walked side by side towards the doors that opened to the great expanse, Magnus with more sureness in his step than Alec. 

They reached the airlock doors, still closed tightly as Magnus helped Alec attach his tether before tending to his own. Even through the thickness of his helmet, Magnus could hear the roughness of Alec's breath, clearly at a peak of nervousness. 

Smiling at Alec with all the comfort he could, Magnus moved to the button that opened the doors and pressed it with one final look over at Alec. The doors whirred open and the lights of space exploded before their eyes. Alec's eyes were wide in disbelief, searching rapidly to look at every bit of star he could.

The galaxy around them was easily as beautiful as when Magnus did this alone, if not more, but there was no sight more magical than watching Alec's face light up, like all his dreams were coming true at once. 

"Come on, let's get closer."

"Oh. Oh, I do-don't know if we should. I don't know if it's safe. Maybe we should jus-"

"Do you trust me?" 

It was a simple phrase, just four words, but they held a heaviness to them. A meaning that was deep and implicit, one that required a trust in the strange and the unknown. Magnus hoped the risk he was currently taking would pay off. 

Magnus turned his body more towards Alec, waiting for his answer. Alec's brow was furrowed in thought, contemplating his words and the actions that would follow.

"I do. Yeah, I do. I don't know why, but I trust you. Completely."

Magnus smiled brilliantly, contagious to Alec as he mirrored it back. 

"Let's do this, then." 

Magnus held out his hand, covered by the material of his spacesuit but still enough for Alec to grasp firmly, which he did. Magnus instructed him to the button that would release his magnetic boots and after a squeeze of Alec's hand, they pressed the button together and their feet jumped off the edge of the ship.

They were weightless, their tethers attaching them to the ship and their clasped hands clinging to each other, making certain that their bodies remained close. Neither of them had any interest in being far away from each other.

Their bodies floated and were surrounded by an endless number of stars. Swirls of light and dark drifted in front of their eyes. Magnus watched as Alec's head whipped back and forth, trying to comprehend the wonders before him. 

Every bit of light that throttled around them bounced of the hues of Alec's eyes. Magnus lost his breath at the sight. It was miraculous. 

The luster in them could brighten his days forever. Magnus was thrilled he could give something so meaningful to Alec. 

Before Magnus could take a moment to look at the spectacle of space around them, Alec's face turned to him and stilled in his movement. His pupils were blown in disbelief and his face was lit up with happiness. The hand linked with Magnus's squeezed tighter as Alec chuckled lightly, nearly unable to grasp what he was experiencing. 

"Magnus…" was all Alec breathed out, shaking his head slightly to gather himself. Even through the glass of his helmet, Magnus could recognize a few tears sliding down his cheek, tears of the purest joy. 

Magnus reached his other hand to encase Alec's completely, squeezing as a sign of reassurance. He smiled at him, one that was unwavering in its care for the man across from him. 

"Thank you, Magnus." Magnus didn't need the thanks, but he let Alec give it. Every word Alec ever spoke was genuine and honest. Everything that Alec wanted to offer him, Magnus would take, without a moment of hesitation.

They continued to let their vision be consumed by the celestial wonder around them, keeping their hands tightly linked at their side. 

Even without gravity, Magnus had never felt more grounded.

**************

It could have been days, but more likely an hour, that they explored the zero gravity of space and all the masses of light that flew past them. Seemingly in sync with each other, they suggested to head back in at the same time, engaging the gravity in their boots and walking to the airlock doors that let them out.

Once inside, Magnus hit the large button to close the doors and they proceeded into the larger room with the equipment. 

The second Alec's helmet was off, his mind now able to expand his thoughts, the words poured off of his lips. 

"Wow, Magnus. I-I can't believe that we just did that. Th...there is no experience like that in the world. The stars that you see when you look at the sky at night…they were right there. Right in your face, impossible to look away." 

Every bit of brazen passion burst out of Alec as they removed their spacesuits and Alec stood there again in his pants and t-shirt. He was nearly jumping out of his skin, his smile relentless as he tried to explain the phenomena he just saw. 

Alec paced around the room, a way to wrangle his restless spirit. "That's the kind of thing I wish I could explain in words and put into a story. What I just saw, this feeling inside of me. If people could experience that or at least feel someone tell it to them, that would be…indescribable." 

Alec chuckled again, running a hand through his tousled hair, making it into a bigger mess than it was. 

Magnus had been frozen where he stood as Alec spoke, no other part of his body able to comprehend anything other than Alec's words. This moment felt so poignant for Alec, and to think that Magnus helped him achieve that…

Every risk Magnus had taken to the point, all of a sudden, was worth it. To see that look on that beautiful man's face. 

"Wh-what are you looking at, Magnus?" 

Magnus couldn't help himself to smile widely at that. What else could he possibly be looking at? 

He took a deep breath, his body swaying a bit as he did. "Oh, Alexander. I am just looking at the extraordinary man in front of me. Watching you speak so freely about your passion, your desire to share things with the world, how you feel…it's unspeakably breathtaking." 

Every word was spoken with purpose, because Magnus was so willing to let Alec know what being in his presence was like. How it sent electricity running through his vines and warmed his entire body. 

Something shifted. It was as if something crossed over Alec's vision as he took in the words. 

His eyes didn't widen in disbelief. No blush came across his cheeks. 

Magnus stayed still as he watched Alec, the fire in his hazel growing rapidly as his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. 

The sight was stunning. Magnus had to fight every urge to run towards him and wrap him in his arms. He waited. Waited to see what Alec would do, what step he wanted next. 

And then Alec moved, step by step, towards Magnus until he was directly in front of him. Their bodies were a mere inch or two apart while the air around them pulsed in anticipation. Their breaths mingled, and the heat brushed across Magnus's skin, bringing every nerve in his body to life. 

Magnus hoped he was right about what was coming, but still he waited. 

Alec's eyes were searching, navigating every inch of Magnus's face. There was passion brewing but also tenderness, as well as a layer of uncertainty. The kind that you had when you were doing something you've never done before.

With a low and gentle voice, Alec spoke, every beautiful vulnerability up-front and present. 

"Can I kiss you?" 

Fireworks exploded inside of Magnus, making him feel triumphant in every chance he's taken with Alec. 

No more waiting. 

Magnus reached his hand out, his fingers grazing Alec's cheekbone before winding to the back of his neck. At the same time, he gently pulled Alec forward and moved his head slightly up, connecting their lips at last. 

Magnus was overtaken with softness and fire. The surprised gasp that escaped Alec's lips quickly died out as he pushed his face forward, wrapping his arms one at a time around Magnus's waist. They locked into place, holding Magnus firmly and pulling their bodies to be pressed against each other, hardness against hardness. 

Their lips moved frantically, unable to get enough. The kiss got broken every few seconds because Alec couldn't contain his smile, launching back with more force each time he returned to Magnus's lips. 

Magnus lifted his other arm up, locking them both around Alec's neck to keep his lips from going anywhere. The fervor between them exploded with every touch, savoring the taste of each other. 

Alec was the first to run his tongue alone the seam of their mouths, seemingly desperate for entrance. And as ever, Magnus wouldn't dare to refuse. Their tongues collided as their bodies swayed on the spot, diminishing every inch of space between them as they kissed and kissed and kissed. 

Every bit of tension, every long glance between each other, every heated look they thought was a stolen one…it was all coming to head here. Both of them were through with waiting. 

Completely out of breath, they parted for a moment, letting in a couple inches of space between their lips. Looking into Alec's eyes, Magnus saw a glazed look that was filled with a quiet happiness. Like he couldn't believe that Magnus was actually in front of him, locked in his embrace. 

"Yes, you can kiss me Alexander." Magnus smirked slightly at Alec, moving his hands up to run through his unruly hair. 

The half-smile on Alec's face grew wider, one hand of his releasing the hold at Magnus's waist to move up to his face. His rough fingers caressed Magnus's cheek, eyes completely mystified. 

"I like this glitter you have on your eyes. It makes it even harder to look away from them." The mischievous look on Alec's face as he spoke made Magnus chuckle. 

"Quite a simple solution, Alexander. Don't look away." 

"Trust me, I won't." Alec spoke as he moved his face closer, pressing their lips together again. They kissed with a languid heat this time, making sure that every inch of lip was kissed properly. Once they separated, they untangled their bodies but kept their hands locked together as they made their way out of the spacewalk room. 

With no plan at all, they walked leisurely towards the grand concourse, while the warmth of their bodies kept them glued together. They didn't talk because neither of them felt the need. The weight of the moment they shared carried along with them and they knew that aimless chatter was not necessary. 

Magnus had a forlorn thought that the night was near its end and he was going to hate having to say good night. As the dimmed lights of the concourse appeared above them, he had a feeling they were soon to part ways. 

Magnus turned towards Alec to speak, to thank him for an unforgettable night and kiss him fiercely one more time. However, before he got the chance, he felt his body being gently pushed, Alec's hands holding him firmly as he backed him into the nearest wall. As metal pressed against his back and Alec's warm body pressed to his front, Alec's soft lips met his, far more urgent than before. 

Both of his large hands went to cradle Magnus's face, his mouth restless as he kissed Magnus with so much teeming passion, it made his knees weak. 

Magnus let his hands clutch the back of Alec's shirt, the white t-shirt that reminded Magnus that they left their removed clothing in the other room. The hardness and sculpted muscle at Magnus's fingertips made him moan lightly into Alec's mouth, making Alec chuckle before biting his lower lip lightly. 

Their kisses slow down, lips pausing bit by bit. Magnus let the oxygen return to his body for a bit, but Alec didn't move far, resting their foreheads against each other. His breath was labored, Alec's eyes only half-open as he focused on Magnus. Those hazel orbs were burning into him, emotion on full display. 

"Invite me to your cabin." 

Magnus's resolve was weak already, but it began to crumble rapidly at the strength in Alec's voice, the certainty he spoke with. 

Magnus let his fingers press a bit firmer in Alec's back muscle, trying to get the hardness to ground him but it only did the opposite. Alec was unrelenting in his eyes and his cradling hold. Magnus felt his bones disappearing as he melted into him. 

"Alexander, I don't want you to feel rushed. Tonight was wonderful, truly, but you don't need to feel any pressure to do anything."

He sighed deeply as he dipped his head for a moment, hair falling in his eyes before he lifted it again. 

"I know that. But Magnus…I had the most extraordinary time tonight. I got to take a stunning man on a date, I got to have the most mind-blowing experience and go out into space. It's the kind of thing I've dreamed about for so long, and there's only one more thing I want, _I need_ , for this to be the best night of my life." 

Alec's eyes were filled with hope, pleading that Magnus understood that this was what he yearned for. Magnus brought one hand from Alec's back and slid it up his chest, resting near his heart for a moment before moving to hold his neck, feeling the quickness of Alec's pulse beneath hot skin.

It was the same rapid pace as Magnus's heartbeat, getting harder to ignore by the second.

So, he stopped trying to.

**************

With quicker steps than before, they made their way to Magnus's suite, stopping every now and then to press the other against a wall and kiss them senselessly.

The firmness of Alec's body against his own was driving him near insane and Magnus was far too eager to get that final layer of Alec's back. 

They got to the Vienna suite, hands entwined, as Magnus led Alec up the stairs to his open bedroom. Alec followed with ease, his eyes glowing with happiness. Chills sped up Magnus's spine when he felt Alec's other hand graze gently up his back while Alec tried to get closer. 

The light of stars twinkled in the large window, on the wall far from the bed. The lights were dimmed throughout the suite, a dark glow cast over every surface. It was an intoxicating atmosphere, but not nearly as intoxicating as the way Alec was looking at him. 

They reached the edge of the bed where Magnus turned to face Alec, holding both of his hands in his own. 

"You're totally sure, right?" Magnus needed one final confirmation, to be certain that Alec was being driven by his heart right now. 

Without hesitation, Alec leaned forward and kissed Magnus firmly on the lips, putting all feeling he could into the press of their mouths. 

"Just hearing you ask me again is more proof that I am completely sure." 

Magnus kissed him back, because it was the only thing he wanted to do. The moment their mouths met, the temperature in the room rose and Magnus felt his body light on fire. 

As Magnus pulled at the hem of Alec's shirt, he murmured against Alec's lips. "You've done this before, right? You mentioned discreet relationships or something of the sort." 

Magnus was trying to focus but Alec's fingertips began to move to the buttons of Magnus's shirt, undoing the first closed one at his sternum. There was so much certainty, this surely couldn't be his first time.

"Yeah, I've done nearly everything. There's one thing…I haven't gotten to, but I have it in my sights tonight." Alec's smirk grew as he got to the last button, opening it as Magnus's shirt hung loosely at his sides.

"Hmmm, do tell Alexander." 

"Let's take our time getting there. I want to savor this." 

The honesty, the fire in his expression threw Magnus's passion into a whirlwind. He gave Alec another hard kiss while he grabbed the hem of the pesky t-shirt he's been dying to get rid of. Breaking their lips, he pulled the shirt over Alec's head and tossed it in the corner. 

Before giving him a chance to touch, Alec's hands reached to Magnus's open shirt and slid it off his shoulders. Magnus loved the feeling of the silk sliding down his arms, but he caught notice of Alec's breath quickening as he looked at Magnus. 

His large hands, slightly rough at the fingertips, grazed over Magnus's abdomen and his breath caught immediately. Those hands travelled further, touching every bit of exposed skin on Magnus that they could. Magnus felt branded at every caress and he was starting to doubt he would even survive tonight. 

Magnus wasted no time to rub his hands over every ridge of muscle on Alec, his nails digging lightly in every little spot. Alec leaned forward, kissing the skin across Magnus's clavicle and down his shoulder. 

"I never dreamed I could be with a man like you, Magnus." 

"Alexander, please tell me you've looked in the mirror recently. I do believe I'm the lucky one here." Magnus's hands danced across Alec's shoulders as he felt lips skirting his skin. His fingers squeezed the hard muscle jutting out of Alec's shoulders and Magnus moaned already at the feeling of them.

Magnus felt Alec's lips turn into a smile against his skin before he brought his face back in front of Magnus. Their noses nudged each other while Alec's large hands gripped his hips firmly. 

"It's not just that. Obviously, you're gorgeous. Anyone with eyes could see that." Alec took a quick moment to kiss the smirk off Magnus's face. "But you're also warm, accepting, thoughtful. You give me the things no man has ever given me. It's the kind of feeling I always hoped I could get, so I wouldn't be ashamed of who I was." 

Magnus felt something thick lodge in his throat as Alec's confession poured over him. Alec moved his face even closer before speaking again, words whispered against Magnus's lips.

"You, Magnus, you're like…magic." 

All breath left Magnus's lungs. The only thing he could feel was Alec's arms around him, the softness of his lips, the weight of his words. His mind grew dizzy and he was tired of trying to think. He let his body and his heart lead him forward. 

Magnus pressed his lips hard against Alec's, nibbling gently on his lower lip before kissing down his sculpted jaw. At the same time, Magnus let his hands drift south towards Alec's waistband, fingers skirting along the buckle of his belt.

His lips were near Alec's ear and Magnus whispered gently, "Can I?" 

Alec replied, voice broken and filled with lust.

"Please." 

Magnus let his fingers work, unbuckling the clasp at Alec's waist and then unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. They fell to the ground easily, leaving Alec standing in his gray boxers, hardness clear through the thin cotton. 

Magnus groaned lightly at the sight, his fingers still resting along Alec's hipbone. The noise made Alec laugh sweetly as he reached his hands down to Magnus's pants. He followed Magnus's actions, undoing the belt buckle and pants. They didn't fall down due to their tightness, so Alec tugged gently as he maneuvered them off of Magnus's legs, bending down to his knees as he did.

Once at his ankles, Alec helped Magnus step out of his pants before he pushed them aside. Alec was now eye-level with Magnus's muscular legs that led up to silky red boxers, his favorite underwear that Magnus was now mentally thanking himself for wearing based on the look in Alec's eyes. 

Fire was blazing out of them as Alec absentmindedly licked his lips, strengthening his grip on Magnus's hips. Without waiting another second, Alec hooked his fingers around the tight waistband and slowly pulled down the boxers, Magnus's breath hitching roughly as air hit his painfully hard dick. 

He stepped out of his boxers with Alec's help, Alec's hands not leaving his body for a moment. Once his attention had returned to Magnus, Alec ran his hands over the muscle of Magnus's thighs. His hungry eyes glazed over as he looked at Magnus's length, biting his lip in anticipation.

Magnus ran his hands gently through Alec's hair for comfort. He was nearly tempted to pause again, to confirm with Alec _another_ time that he was sure, but he stopped in his tracks as he watched Alec. He was driven, focused, and in control of his passion. 

Magnus was certainly not crazy enough to get in his way. 

He felt Alec's soft lips against his hip bone before they started to make a trail down Magnus's leg, from the outer thigh to the inside. The hard length of Magnus bumped against Alec's nose and Magnus let out a soft moan each time Alec moved closer. 

Alec's kisses continued, moving their way up Magnus's dick, each one sloppier than the last as he felt the heat of Magnus against his mouth. Alec came to the top and licked the head, tasting the bits of liquid already there. Magnus groaned loudly. 

With one last chuckle from Alec, he descended upon Magnus and let the warmth of his mouth engulf Magnus's hard length. Magnus felt his eyes roll to the back of his head, pleasurable chills storming all over his skin. His grip in Alec's hair tightened a bit, desperate for an anchor.

Alec was relentless, eager, and unable to take his gaze off Magnus. His lips widened to take in as much of Magnus as possible, bobbing his head at a delicious pace. His mouth was so warm and wet, Magnus slid in and out so smoothly. It made his mind spin manically. 

Alec sucked hard, filling his mouth as he locked gazes with Magnus, nearly driving him to the brink that Magnus had to stop him. The sight of this spectacular man, his mouth filled with Magnus's cock, would surely bring his downfall sooner than he wanted. 

"Alexander…wait. This will be over way too quickly if you keep that up." 

He tugged gently at Alec's hair, allowing him to release Magnus from his mouth and pulled Alec up to his face again. He wrapped his arms around Alec's neck, kissing him fiercely as he maneuvered them onto the bed, Alec's hard body underneath him. 

Once laying down, Magnus quickly rid Alec of the last piece of fabric on his body and as he threw the boxers over his shoulder, he was presented with Alexander in all his stunning glory: naked, hard, eyes beaming with affection and desire. 

Magnus was about to lower his head down to return the favor he'd just received but before he could, Alec sat up slightly and reached out for his waist, pulling Magnus on top of him and colliding their mouths once more. 

Every hard muscle and ridge of their bodies slid against each other, finding their place perfectly. The graze of skin against skin made Magnus moan in delight, heat coursing through him like he was molten. Alec was unmistakably hard and Magnus ground against him, receiving a loud, unashamed moan for his efforts. 

Magnus let his kisses trail down his neck towards Alec's chest, feeling the smattering of chest hair rub against his lips, driving him near insane. 

"Keep kissing me." 

Alec's voice perked up as Magnus looked back at him, his hazel eyes pleading and filled with lust. Magnus moved back to his lips, kissing him with all the passion he could as he let his hand drift down Alec's abdomen until it wrapped firmly around Alec's length. 

The choked gasp spilled out of Alec, followed by a low moan as Magnus pumped his hand slowly. The weight of Alec in his hand was hot and pulsing, and he paid close attention to every noise emitted by Alec as Magnus touched him. 

Alec buried his head in the crook of Magnus's neck, biting down lightly at the tender skin there as Magnus continued his ministrations. Magnus could feel Alec getting firmer by the second, his breath more labored. 

Magnus considered what Alec said before, about what he wished to do tonight, so he slowed his hand down a bit to gain some composure before guiding Alec's face to look at him. 

Alec was restless as he kept trying to kiss him, but Magnus just smiled, nudging him with his nose to pause for a moment. 

Magnus's voice was gentle as he spoke. "When you said there's something you've never tried and wanted to tonight, were you talking about…me being inside of you?" 

Alec's eyes darkened a bit, adding to their ever-present lust.

"Yes. I want it, I want it more than anything right now." 

"I've got to take some time to prepare you, okay? I want you to relax." 

Alec kissed him lightly, "I will. I've done this a couple times to myself, so it shouldn't feel too unexpected." 

After another kiss, Magnus got up from the bed to retrieve what they needed from the bathroom, returning quickly to the bed and climbing back onto Alec. They positioned themselves more comfortably, Alec spread out comfortably in the middle of the bed, legs open wide. Magnus hung at Alec's side, still eye-level while he lubed up his fingers. 

"Talk to me, okay? Tell me if you need to stop. I mean it, Alexander." 

Alec pressed his lips against Magnus's soundly, hoping to pour any response into the kiss. Alec ran his hands through his styled hair before letting them hang loosely around him. Magnus brought his wet hand between Alec's legs, finding his entrance quickly.

A gentle touch on the outside already sent Alec into a small moan, craning his neck backwards as he tightened his arm around Magnus's back. Magnus pressed soft kisses along Alec's jaw while he let one finger slip past his entrance and inside of Alec. The intrusion stole a gasp out of Alec, followed quickly by a rough moan.

As Magnus began to pump his finger in and out, stretching slowly, every move of his finger elicited gorgeous reactions from Alec, who looked completely in bliss. Magnus worked him a little more before adding another, spreading gently while pressing more kisses down Alec's neck. 

"How does it feel?" Magnus's voice was thick, small traces of concern buried beneath layers of lust. 

"So…so good." Alec locked his gaze with Magnus, looking up through his long eyelashes. Another spread of Magnus's fingers opened Alec up more, a breathy whimper teeming from his lips.

"Alexander," Magnus spoke raggedly, pressing his hard body closer to Alec as he did, "I'm not going to last tonight if I keep hearing those noises from you." 

Alec chuckled in a low tone, pressing his lips into the crook of Magnus's neck before giving another bite of the skin there. Magnus positioned the third finger alongside the two already inside Alec, wordlessly asking permission, to which Alec nodded his head in the midst of heady breaths.

Magnus's third finger joined the other two, stretching Alec further and opening him up. Magnus plunged his fingers deep but at a slow pace, one that made sure Alec felt every burst of pleasure. As he thrust his fingers in another time, the loud moan from Alec made Magnus smirk, knowing he found the spot inside of him that would make him fall apart. 

Magnus kept going for a bit longer, assuring that Alec was ready to go further. There was some beads of sweat across his forehead, his hair an absolute mess. 

He looked fucking stunning. 

Magnus withdrew his fingers, receiving an annoyed mewl from Alec when he did, and reached for the condom and bottle of lube at their side. Magnus tried to focus on his task, rolling the condom onto his length and putting on a generous amount of lube. 

It wasn't until he had a good look at his hands that he realized they were shaking ever so slightly. 

Magnus rubbed his anxious fingers together, almost in disbelief that, despite this being Alec's first time being taken, he was also extremely nervous.

Breaking him from his thoughts, Magnus felt a slightly rough hand on his cheek, thumb grazing the hard bone as Alec sat up towards him. His gaze was concerned, pleading that Magnus was okay. 

"Magnus, what is it? Do you not want to?" 

Magnus leaned into Alec's hand, nuzzling the warm skin there against his cheek. He let his own hand reach forward, fingers dancing along Alec's chest and further down to his abdomen, Alec's muscles contracting at the soft touch. 

"Of course I do. I suppose, I just feel a bit of pressure to make this truly memorable for you." 

Alec smiled, an impossibly beautiful one at that. "It's more than that already. This is all I want." 

The last hurdle of hesitation passed, Magnus decided to move forward and to stop looking back. He surged forward, pressing his lips firm against Alec as he guided his body back to lie down, resting comfortably on the plush of the bed.

Leaving his lips, Magnus placed a few stray kisses on Alec's shoulders as he positioned his body on top of Alec, lining himself up and ready to be inside of Alec. 

The wet tip pressed lightly against Alec's parted legs. Magnus balanced himself, keeping himself level with Alec's face as he guided his lower body to its destination. 

As Magnus began to slide in slowly, Alec emitted a loud gasp followed by a whimper at the new feeling. Magnus took his time, entering Alec bit by bit so he could stretch comfortably around him. Once he was all the way inside, Magnus felt his body still as a jolt of lust ran through him. 

Alec felt incredible, and that was beyond an understatement. The press of being inside of him was intoxicating. He looked into Alec's eyes, judging if he was comfortable. Magnus could see them closed tightly, their tops lined with creased brows. 

Magnus kissed the side of his face, one press of lips after the next against Alec's heated skin. "Relax, get used to the feeling." 

Magnus kept studying his face, their bodies aligned and pressed together, as Alec opened his eyes. The hazel hues were darker than Magnus had yet to see, brimming with lust, lined with a ring of fire around the iris. 

"You...you-Magnus." Alec's voice was rough and breathless, eyes desperate for more. "You feel amazing, I ca-can barely think."

The words let a beautiful burn pass through Magnus's body, jolting all the way down to his groin that was deep inside of Alec. Magnus kissed his lips soundly, letting their tongues and lips mingle. 

Magnus whispered against his lips, "You don't need to think. Just _feel_."

Responding to his passion's call, Alec caught Magnus's bottom lip between his teeth. He tugged gently, bringing Magnus's face closer before kissing him fiercely again. 

"You can move now…please." 

Before doing so, Magnus trailed his hand along the length of Alec's arm letting their hands intertwined as Alec stretched his arms near his head, grasping Magnus's fingers tightly. 

With one more kiss, Magnus started to move his hips steadily, pumping in and out of Alec, moaning low at the slickness he felt inside of him. Each time his length was engulfed in the heat of Alec, he swore he could see stars exploding in his eyes. Magnus took a chance with a longer, harder thrust than before, gauging Alec's reaction. 

The deep, drawn out moan and harsh bite of his lip was a pretty good indicator of how he was doing. Magnus kept pumping into him and earned an even louder moan from Alec, finding the bundle of nerves inside of him that drove him wild. 

"Magnus, _fuck._ You feel-" 

Magnus kissed him hard, continuing the pace of his hips as he tangled their tongues together. He kept his hands clutched with Alec's, feeling connected to the man beneath him at every point. He couldn't stop the deep moans escaping him as he plunged himself deeper. Their skin was hot with a light sheen of sweat, moving in a rhythm that felt natural and full of purpose. 

He released one of Alec's hands, bringing it to the side of Alec's face to hold him. Alec's eyelids were nearly closed, completely glazed over in passion. 

"Look at me, Alexander." 

Magnus looked hard into Alec's eyes as he opened up to him, his eyes glowing bright with admiration. The sight made Magnus keel in desire, nearly losing consciousness at how good everything felt inside of him. 

He felt the heat pooling within his gut, mounting higher and higher, preparing to burst. He moved his hand down to Alec's groin, wrapping a firm hand around Alec's length. Alec emitted a choked gasp, his free hand gripping the sheets while the other hand on Magnus’s back dug his nails into his hot skin. 

"Ohhh…. you're going to be the death of me." 

Alec's face gained some composure for a moment, quirking an eyebrow up at Magnus's words. Before another thought could pass through Magnus, Alec pressed their bodies hard together and got a firm grasp of Magnus's back as he flipped them over, groins still connected as he pressed Magnus onto the bed, depositing his knees on either side of Magnus's body. 

Alec steadied his body, Magnus still deep inside of him as Alec began to raise his body before pushing himself back on Magnus's length. Magnus's hand still gripped Alec, pumping him quickly as his body burned, looking at the beautiful man chasing his pleasure on top of him. They kept moving, a bit slower than before but with a deeper thrust each time that kept hitting the most sensitive point inside Alec. 

It didn't take much longer, both of them at the peak of pleasure, about to tip into freefall as Magnus scoot his body up a bit, thrusting into Alec a last time as he moaned, his release spilling into Alec. 

A few more pumps of Magnus's hand had Alec quickly chanting his name between moans, the last one long and heavy as he clung to Magnus's biceps, his release spilling over Magnus's hand. 

Their bodies tingled with aftershock, while their limbs lost all steadiness as they collapsed next to each other on the bed. Both of their eyes were shut, breaths fighting their way out of their lungs as Magnus stole a look at Alec. 

He was breathing heavily, his body tangled but his face was light, utterly at peace. The pinnacles of desire were rolling out of him and were replaced with a sunken comfort. 

Magnus shuffled his body a bit closer, connecting their foreheads and nudging Alec with his nose. 

"Are you okay?" Magnus inquired gently, knowing he must be wiped out. 

"I'm…fucking perfect." 

His eyes opened, and every color in them dazzled, far more beautiful than any mile of space they had seen on this voyage. Alec curled in closer to Magnus's hard body, slightly slick with sweat. 

"One second." Magnus turned and grabbed a few tissues from the nightstand, cleaning his hand and using it to remove the condom on him. He tossed it into the trashcan a bit further away, turning his body back after to lie on his side, facing Alec.

Alec hadn't moved an inch but once Magnus had returned, he quickly wrapped his strong arms around Magnus's waist, entangling their legs as their heads rested against each other. 

The closeness was a comfort, a reliability, long before they had reached this intimacy. It was now so much more. It had blossomed into this beautiful connection, easily the most intimate Magnus had ever felt. 

Being this close to Alec, feeling the rapid pulse vibrating through his bones was wonderfully overwhelming. 

"What are you thinking?" 

Alec spoke softly, threads of desire still lingering in his tone but filled with tenderness. His hold on Magnus's body was steady, making Magnus feel secure and cared for.

"Of all people I could've ended up on this ship, in this moment with, how did I get lucky enough for it to be you? You are a dream come true, Alexander." 

The shift in Alec's expression was clear. He knew something had changed, that they took so many crucial steps to becoming closer to someone, just in one night. Every touch, every emotion tonight was like an out-of-body experience. Yet, somehow, they both felt totally at home. 

And more importantly, at peace. 

Alec leaned into Magnus, kissing him soft and letting their lips move languidly together. The touch tingled through their bones, followed quickly by a wave of exhaustion. Their bodies and mind had been to the brink tonight and Magnus was eager for them to rest. 

"Good night, Alexander." 

Alec settled back in, his face a breath away from the man across from him. "Good night, Magnus."

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a new Tumblr handle dedicated to my favorite men
> 
> Come find me there [@immortalhusbandz](http://immortalhusbandz.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8: What goes up, must come down.
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: emotions and feelings resembling a panic attack)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all,
> 
> MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES for the delay with this. School took over my life in the past weeks and I had spring break so I'm so glad I had time to crank this out. There were also a lot of elements in this chapter i wanted to perfect. Your support means everything and I appreciate it so much.
> 
> I don't want to talk too much more about this chapter, so just dive in. There's a lot of emotion, good and bad, and it's a major set up for what's next. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Lots of love  
> xoxo Wasabi
> 
>  
> 
> PS- SEASON 3 IN 5 DAYS!!! GIMME DAT NEW CONTENT

**************

Their night together was bliss. Pure, unabashed bliss.

As they ate their breakfast sitting across from each other, Magnus couldn’t help but steal glances at Alexander between bites and sips. The ever-present tension in Alec’s shoulders, the one that was there even in happy moments, was completely gone. He looked beautifully relaxed, utterly at peace with where he was. 

Also, he could barely hide the smug look on his face, probably remembering how the same tongue that was currently licking his spoon clean was driving Magnus into breathy whimpers last night. 

Alec looked up at him and smiled brightly, causing Magnus to smile in response and bite his lip gently before returning to his breakfast. 

Magnus felt a soft tingle run through him. The lack of needing words was such a comfort and he couldn’t believe they were able to achieve something like that so easily, _so fast_. 

As much as Magnus loved to talk, he knew that a true bond didn’t need to fill gaps with meaningless words. It took some people years in relationships to get to that point. 

He broke from his thoughts a bit as he became aware that Alec’s gaze was still on him. Even in his peripheral, he could see it teeming with ferocity. Despite the amazing night they had together, Magnus knew he shouldn’t push him with next steps. The pace could be chosen by Alec and he was more than thrilled with that. 

Taking a sip of his coffee first, Magnus started the conversation lightly. “Alexander, I don’t think I ever finished the story from dinner about the outrageous antics in Peru that got me in some trouble. I’m quite sure I can never go back. You see, Ragnor had told me tha—”

“You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.” 

Magnus’s grip loosened as his fork nearly dropped, all focus darting to Alec in a heartbeat. The heat brewing from his hazel eyes was the most spectacular Magnus had seen. His stare was forceful, yet still maddeningly tender. 

Not done with his praise, Alec spoke again, more of a whisper that time. “It drives me fucking crazy.”

Magnus felt short of breath so suddenly as lightning shot through from the hold of their gazes. Alec was relentless, his expression not backing down.

It was painfully clear Alec had picked the pace he wanted. 

Magnus set his fork down with a clatter and wasted no time to sweep their breakfast trays off the table, flying onto the floor and making a mess of food and drink everywhere. 

He couldn’t have cared less. 

Magnus climbed onto the table and crawled towards Alexander, each inch of movement fueling his desire exponentially. Once he was in Alec’s proximity, his hand grabbed a fistful of Alec’s soft gray shirt and pulled his face forward, capturing his lips swiftly to kiss the smirk off his face. 

Clearly waiting for this moment, Alec responded quickly and with earnest. His lips opened and began their worship of Magnus’s mouth, tongue sliding in and hot breath dancing across Magnus’s face. Alec stood up and wrapped his arms around Magnus’s waist until he was dragged to the edge of the table, pressed against him. Magnus moved quickly, wrapping his arms around Alec’s neck and his legs loosely around his torso. 

His hands clutched at the mess of hair on Alec’s head, causing a groan of pleasure to come out of Alec. He reacted quickly, loosening his hold slightly to pull Magnus’s soft tunic over his head with haste. The hunger was relentless as he kissed down Magnus’s neck to his smooth chest. His tongue danced languidly along the smooth planes of muscle and his warm, tan skin. 

Breath was becoming sparse in Magnus’s lungs, the feeling of Alec’s mouth driving him mad. He lowered his hands to grip Alec’s long-sleeved shirt, fighting with the fabric for a few moments before tearing it off his body. Magnus let his nails rake across the hard muscle of his abdomen, pulling a deep moan pouring out of Alec. 

Magnus moved fast to work at Alec’s pants, happy that he was wearing cotton joggers that pulled off with ease. Magnus’s legs hung off the table and Alec moved his hands down to his thighs, gripping them firmly as he tugged Magnus closer. Magnus yelped at the show of strength that propelled his body into Alec’s, gripping the hard muscle around his arms with a moan. 

His large hands grazed near the waistband of Magnus’s pants, removing the silken lounge pants with ease. After another second, he ripped the silk boxers off of Magnus’s legs, leaving him naked and perched on the table. Magnus gripped the edge of the table firmly, eyelashes fluttering in anticipation. 

Alec kissed him soundly as they continued clutching each other’s bodies while Alec uncovered the supplies they needed from his pant pocket, sharing a knowing smirk with Magnus as he did. 

It didn’t take long for Alec to slick his fingers before they made their way inside of Magnus as he held his body close. Magnus alternated between broken breaths and chants of his name. Alec worked him over and opened him up until Magnus was nearly begging for Alec to take him. After Alec slipped on a condom, he maneuvered Magnus to lie flat on the table before climbing up on top of him, entering his body swiftly as they kissed hard and melted against each other. 

They were lost in their bliss again and unwilling to be found.

Beneath the table, the small cleaning robots whirred quietly as they cleaned up the mess made by Magnus, hiding all indication of their breakfast being flung off the table.

**************

Now THIS is a writing spot.

Alec snuggled deeper into the plush couch of the living room in Magnus’s cabin, seated directly in front of floor-to-ceiling window that exposed him to billions of stars that passed by. He was completely enamored. 

On the low table in front of him, the statue of the Chrysler building Magnus made stood tall and powerful, just as it was in real life. Every time Alec looked at it, he felt a beam of strength all through him at the sight. It aligned with the familiar affection he felt for the man who made it. 

He set up his tablet in front of him to continue writing. He had gotten a lot done in the past weeks but what he wrote recently had far more direction than his first months on the ship. Ever since that night with Magnus, something new was burning inside of him, begging to find words to explain it. 

The feeling felt like certainty, like he was fully conscious of every emotion inside of him and he embraced all of them. 

It was amazing what falling for someone so wonderful could do for you. 

He turned on the voice transcriber of his tablet and continued his story, a bunch of random blurbs that was now turning into a tale of being lost and being found. The details of characters and setting were still up in the air, but he was drawing from his own experiences, of how he thought he was lost and how he’s found so much since. 

Alec spoke into the tablet, letting the words flow out and manifest onto the page. 

As he spoke, his mind consistently drifted to Magnus and what it was like to be in his glorious presence. As his eyes caught the light dancing past him in the window, his heart felt full. 

_“This isn’t the life we planned, but it’s become our life. It’s our life to live with happiness and laughter and freedom. Freedom like I’ve never felt, the kind of freedom I always knew was possible, but now it’s mine. And for the first time in my life, I don’t feel alone._

_Magnus makes certain of that._

_We live in an accidental happiness. One neither of us expected to be in, but we are here. We are passengers and we go where fate takes us. Sometimes, I think about if I was meant to find him. If we had made it to Homestead II, would we have found each other?_

_I’m quite certain we would have._

_The pull of our hearts would have brought us together, even on a foreign planet._

_And that feeling, that sunken certainty that has given me a new home within my own bones…it makes me feel like my life isn’t over. It feels like it’s just beginning.”_

Alec paused for a moment, letting the veracity of his own words pour over him. His mind wandered to the time he’s spent with Magnus since their first night, completely infatuated with each other and consistently finding new things about the other man.

They spent their days living freely, Alec writing or reading while Magnus explored parts of the ships and did small repairs to keep himself busy. The blend between personal time and time spent together worked out seamlessly, though they both never liked being away from the other for too long. They went on runs every morning around the ship, as well as swimming in the massive pool. 

That room was quickly turning into Alec’s favorite place, with a massive fisheye window at the edge of the pool that made it feel like you were swimming through the stars. 

Alec sighed deeply, letting his peace sink in. The twinkle of light danced on the other side of the window and Alec was mesmerized until he heard the door of the suite open. Magnus walked through the threshold, gorgeous body on display in tight black pants and a green silk shirt, buttons open halfway to reveal a tantalizing amount of tan skin. His eyes were so focused on how good that skin tasted the night before that he almost didn’t realize that Magnus had one hand hidden behind his back. 

The smirk on Magnus’s face was light and mischievous as he approached Alec, leaning his body against the back of the sofa. 

“Hello darling. How’s the writing coming along?”

“Good, I’ve written some stuff I really like. Now, what are you hiding?” Alec quirked an eyebrow at him while also leaning a bit closer, getting a whiff of the sandalwood air that always surrounded him. 

Magnus smiled brightly as he leaned closer to Alec, bringing his face in front of his. He looked like he was itching to press their lips together but still held back, driving Alec crazy. 

Before Alec could lean forward, his vision burst with a flash of white, with traces of pink and yellow. A light, fragrant smell entered his space and as his eyes focused, he saw a handful of beautiful lilies in Magnus’s hand. 

“Wha…Are those real?” 

“Indeed, Alexander. I made a new discovery today, it seems there’s still more we haven’t discovered on this ship.” Magnus held out his hand, a gesture Alec quickly accepted as he got up from the couch. He maneuvered them out of the room as Alec followed Magnus down a row of corridors that looked similar to many others, but still slightly different. 

They ended up in front of two double doors, each with a small window that showed a flash of green in front of Alec’s eyes. Magnus grabbed the handle, pausing a moment to squeeze Alec’s hand with a smile before turning it open and pulling them inside. 

The fragrance of a meadow permeated quickly through his nose and his eyes were suddenly filled with the sight of flowers. 

Flowers and plants and leaves and trees. 

So many different kinds filled the room and were lined up in rows, flowering into each other in endless streams. Alec could barely process where to look, his head whipping around back and forth. 

“It’s some kind of arboretum. I think they were planning on bringing these plant species to Homestead II. It’s spectacular, isn’t it?” 

Alec had dropped his hand for a moment to touch some of the plants, feeling the soft petals of sunflowers and the rough scrape of leaves on his fingertips. He hadn’t touched something alive like this in so long, he almost forgot how enriching it could be. 

He took a deep inhale, letting the freshness and scent flow through him. It _was_ spectacular. 

Magnus’s presence was felt behind him, wrapping his muscular arms around Alec’s waist and holding him close, resting his head on Alec’s shoulder. The warmth of Magnus’s breath tickled Alec’s ear, the heat comforting him like it always did. 

Alec pressed his body into Magnus’s strong chest as he spoke. 

“You know, for two unlucky people, we got pretty lucky.” 

Magnus kept his face nuzzled into Alec’s neck and he could feel his lips turn into a smile at that statement. He felt Magnus clutch him closer, swaying them on their spot as they took in the beauty before them. 

He didn’t need to respond. Alec knew. They both knew. 

They were incredibly lucky to have each other.

**************

After another blissful dinner, they spent their evening filled with energy, in the throes of passion. Their skin glided against each other, burning Alec like a brand. Magnus took him with such a gentleness, mixed with a commanding ferocity.

He was always this maddening combination of hard and soft and it drove Alec to the brink without fail. 

Once their bodies were spent, they curled together in the aftermath on their bed, Alec resting his head on Magnus’s hard chest. The pleasure in his mind starting to drift away. 

In its place, a familiar dread began to grow. 

It came back and forth through his days, between happy times and quiet moments. 

The reality of where he was, the helplessness of how to fix this situation, the fact that the place he was in was from a terrible accident. 

No matter how elated he was moments ago, no matter how happy he was earlier today, it was always there. It was normally quiet enough to ignore, but in this moment, it returned slightly louder. 

Alec felt Magnus’s lips press against his hair as his nimble fingers stroked the hot skin around his shoulder. 

“Are you okay, Alexander?” 

It was a hard question to answer. Of course, he was okay because he was here with Magnus. But that dread lingered, and he knew it was a type of pain that Magnus had felt too. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just…” 

His voice trailed off, uncertain of how to voice his thoughts. It was a way he normally didn’t feel in Magnus’s presence. Fear tried to creep up around him and Alec’s mind worked hard to push it back out. 

Without a second wasted, Magnus spoke back, tightening his squeeze around Alec’s body as he did.

“I know.”

**************

How am I ever supposed to do anything when I’m sitting across from this enchanting human?

Magnus nearly chuckled at himself at how ridiculous he seemed, but it was true. The main thing Magnus always wanted to give his attention to, day in and day out, was Alec. He watched as his long body draped over the small couch in the lounge area they sat in. 

They were both up late reading, a beautiful quiet moment similar to many they’ve already shared. It was past midnight, a new day just cresting f you considered it in how a day on Earth would have been measured. However, the colors of the sky never set and rose in space.

Magnus was perusing through the hibernation pod manual again, trying to learn every bit he could. Alec gazed intently at the collections of Shakespeare sitting in his own lap, his brow slightly furrowed as he devoured the book. 

The discovery of the ship’s massive library and its endless supply of texts was one of his favorite findings; the look on Alec’s face as he saw the filled bookshelves the first time was an unbeatable sight. 

Magnus let his mind catalogue every subtle movement and expression of Alec’s as he read, finding something he loved in each one. Alec looked up at him a couple times and smiled, fully aware that Magnus was having difficulty controlling his gaze. 

Though staring at Alec all day would always be something Magnus would enjoy, he shifted his focus a bit to think about crafting something special for the man across from him. 

The arrival of this new day was an important reminder to Magnus: Alec’s birthday was today. 

He probably had no clue that Magnus knew but he’d noticed it about a week ago on his passenger profile. Magnus first thought a night of dinner and dancing later would entice him, but it was so…ordinary. It was too much like the many nights they’ve already shared. 

The day had literally just started so Magnus breathed a little bit of relief at having time to figure it out. Doing something truly special for Alec was a challenge he wanted to take head-on. 

His eyes nearly returned to his book as a voice on the loudspeaker cut through the quiet. 

“Attention passengers. You may wish to proceed towards a viewing area on the north or east side of the ship. The Avalon will be slingshotting around the star Arcturus of the Bootes Constellation for the next 15 minutes.”

The voice shut off and Magnus looked over at Alec, their gazes locked fiercely. Alec’s pupils were blown wide open, like he was in utter disbelief at what he just heard. Magnus smiled at him, its brilliance on full display as he threw his book aside and jumped up, reaching his hand out to Alec. 

Alec needed no additional encouragement. He grasped Magnus’s warm hand with ease as they raced towards one of the largest windows they had found on the ship, in the northern corridors near where Alec’s old suite was. As they ran, they laughed in excitement, the sound echoing and bouncing of the metal walls around them. 

When they finally made it to the room, with a window from floor to ceiling at least 20 or 30 feet tall, the universe outside had a new sight waiting for them. The dark sky and twinkling stars were the customary view to behold but now…before their eyes was a massive glowing red star, nearly the size of a planet. 

They rushed closer to the window, the intensity of its glow making their eyes grow wide. Magnus gave Alec’s hand a squeeze as he watched his face, mouth agape in wonder. 

Arcturus looked as if it was on fire, surrounded by flowing huesof red, orange and yellow. Like a giant fireball they were throttling past. 

“Arcturus. The red giant.” Alec whispered next to him before he let out a small chuckle, one that seemed to barely comprehend how he was feeling. 

Magnus smiled as he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms firmly around Alec’s waist, feeling the weight of his presence ground him. Like it always did. 

Alec responded, despite being mentally captivated. He pressed a kiss to Magnus’s temple before wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Their bodies remained impossibly close as they witnessed the celestial spectacle before them. Energy was radiating off of Alec and it made Magnus beautifully warm. 

He brought his lips closer to Alec’s ear, speaking softly. “It’s the universe’s birthday present to you.”

Alec turned his head in response. “How did you know?” 

“It was pretty simple for me to look up, Alexander. I didn’t know if you were going to tell me, but I wanted to make you aware that I knew. Happy birthday, darling.” 

Magnus turned in his hold to face him, loosening one of his arms to pull him closer by his shirt. He captured Alec’s lips in a searing kiss that teemed with fire and affection, everything he felt for Alec. 

The kiss only broke after a few moments because Alec couldn’t stop smiling. They looked into each other’s eyes as Arcturus burned brightly next to them, the reddish tones gleaming through the window and bouncing of their skin.

“Thank you. I didn’t intentionally not tell you. It’s just…I’ve never made a big deal about my birthday for most of my life. Then in this particular place, I didn’t feel inclined to make a big deal here, either.” 

“Don’t worry, my dear. I took no offense. But I would love the opportunity to make this day a memorable one for you.” 

Alec smirked at Magnus’s love for a challenge, encircling his arms around Magnus’s shoulders. 

“In fact, let’s begin with that right now.” 

Magnus pulled out of Alec’s hold gently, grabbing the arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to the window. Now just a foot or two away, Arcturus was closer to them than ever, the fire surrounding the star burning with fervor. Alec’s gaze returned to their previous captivation.

In an instant, especially because Magnus remembered the announcement mentioning they had 15 minutes of this spectacle, he pressed a hard, fiery kiss against Alec’s lips. Electricity pulsed through him, sending currents through Alec’s limbs as he grabbed at Magnus’s hips. 

Magnus disconnected their lips but kept their faces close to whisper to Alec. “Keep enjoying the show, Alexander. I’ll be taking care of something else while you do.” 

And with that, Magnus dropped to his knees, undoing Alec’s belt and pants with a lethal speed. After Alec fumbled out of them for a moment before returning to stand, Magnus brought his hands to grasp the back of Alec’s thighs firmly, letting his nails dig in slightly as Alec moaned. Just the feel of that alone caused a jolt in Alec’s dick, already getting hard. The unexpectedness of this surprise caught Alec off guard as he found himself only able to speak in breathless moans. 

Magnus gave one long tug of Alec’s length with his hand before swallowing him fully in his hot mouth. 

“Fuuuuck…Ma-Magnus.” Alec’s voice was rough and filled with lust. His body wobbled slightly as he reached one hand to lean against the window. Outside, Arcturus continued to light up the darkness with its fiery magnificence. “Shit.” 

Magnus worked him over fervently, sucking and licking as he pushed Alec’s length deep into his throat. He gazed up at Alec, the sight of his face in pure bliss so stunning. He reached his arms around to grasp his cheeks, the sensation making Alec even harder inside of Magnus’s mouth. 

Magnus could feel Alec swelling up fast, clearly in some delicious form of sensory overload. He ran his free hand through Magnus’s hair, tugging at the ends occasionally as he continued his heady chants of Magnus’s name.

But he wouldn’t stop. Magnus knew they were under a time crunch and he was determined to make Alec fall apart before they left Arcturus’s orbit. It had definitely been about 5 minutes, so he still had some more he could do.

He loosened his jaw even further to have Alec slide in and out of his mouth with ease, taking him fully. The squeeze of his ass continued as Magnus skirted his fingers over to the center of them, letting his middle finger drift toward Alec’s entrance, rubbing it gently before pushing in slightly. 

A loud shout came from above as he heard Alec sound like he was gasping for air, his hand gripping Magnus’s hair tightly as he spilled his release into Magnus’s mouth. 

As Magnus helped him through it, he gazed up to see if Alec was still watching the star outside but much to his surprise, he was met with lust-clouded hazel eyes staring down at him.

Releasing Alec’s dick from his mouth with a final lick, he gave a quick kiss to Alec’s hipbone before rising to his feet, following up with a tender kiss. Tender transformed quickly, however. Alec surged into Magnus, pressing him into the glass as he kissed him sloppily, clearly spent from the pleasure he just received. 

He paused to catch his breath, keeping his body close to Magnus’s as Magnus brushed a stray hair off of Alec’s forehead.

“So…was that a decent beginning to your birthday?”

“Decent would probably be the biggest understatement ever.” 

Magnus chuckled for a second as he felt Alec kiss him hard again, picking up his body fluidly as Magnus wrapped his legs around Alec’s waist. 

Alec clearly had plans for how to continue with the celebrations. Magnus held him close as Alec carried them to their suite, their lips never straying far from each other as they did. 

All of the fret Magnus felt about making this day great for Alec melted away with each step. Every single day, he was truly believing that Alec not only wanted him fiercely but needed him too. 

Magnus couldn’t be happier.

**************

They had spent the whole day together for Alec’s birthday, partaking in every luxury activity that the ship had to offer. They went to the spa, swimming in the pool for an ungodly amount of time, and had an incredibly lavish meal at the French restaurant. Probably a bit too fancy for Alec’s taste but he didn’t seem bothered at all.

Alec’s eyes were fixated on Magnus all evening, body clinging to him at every chance he got, whether it was a hand on his face or an arm curled around his back. They’d both had a few drinks at dinner so by the time they were leaving the restaurant, Alec was essentially wrapped around Magnus’s back, kissing along his neck as they walked slowly towards the bar in the main concourse. 

Behind the dark wooden bar was Simon, who was cleaning a glass, as ever. Alec sat into a chair with a bit of a stumble but before Magnus could sit next to him, Alec wrapped his arms back around Magnus’s waist and pulled him into his lap. 

“Nope. That chair is too far away.”

“It’s probably about 6 inches away from your chair, Alexander.” 

“6 inches too far.” Alec tucked his head on Magnus’s shoulder, making it clear that he wouldn’t let Magnus move. 

Magnus laughed heartily, snuggling deeper into Alec’s lap before turning to look at Simon, who was smiling back at them. 

“Good evening, Simon. I think we’ll have two glasses of chardonnay, and maybe a cup of water for this one.” 

Alec grunted before laughing into Magnus’s shoulder, lifting his head up to greet Simon. 

“Evening, Simon.” 

“Good evening, Alec! Let’s get you that birthday drink immediately.” 

Magnus angled his body a bit so that he was facing inwards toward Alec, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 

“Aren’t you going to ask for my ID, Simon? Maybe I’m not old enough to drink.” Alec jested at Simon, nearly incapable of containing his smile.

“Alec sir, I would never ask a gentleman’s age, particularly in front of another gentleman.” 

They all shared a laugh at that, Alec tightening his hold on Magnus’s waist as they did. 

“I don’t know how much of a gentleman Magnus is, particularly after what happened this morning.” Alec smirked wildly in a way Magnus couldn’t help but give him a peck. “Besides, there’s no secrets between me and Magnus.” 

Simon turned his head to look at Magnus, “Is that true, my friend?”

Magnus smiled and replied without a thought, “You heard the man, Simon. The sexy, irresistible man. I need to go the bathroom, excuse me for a moment.” He hopped off of Alec’s lap, kissing his cheek before he sauntered off to the bathroom, leaving Alec alone with Simon as he set two wine glasses on the bar. 

Alec took a sip of the wine, the smile failing to cease from his expression. “This is delicious, thank you.” 

Simon smiled back, “You’re very welcome, Alec. You know…I remember nights like this, just under a year ago, a smile like that on Magnus’s face. He was so looking forward to meeting you.” 

Alec’s hands froze with the wineglass in it, eyes darting up to Simon’s face as he replayed that last sentence in his head. 

“What? What are you talking about? How is that possible?” 

“He spent months trying to decide if he should wake you up. He was enamored with you and your stories. You were all he could talk about.” 

A shock of cold rushed through Alec’s body, freezing his limbs. “Magnus…woke me up?” 

Simon seemed unfazed by Alec’s shock as he continued talking. “He said it was the hardest, worst decision he ever had to make. But, I’m thrilled to see it turned out just fine. Better than fine, it seems!” 

Alec’s heart began to pound rapidly, his throat choking up as he felt oxygen escaping him. He had been on such an emotional high all day, let alone the months that had passed. 

And it was all gone now. 

The dread that creeped up on him occasionally was back, in full force. It was consuming him as he felt like every truth he felt could be a lie. 

His heart felt like it was constricting as his body froze in shock.

**************

Magnus stood in the mirror of the bathroom, fixing his hair and straightening his jacket as he took a deep breath.

The emotions running through him were in a flurry, bouncing around in all directions. Another intake of oxygen and he felt his nerves calm a bit, but not nearly as much as he needed. 

This night with Alec had been spectacular, like most of their days were, but there was something special about today. All day long, they’ve been more in tune with each other than ever. To think that Magnus was the one to turn around birthdays for Alec, to make him feel like it was a day worth celebrating and loving…

He’ll never get over how lucky he got. 

And that’s why he was telling Alec that he loved him tonight. 

He had to. It’s been at the tip of his tongue for weeks, nearly falling out in their casual conversations or in their late-night whispers between tangled limbs in bed. Magnus had been extremely adamant about Alec setting the pace because he never wanted to be one of his regrets. Their circumstance was incomprehensible at times, so every gesture of passion and care needed to be the way he desired. 

But they’ve crossed so many hurdles together. They’ve found peace and solace in each other, in a place that it seemed impossible to find it. 

However, that voice in the back of his head spoke again. It reminded him that he had to tell Alec the truth about why his pod woke up, and why he was responsible.

Every day they got closer to each other, that voice got louder and louder. He knew he must tell Alec soon. But in that moment, Magnus convinced himself that sharing his love should come first. 

With a final look in the mirror, he walked out of the bathroom and headed back to the bar. He could see Alec’s back facing him and it brought an easy smile to Magnus’s face. But as Alec turned from the sound of footsteps, the look on his face was shocked and pain-stricken. 

Before Magnus could ask what was wrong, Alec spoke, his words hanging heavy in the air. 

“Did you wake me up?” 

All happiness and love that was just coursing through Magnus was gone in an instant, replaced with an overbearing pain and guilt. 

The one Magnus knew he deserved. 

“Yes, I did.” 

Alec’s mouth fell further open, his eyes completely filled with horror. Over the past months, Magnus had fallen in love with so many renditions of those hazel eyes, but this one tore him apart. 

“How…how could you do this to me?”

“Alexander, I’m sorry. I tried so hard not to. For so long…I tried to stop myself, and I couldn’t. It’s inexcusable but it’s the truth. My desperate truth.” 

Alec stood up suddenly, his stance shaky and uneven as he began to look like his world was caving in. Magnus berated himself over and over. 

He was responsible for all of this. He had destroyed Alec’s life and kept this secret from him for so long. 

And worst of all, he’d fallen so madly in love with him before he ever got to tell him the truth. 

Alec’s hands shook as he started to move, walking towards the hall to his left. “I-I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here.”

Magnus saw how distraught he was and wanted to do something, _anything_ , to help him. He reached an arm out gently, moving slowly closer to touch him, to be sure he wasn’t overstepping.

“Alexander, wait…please let—” 

“Stay away from me.” 

Magnus dropped his hand immediately, stopping in his tracks as he looked into Alec’s eyes one more time. The confusion, the pain, the sadness was all brewing fiercely. Magnus would have done everything in the world to take it all back. 

On shaky steps, Alec stalked out of the concourse and down the hallway to Magnus’s suite. Magnus stood frozen, watching him leave while pain grew inside of him at an exponential rate.

How could he do this to a man as wonderful as Alec?

How could he be so fucking selfish? 

Once Alec’s footsteps disappeared, Magnus fell to his knees. Just when he thought he’d been found, he was completely lost again.

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorrryyyyy but angst is on the way. I also plan to comment on some of the themes of this movie in the next chapter because there's some things about survival and desperation and loneliness I really want to discuss. 
> 
> Come chat on tumblr @immortalhusbandz


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9: Alec and Magnus cope with their pain, while more problems soon come to light.
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: discussion of sadness and suicide, feelings like a panic attack at the beginning. Nothing too intense but I always want to be safe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO! ARE YOU STILL THERE? lols
> 
> Yes I'm back from the dead. I said I would come back and I am true to my word. Finals were nuts and I'm so glad to have free time again. What a beautiful thing. Also I need writing time for this because I have been in a pit of Malec sadness/angst since the 3A finale. (if you need a hug still, I'm sending you one xoxo)
> 
> The great news is that I have been reinspired for this fic after rewatching the movie! Inspiration is always a funny thing but I'm glad it's back. I've drafted all the rest of the chapter and have a couple scenes written along with this. I am happy to get this posting and finished faster than I have. I am so grateful for all your support, patience, and kind words. You have no idea how much it can keep someone going. It makes me so happy and every kudos, comment, and show of love is such a gift. Thank you so much.
> 
> PLEASE ENJOY CHAPTER 9 (some angst to pair with your existing angst) 
> 
> Love you all very much xoxo

**************

**************

The walls were caving in.

Everything around him was falling, crumbling. He tried to find something to steady himself, make him feel stable but it was useless. 

Alec stumbled over his steps, his hands shaking violently as he saw his vision getting cloudy and his mind getting more disoriented. 

He stumbled over the threshold of Magnus’s suite, even though he was uncertain if it was where he should be, but it was one of the only places he felt any safety. 

Alec dropped to his knees in the center of the room on the lower level, hands grazing the carpet gently before gripping the short strands of fabric. He screamed out into the oblivion, not expecting an answer but hoping it would take the terrible feeling out of his gut. 

How? How did he end up here? 

Magnus had betrayed him. He took his life. He ended it. 

Breaths came shorter and faster in Alec’s lungs, threatening to knock him unconscious. Oxygen was becoming harder to navigate through his body and his body fell forward onto the ground.

Alec could barely believe it. He was stuck in space forever, with a man who intentionally woke him up and ruined his life. 

A man he fell in love with and thought could love him back. 

It hurt. Every harrowing emotion seared into him so badly.

Alec’s body fell limp onto the ground, laying still as time passed. Tears streamed freely down his face, the floodgates of despair wide open as he sank further into the carpet.

**************

Time moved slower than it ever had on the ship. Magnus could feel the seconds pass, it made the loneliness even more pronounced.

The silence on the ship was deafening, every corner haunting him as traces of Alec’s presence lingered everywhere.

He deserved this. He knew it with earnest. This dread belonged to him and only him. 

Loneliness was inescapable. It was on the empty hangers where Alec’s clothing once hung in his suite. It was in the bare space in the bed next to him. It was the lack of touching the skin of another. 

The distant footsteps he heard in bends of hallways, footsteps he knew well enough to not follow. 

There was one morning when Magnus had been sitting eating breakfast, barely registering the taste of anything he was consuming. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t even hear the taps against the floor as Alec approached, emerging in front of him seemingly out of thin air. 

Magnus’s eyes focused and he saw the face he’d grown to love, more distraught than it’d ever been. There was still horror across every feature, underlaid by so much sadness. Sadness that Magnus knew he was responsible for. 

But still here he was, and Magnus was foolish to enough to have a moment of hope. 

He would do anything to get Alec to trust him again. 

“Morning, Alexander.” His voice stayed soft as he spoke, full of vulnerability but still somehow unwavering. 

The greeting cut through the air and it seemed to hypnotize Alec as his eyes widened. Before Magnus could say another word, Alec turned and rushed out of the room. 

All of the agony was still there. Alec’s beautiful face was still haunted.

Magnus’s heart broke again.

**************

After seeing Magnus that morning, Alec stayed hidden in his room for the rest of the day. No amount of hunger gave him the motivation to leave.

He doesn’t know how he successfully avoided Magnus over the past few days, but he knew seeing him was inevitable. 

And that all the pain rushing back would be inevitable, too. 

However, no matter how infuriated he was, he never stopped being in awe at Magnus’s beauty. Every inch of his face was perfect, comforting, and warm. Alec missed that face so much, and he hated himself for it. 

In the late-night hours of the ship, Alec walked around frantically. He felt like he had no control over the movement of his legs. They trekked in a direction that his mind didn’t second guess. 

With every step, his frustration grew, his anger boiled inside of him. How could someone do that? How could someone consciously take someone’s life like that, their future from them? 

And why did that person have to be this beautiful man that made his heart come to life and helped him find how to truly be?

As tides of anger crashed furiously inside of him, he turned into a lounge room with shelves of vases and other finery. Before he could rationalize, Alec started to grab items around the room and thrash them around. He grappled with glass and ceramic and threw them to the ground. Pieces flew everywhere and created dangerous piles of sharp edges. 

But Alec couldn’t stop, his mind needed to destroy something to fight the swelling pain inside of him. 

He screamed out loud in anger, in frustration, in any emotion that was begging to be released. Alec was nearly lost in his flurried haze when he caught sight of a figure in the doorway. With a large vase in his hand, he turned towards the door and saw Magnus standing there. His eyes were wide and glowing, displaying so much conflicted emotion as his jaw clenched, trying to keep his face neutral. 

The sight of him made the temperature inside Alec rise, coupled with wrath that was ever-present. Alec gripped the vase more tightly as he took two hesitant steps toward Magnus. Alec had no clue what he planned to do but his anger was driving him insane, desperate for reparation of the life he had lost. 

Magnus stood still as Alec inched closer, fire raging in his eyes. He lifted the hand with the large vase in it slightly, Magnus’s eyes widening slightly as he realized what Alec was hoping to do.

But it was what Magnus did next that made Alec stop immediately. 

The look that crossed over Magnus, a devastating mixture of guilt and hopelessness. It crested all over his features as he seemed ready to face Alec’s wrath. The muscle holding Alec’s arm up faltered and he dropped his hand immediately. 

The vase fell to the ground and broke into pieces, but with far less force than other objects in the room. 

Alec chanced a look back at Magnus’s eyes, seeing small traces of relief teeming out. Even when Alec was furious with him, he was still so damn understanding. 

It made everything so much harder. Alec let his head dropped as he pushed past Magnus and stalked out of the room quickly. 

As he raced back to his room, his hands touched his face and the realization dawned on him that he’d been crying. 

He had been crying the entire time.

**************

The blue screens in front of Magnus flickered slightly but it didn’t really concern him. He sat solemnly in the room that monitored all parts of the ship. Right now, they were focused on various perspectives of the grand concourse, showing different levels of the main hub of the ship.

And whipping past one screen to the next, was Alexander. Jogging through the corridors, seemingly out of frustration, the brow on his face furrowed deeply as he sweat. 

Magnus knew he needed to explain himself, why his mindset drove him to do something so terrible. He was also certain that Alec had no interest in listening. 

An idea sprung into his mind as he grabbed the microphone sitting in front of him, connected to the ship’s intercom. He needed Alexander to hear him, just _hear him_. He would do anything to make this right. 

His finger clicked the button to turn the microphone on before speaking, keeping his tone gentle and pleading. His eyes watched the moving mass as Alec continued to race across the screens in front of him. 

“Alexander. I know…I know there’s nothing I can say that will fix this. Nothing I can do to fix this. I lied to you and I hurt you, and I’m so sorry. I was so desperate and in so much pain before I brought you here, more than anything I’d ever felt on Earth. The loneliness hurt me and I was haunted by my fate of being alone.” 

His eyes caught sight of Alec shaking his head as he ran, unwilling to slow down. It was clear that he was hearing Magnus’s words but trying to fight with them. Everything continued to crumble inside of Magnus, but he continued.

He needed to.

“I know you may not want to hear this, but you saved my life Alexander. The night I first saw you, I was in the deepest pit of dread. I tried to end it all, all the pain and loneliness coursing through me. The loneliness I tried to run from on Earth. But then, there you were. You had the face of an angel and something unlocked inside of me, bursting through me. And before I could stop myself, I was falling for you. You are so magnificent, and you gave me so much hope, so much relief from all that pain.” 

Alec began to grunt loudly, a sound audible through the speakers in the monitor room. His movements were more frantic, as if he was trying to escape Magnus’s voice bellowing through the concourse. 

“It was selfish, I know. So unbelievably selfish. I’ll be harrowed by that forever, that I hurt you so deeply. But I never knew I would fall in love with you and how much I would need you. Then and now, I need you so badly.” 

“STOP!” 

Alec’s voice screamed through the speakers at Magnus, the force of his tone stopping his own words. There was so much agony in Alec’s voice, so much desperation and dread.

“Stop it! I don’t care, you took my life! You took my life from me, Magnus! YOU TOOK IT ALL FROM ME!” 

Even through the pixels of the video screens, Magnus could see the tears streaming down Alec’s face. They poured down over Alec’s cheekbones, gorgeous hazel eyes filled with despair. Alec ran his hands through his hair shakily, grabbing tightly at his ends for some steadiness. He looked around listlessly before running off, away from the view of all the screens, leaving Magnus with his devastation again. 

All he could think to himself was how much he deserved this. This was all his fault. 

Magnus kept his head sunk low, wallowing in his pain. His eyes were cast down, so he didn’t notice the lights of the screens blinking rapidly, the image distorting. They momentarily flashed with a red screen. 

The message read “Critical Error: Diagnostic System Fail.” It flashed for a few moments before rebooting and returning to their previous view. 

The same message appeared on screens throughout the ship, with no one around to see them.

**************

Small drops of condensation raced down the glass holding Alec’s beer, a dark stout that he hadn’t tasted in a long time. He’d been quite a fan of the dirty martinis since his first date with Magnus but drinking them now reminded him of…too much.

Alec ran his finger along the outside of the glass, his body resting against the wooden bar as he felt heaviness all through him. Simon set down the glass he was cleaning before picking up another, attention fixated on him. 

The halls of the concourse were empty as always, but the tension between him and Magnus made the desolation seem even more poignant. 

Magnus’s words from the day before rang through his mind. Alec contemplated their meaning, their emotion, their immense gravity. 

So much inside of him wanted to be angry and stay angry forever. His brain focused on the intent on how unethical Magnus’s actions were.

But his heart. His damn heart. 

The pain in Magnus’s plea cut through his veins. Alec had no idea what he would do in a situation like that, what insane acts his desperation could push him towards. It’s the kind of perspective you’d never truly know unless you experience it yourseld. 

Alec sighed deeply before he took a long sip of his beer. “I envy you, Simon.” 

“And why is that, Alec?” 

“You have a purpose, a meaning for why you’re here. It gives you a lightness, a happiness. A happiness that can never die.” 

The edges of Simon’s mechanical smile perked up lightly. “How’s your writing coming along, my friend?” 

Alec took another sip. “I’ve had a lot to think about these days, and in turn, a lot to write about. I think it’s some of the best stuff I’ve ever written. Everything is so raw and gritty, but still soft somehow. Heartbreak is a pretty miraculous tool for writing. I..I’m not even sure why I’m writing it anymore, no one will ever read it.” 

“I’m sure Magnus would love to read it, Alec.” 

“Simon…I’m so angry still. I can’t be near him.” 

“You know time can heal all wounds.” 

“This wound is pretty big, though. This is the wound of falling in love and having it all ripped out from underneath you.” 

Alec picked up his beer and downed the rest of it in one gulp. He slammed the empty glass with more force than he intended, a reflection of the unsteadiness brewing inside of him. 

“My heart was fuller than it had ever been, and now it’s gone.” 

Simon was relentless. “It’ll come back, my friend.”

He rose up from the bar with a nod to Simon before turning away. Alec took a few steps before pausing in his tracks, immediately noticing the body not far from him. 

Magnus was there, frozen in place and eyes wide with hesitation. Alec tried so hard to not let his mind linger about the smooth skin he could see, and how his fingers twitched in their longing to touch it. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll come back later.” 

Alec’s mind snapped back to attention, raising his hand to Magnus. “It’s fine, I’m leaving.” He grumbled the words out as he turned quickly away and continued toward his suite. 

He thought he might have heard Magnus call his name once more. Softly, almost like a whisper. The way it sounded when their bodies were curled into each other, tangled in soft sheets. 

But Alec ignored it. He chose to, no matter how his heart still ached. 

He stalked quickly back to his room and took solace in the four walls that had become part of his comfort. He needed this place of his own after removing all his things from Magnus’s suite. 

The small couch by the window called to him, the plush cushions welcoming him with their softness. He sat down with his tablet, initially with the intention to do some more writing. 

But his fingers on the screen drifted to his storage file of pictures and videos. He remembered sending all the files he could to the Homestead Company before he left Earth, so it could all be inputted into any computers he used on the ship. 

There was a certain set of videos he was looking for, ones that some very important people made for him and told him to keep close whenever he needed a reminder. 

A piece of his home. 

He found one video with Izzy’s smiling face paused, and he pressed play. 

Izzy’s image started moving, speaking to him with her living room around her. Her face was bright with a smile, her long black hair pulled back into a ponytail. 

_“Hi, big brother. You haven’t even left yet, and I miss you already. I’m making this so you can watch it when you feel lonely or unsure. I never want you to feel like that but we both know that those feelings can find us._

_By the time you get to watch this, I will be gone. You will be far into the future, miles away in space. It’s almost impossible to imagine, but you’re doing it! You’re doing the impossible. You’re going to a new world, a world that I know will embrace you the way you’re meant to be embraced.”_

Alec could see her eyes begin to water as she gave a shaky sigh, a few tears escaping down her cheeks. She wiped them away quickly, a habit of hers whenever her emotions welled up. The familiarity made Alec smile, his heart swelling with love for his sister. 

_“This world wasn’t fair to you. It expected too much of you and didn’t let you flourish as who you were. I have so much hope for what you’ll find on Homestead II. You’re going out into the endless universe and you deserve it all, big brother. You’ve been my hero my whole life, and I’ve had to watch you live in the shadow of mom and dad, getting all their pressure and ire when you weren’t who they wanted. I’m sorry I didn’t do more. I know I told them off so many times about it, but I should’ve made them listen.”_

Alec shook his head at that comment, whispering to himself. “No Iz, you did everything you could. It’s not your fault at all.” 

_“This is my wish for you, Alec. I hope you find a man who loves you fiercely, without fear or worry of what anyone thinks. Who looks at you like the spectacular person you are. I hope you let him into your heart, into all the dark corners that you’re scared no one will want to see. I know you will find the one who shows you how beautiful all your vulnerabilities are. And I hope you realize that you don’t have to live by anyone’s expectations. That you don’t have to do things for the notoriety or approval. I know this is what you’ve always wanted. You have that chance now, do whatever you want. Write whatever you want. Love whoever you want. I know that your new life will open its arms to you. I love you so much, Alec. Bye.”_

The video ended, and Alec let the tablet drop onto the couch. He wrapped himself in his own arms, tears pouring down as he let his sister’s words wash over him. 

She always got it, always got him. She hated how her parent’s expectations repressed who he really was and who he wanted to become. When he told her he was gay, the knowing look on her face brought him so much peace. 

It was clear she had no intention of loving him any less. She wouldn’t even think of it. 

Alec promised himself to fight for the life he wanted, for the truth he wanted to live. He let his tears fall without abandon, knowing that his sister would be so proud of the risks he took so far, especially with Magnus. 

In desperate need for some movement, Alec got up from the couch and left his room, walking along the third floor towards the grand concourse. When the walls opened up to the large expanse, he leaned against the railing and let his eyes adjust to the dimmed nighttime lights. 

Alec glanced around casually, not expecting to see anything and was surprised to see Magnus on the ground floor. He was kneeling, crouched over on the ground, his hand moving meticulously. 

And he was surrounded. Sitting in the center of some kind of design or grid drawing. It extended to about 3 feet around him at all angles. He couldn’t read what any of it said from so far away, but he let himself be mesmerized by how he worked. 

So purposeful, every movement motivated by thought and precision. 

Against all the anger inside of him still, Alec let himself be captivated. 

As he kept his gaze fixed, Magnus stood from his spot, dusting off his pants as he gazed at the drawing beneath him. Maybe he felt Alec’s stare on him, or maybe the universe willed it somehow, but Magnus lifted his eyes and caught sight of Alec watching him. 

The first instinct inside Alec told him to flee, the way he had nearly every time he’d seen Magnus recently. But something kept him glued to his spot, eyes staring down. 

It was a gesture Magnus recognized, no matter how small it was. Magnus took it gratefully, a small smile cresting up towards Alec as he nodded his head slightly. 

Alec watched as Magnus walked off before he moved as well, heading back to his suite to go to sleep. 

He tucked underneath the covers, feeling a bit more relaxed than he had in days. As he drifted towards sleep, Izzy’s words swirled through his mind, comforting him and pushing the dread away with all the strength they could.

**************

As the bright lights of morning cascaded around the concourse, Magnus walked with energy in his step towards the bar. His black pants and Henley shirt were covered in soot and dirt, an indication of how he had been spending his evening.

But it wasn’t the feeling of a job well done that bettered his mood. That one look last night from Alexander, knowing that he didn’t run away this time…it renewed him. 

It was indescribable how a few seconds of a glance could be so powerful. Then again, it was Alec. It seemed that new feelings were still so possible with him. 

“Good morning, my dear Simon.” Simon’s mechanical body whirred over to him as Magnus took a seat at the center of the bar. “One cup of coffee, please.” 

Simon produced the steaming mug quickly while also gazing at Magnus’s disheveled appearance. “Magnus, are you soiling my clean barstools?” 

The comment made Magnus chuckle, the most honest laugh he’d enjoyed in a long time. “I’m an engineer, my friend. If you want to make something, you need to get your hands dirty.” 

Simon smiled at that, leaning forward. “Very interesting. What have you been making?” 

Magnus took a sip of his coffee, letting the warm liquid course through him and wake him up. A knowing smile crept over his face. 

“Just some improvements.” 

He didn’t get to see the fruits of his labor until later though, when he was heading to get some dinner. Magnus was walking leisurely until he nearly reached the end of the hallway to the grand concourse. When he caught sight of who was already there, he stopped. 

He stopped and watched.

Alec was moving slowly, standing in the center of the large room. His eyes were wide, mesmerized. The smile on his lips was light, slightly crooked but still there. 

Magnus had worked a few days on this, building all the pieces in private and then working all night yesterday to put it in place. 

And now, there it was. In the middle of the concourse stood three flowering fig trees. Their leaves were large, green, and fragrant, all in a medley of shapes. They had strong branches and stumps, and they sat perfectly in the planters Magnus designed for them. The temperature in the concourse was perfect for them to flourish, and he really hoped this addition would be a welcome one.

Judging by the blissed look on Alec’s face, all his hard work was well worth it. 

Alec moved slowly, lifting his hands to let his fingers brush lightly against the leaves, feeling their smoothness between his fingers. He smiled to himself as he saw Alec inhale deeply, taking in the gentle fragrance of wood and leaves. 

His face looked more peaceful than Magnus had seen in so long. Too long. 

Even if he was still in pain, still angry, still unwilling to forgive, Magnus was happy he could give him this.

**************

Another quiet morning began on the Avalon, light teeming across the chrome surfaces and the sound of small machines whirring through the corridors.

Magnus sat on the couch in his suite, reading through some technical guides as he sipped on his coffee, basking in a small bit of peace. On his way to the cafeteria for breakfast, Alec walked past the flowering trees again, breathing in deeply to take in their scent and letting a small smile warm his face. 

As he pressed the buttons to get his breakfast, the area where he normally received his tray of food opened but instead, a powerful blast of food and liquid poured out of the machine, covering the floor around Alec. 

As Magnus sat in his room, the lights began to flicker rapidly, a sizzling sound growing louder as they did. He stood and looked around, senses on high alert. The flickering stopped and replaced with red lights flashing, causing his concern to grow. 

The red lights flashed in the cafeteria too, causing Alec’s eyes to widen in fear as his mind went to the worst about what could be happening. 

Red kept flashing brightly as a mechanized voice spoke, “Diagnostics failure; system rebooting.” 

Magnus left his room and started throttling down the hallways toward the grand concourse. The red lights were bright and blinding, but he ran with a focus as he attempted to find Alec. 

And then it stopped. Clicking noises fell into place and the red faded back in the usual white lights, the usual whirring sound returning. 

Magnus slowed to a stop, looking up and around him, trying to comprehend what just happened. He’d seen the little failures occurring around the ship. Some seemed routine, but others were more concerning, and seemed to becoming more severe. 

As they both tried to gather themselves after the malfunction, they heard the intercom turn on again and a new voice, deep and authoritative spilled out over the speakers. 

“This is Lieutenant Captain Luke Garroway. Why the hell are there trees in the middle of my ship?”

**************

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SAY HI ON TUMBLR, I LOVE FRIENDS [@immortalhusbandz](http://immortalhusbandz.tumblr.com)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10: Problems with the Avalon grow, causing Magnus and Alec to inevitably find their way towards each other. 
> 
>  
> 
> (CW: heavy discussions about Magnus's decisions. I'm not sure if you need to have a CW for it but better to be safe.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO LOVELY PEOPLE! 
> 
> Here is chapter 10 for you!! I'm so happy to deliver this more promptly than I did in the past. Again, so much love to all of you for your patience and sticking with me. It means the world to me. 
> 
> PLEASE ENJOY!! And happy June! xo

**************

**************

The sound of the deep, foreign voice reverberated through the halls Magnus stood in, the echo still ringing in his mind. His mind snapped to attention a second before his body and he ran as fast as he could to the grand concourse.

He hoped Alec would be there too. Magnus needed to know if he was okay. 

After throttling down silver hallways, Magnus emerged into the large expanse, the flowering trees he planted in view. Standing among them, his back facing towards Magnus, was a person. 

A person he had never seen before. Surely, the owner of the voice he had just heard.

He quickened his step to walk up to the stranger. He was wearing a navy suit that look as if it belonged to a member of the flight crew, with its rigid structure and gray piping along the edges. The man had dark skin and his hair was cut very short, his muscular body holding his frame in a commanding pose. 

As he came into the man’s view, he saw dark green eyes perplexed at the sight before him. Before Magnus could utter a word, quick footsteps approached as Alec descended onto the concourse, eyes blown wide at the sight of a new person on the ship. 

The relief at seeing Alec okay after the malfunction carried through Magnus’s body, and he could only hope his eyes conveyed the concern and care for Alec’s well-being.

The man’s head turned towards Magnus, locking him in a fierce, inquisitive gaze. His finger raised slowly to gesture towards the trees. 

“Who did that?” 

The tone of his voice was deep, but not in a frightening way. It was the voice of a leader, of someone who wasn’t afraid of taking charge. 

Magnus spoke up, “I did.” 

The man dropped his hand, turning his body steadily towards Magnus. 

“Who are you?”

“Magnus Bane.”

They both glanced over at where Alec is standing, slightly on the outskirts.

“Alec Lightwood.” 

“I’m Lieutenant Captain Luke Garroway. Are you the only two awake?” 

Alec started to move closer beside him and Magnus does his best to not revel in how good the proximity feels. 

Magnus spoke again for the both of them. “Just the two of us.” 

“Do you know how far along the journey is?” 

“There’s still 88 years to go, I’ve been awake for 2.” 

A flash of realization came across Luke’s eyes as he processes the information Magnus gives him. Emotions and understandings swirled around, but fear was clearly one of them. It worked its way up to Luke’s eyebrows, furrowing them down in a hard line. 

Luke’s next words came out softly. “Hibernation failure.” 

His body went rigid as realization dawns on him further. He motioned his hand at Magnus and Alec, telling them to follow as he began to walk briskly down the hallway towards the bridge. 

Magnus looked quickly to his side at Alec, thankful that he has an ally, despite the anger that Alec surely holds towards him. The second of a shared gaze, a brief dip into his favorite hues of hazel, and Magnus feels a little steadier.

They followed with hurried steps behind Luke, listening to his calculating thoughts spoken out loud. 

“They said this couldn’t happen. 3 people and 3 pod failures. How the hell could this happen?” 

They arrived at the bridge, with its massive steel door that had been an impenetrable nemesis to both Magnus and Alec. The key to their fate potentially hidden behind the walls. Luke swiped his wristband at the controls on the side, causing the doors to whir open automatically. 

Magnus let out a choked laugh, slightly indignantly. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve tried to get through that door. I feel almost triumphant.” 

Luke let out a chuckle, one that was dry and short. “Don’t feel too triumphant yet. We need to get a handle on what’s happening.” 

The three of them walked over the threshold and faced the impressive display of the command bridge. Along with the pods of the flight crew, there were tables of controls and screens, blinking and displaying various vantage points. 

“Alright, now that you’re inside here, please don’t touch anything.” 

Magnus was captivated as he looked around that he was taken off guard when he heard Alec’s voice perk up. 

“This is where you’re meant to work?” 

Luke turned towards him, their eye levels equal because of their height. “Yes, I’m Lieutenant Captain. Myself and the Deck Captain are directly under the head captain for the ship. We all share responsibilities for ops, navigation, communication, you know.” 

As Magnus listened idly to Luke, he couldn’t resist the temptation to touch a screen. The screen beeped loudly back at him, a robotic voice exclaiming, “Unauthorized personnel.” 

He feebly looked up at Luke and Alec, the harsh gaze from Luke striking him fiercely. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry, I won’t do that again.” Magnus moved to the table of controls and screens at the center of room, where Alec and Luke already stood. 

Both he and Alec watched as Luke tapped buttons and messages on screens with a guided purpose. 

Luke took a deep breath before he spoke, his voice low and durable. 

“The ship is still on course, that hasn’t changed. But there’s clearly something wrong with the ship with the pod failures. We just need to figure out what.” 

He spoke with such a methodological tone, Magnus truly admired it. Even if the content of his words held their deplorable faith. Luke’s fingers tapped a couple more times, causing an alert to pop up. 

“Hm. Interesting. We should have diagnostics data from all parts of the ship but it’s showing nothing. We’ll need to check them manually.” 

A loud crash disrupted them as a cleaning robot on the side of the room propelled itself into the wall, causing sparks and pieces of metal to go flying. 

“That’s been happening a lot. I’ve been trying to fix them, but it seems to be so consistent.” 

Luke looked at Magnus firmly, “How many, would you say?” 

“Fifteen.” 

Alec spoke up again. “The breakfast bar went crazy this morning, too. It sprayed food and drink everywhere.” 

Magnus continued, “And lights were breaking down too.” 

“Also, last week. My door broke. I was stuck in my cabin for almost two days.” 

Those words cut through Magnus as his head whipped towards Alec, eyes blazed with disbelief. 

“You were?” Concern was pouring out of his expression as Alec looked back at him, his eyes fighting with a softness that Magnus craved so badly. 

Luke shook his head in a show of frustration. “Things like this shouldn’t be happening, not on this ship. We need to get this diagnostics data fast.” 

Luke grabbed two tablets connected to the computer and handed them Alec and Magnus, instructing how to go to the 10 tech stations in the different wings of the ship and put the data on their devices. Both Magnus and Alec bolted out of the room while Luke announced he would head to the hibernation pods to study them. 

After running around in the north and east wings, Magnus gathered information quickly before he headed to the hibernation room. As he entered, Luke was hunched over Magnus’s old pod. 

The location of the pod was something he could never forget. 

He moved closer to Luke as he fiddled with the pod. Just as Magnus was about to speak up, Luke groaned in pain and clutched his ribs. Magnus rushed over to put a steadying hand on his back. 

“Luke, are you okay?”

He straightened out the pained look on his face, taking quick breaths to gain some composure. 

“Just a hangover from hibernation.” 

Magnus smiled slightly at that, knowing exactly the bodily impact hibernation could bring someone. 

“So, I’ve checked our pods. The issues with yours was pretty simple. The clock chip burnt out and made it wake up early. Mine is a bit more complex, unfortunately. All the systems controlling my body processes failed at once. It probably explains a lot about why I’m feeling so terrible.” 

Luke took another deep breath, which Magnus initially thought was from his lack of wellness, but he followed Luke’s gaze towards Alec’s pod. 

His voice was much lower when he spoke again. “Now…Alec’s pod.” 

He turned his head back towards Magnus, regarding him carefully. 

“You did that.” 

The weight of those words fell onto his body, making him feel like he was sinking. There were traces of judgement in Luke’s tone, and it was all judgement that Magnus deserved. That he brought upon himself. 

“Yes, I did.” 

“At first, I thought how lucky you two young men could have been to have each other, in the midst of this terrible situation. But it wasn’t luck at all.” 

Magnus looked down at his feet, not able to hold the intensity of Luke’s stare. 

“How long were you alone, Magnus?” 

His eyes still fixed on the ground, Magnus was relieved to hear a shallow understanding in Luke’s voice. 

“One year. It’s no excuse though, I did something terrible.” 

“Does Alec know?” 

“Yes.” 

Magnus felt an urge to lift his eyes, and he was grateful once he did. There was a bit more affection in Luke’s gaze, the kind you would expect from a sage figure who understood your struggle. 

“Did you know what it was like to be alone on Earth?” 

The question took Magnus by surprise. It was honest and searing, the answer destined to be a testament to Magnus’s choices on the ship. 

“I’ve been excruciatingly lonely in my life. I hoped I would find the remedy on this voyage, but then…everything fell apart. I was so desperate, and more alone than I ever was. I…Alec saved me. And I overstepped my power and personal ethics to make myself feel less alone. To let myself be captivated by a man I would’ve made a beeline for on Earth. Or on Homestead II. I can’t take back what I did, I wish I could. I wish I never hurt Alec like this, he deserves so much more. But regardless of all that, the bliss we shared will be revered in my heart forever.” 

Magnus let those last words spill out calmly, because they all held a truth that he would always be careful with. His love for Alec, the extraordinary devotion that had been cultivated for such a remarkable man…

That would live inside of him forever. 

Luke met his eyes firmly, reading the emotions that flitted across his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what words to use. So, he just nodded, a small gesture of understanding. 

“Do me a favor and get the diagnostics from the monitoring room in the concourse. Then meet me back on the bridge.”

**************

Alec jogged briskly, air whipping past his face as he returned from the west wing and back to the bridge. The data collection had been simple enough and he wanted to make sure Luke got the information as quickly as possible.

As he walked through the open door of the bridge, he saw Luke standing at the main control desk. He already felt a little bit of relief, which he felt the moment Luke introduced his presence. Having someone who was aware of confidential details of the ship, things that have been hidden from him and Magnus for so long, gave him a short reprieve. 

Even if it would soon reveal their imminent doom. 

Luke greeted him casually and plugged in the tablet to the computer, inputting all the data that was soon reflected on the screens. 

“Damn. System shutdowns, all over the ship. But there looks like no apparent connection. I still can’t determine what made those pods shut down.” 

A bolt of recognition shot through Alec. 

“You saw the pods?” 

Luke kept his face forward, tapping on the screen. “Yes. I saw.” 

“So, you know what Magnus di-did to me.” He hated that his voice stumbled, the emotion of this whole scenario still robbing him off composure. 

Luke sighed. “This really isn’t my—” 

“He took my life from me, Luke! It’s practically murder. He made a decision he had no right to make.” 

Alec’s body shook when he spoke as the nature of their predicament made anger seethe through him. But surprisingly, it faded. Faster than it had in previous days. Alec had been hellbent on anger when he initially found out, but the loneliness….

The loneliness was so much harder to deal with. Being alone, surrounded by metal walls and robots, without the companionship and ease of Magnus with him was excruciating. He wanted to hate himself for feeling like that. 

But somehow, he was getting tired of fighting with himself. The anger was still there but it was steadily dissipating. 

Luke turned to face him, his frame and vision aligned with Alec’s. He rested a gentle hand on Alec’s shoulder, bringing an immediate wave of calm. A gentle, barely-there touch but still noticeable. 

“You’re right, Alec. He had no right. But the drowning man will always try to drag someone down with him. It might not seem just, but the man is drowning. It’s the kind of scenario that’s hard to judge. You’ll never truly understand what you would do in that situation, what kind of things your desperation would push you towards. The guilt he said he feels will surely haunt him forever.” 

The gaze they shared was intense, speaking words without a single sentence. Luke’s reasoning swirled through Alec’s mind, making him fully comprehend the anguish that Magnus was pushed to make such a decision. One that he probably hated himself for. 

Footsteps came running towards the room as Magnus emerged, holding a tablet. 

“Got the last one,” Magnus spoke when he reached them and handed the tablet to Luke, while feebly making quick eye contact with Alec. 

As Luke installed the tablet back into the computer, his motions were interrupted with a violent cough. It was gravelly and rough, clearly filled with pain. Magnus rushed to his back, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you alright, Luke?” 

“M’good. I should probably get some rest. Only a few hours though, we need to get back at it soon.” 

With a nod at both of them and a clenched jaw, Luke walked out of the bridge, leaving Alec alone with Magnus. 

Alec chanced a glance at Magnus, praying that he wouldn’t fall victim his green and gold. But the moment he looked at him, he knew that it was a bad idea. Magnus looked eager to speak up, to break the excruciating silence. 

But Alec didn’t let him, he couldn’t do it yet. The pain still lingered. 

Just as Alec saw words bubbling on Magnus’s lips, Alec spoke. “I’m going for a swim.” 

The sentence was succinct. A statement that was purely informational, no warmth and no emotion. With that, Alec rushed out of the bridge and left Magnus by himself.

He tried hard to not let that thought sting.

**************

That look in Alec’s eyes. It was all Magnus could think about.

While the ship remained in the sleepy silence of nighttime, with Luke resting somewhere before they continued problem-solving, Magnus strolled through the corridors with no destination in mind. 

And in the quiet hours, it was without fail that his mind drifted towards Alec. 

He seemed less guarded today, probably relieved by the presence of another human, particularly one that was very reliable. But that unguardedness spilled over into his interaction with Magnus. 

Even though they were little victories, Magnus accepted every glance, every closeness with open arms. 

His feet trudged along the corridors, his loafers scraping against metal as Magnus glanced around at the passing hallways. The quiet was something that used to torment him, but after the whirlwind of events today, it was peaceful. Somber, but still peaceful. 

And then through the silence, a loud beeping sound awoke. 

The mechanic voice spoke out, “System Malfunction. System Malfunction.” 

Before Magnus could really comprehend the fear running through him, he felt weightless and his feet were being lifted off the ground. 

“Gravity loss in progress. Please standby for system reboot.” 

Magnus’s pupils were blown wide in shock, watching as his body rose off the ground with all random pieces of furniture around him. He grasped onto whatever part of the wall he could and tried to move. 

And then a realization dawned on him: Alec.

He fought with the weightlessness that didn’t let him run towards the pool, but he grasped whatever was stable around him. His fingers clutched hard, knuckles turning white as he traversed the wall in the hallway, moving in the direction of the pool. 

Red lights flashed in the hallways as he made it to the doorway of the aquatics room, indicating that a system reboot was in place. But Magnus had no clue how long it would take and how long they’d be in zero gravity. 

When he entered the room, clutching on to the doorframe with his dear life, his worst suspicion was realized. All the water in the pool was floating as a blob in the air and stuck in the middle of it, fighting his way to oxygen, was Alexander.

Magnus knew that if he let go of something stable, he could be stuck in a situation of being submerged in the water and unable to save Alec. 

The amorphous body of water kept moving, and Magnus could see Alec struggling fervently inside of it, swimming desperately to an opening when he caught sight of Magnus. His eyes cried a desperate call for help and the fire inside of Magnus lit fiercely. 

He would stop at nothing to get him out. 

A plan began to form as he saw a hose coiled up on the wall, not too far from where he was holding on to the doorframe. He moved his way carefully to the hose, unfurling it from its coil so it had some length that he could grab onto. It wasn’t a hard surface, but it would hopefully give him some leverage. 

Magnus moved quickly, traversing himself along the length of the hose towards the edge of the water floating in the air. Alec was so close to the edge, his fingertips nearly out of the water. Magnus kept one hand gripping the hose as he reached his other out, submerging beneath the floating water as he felt the graze of wet skin on his hand. Alec lunged forward as best as he could, and his fingers grasped Magnus’s hand tightly, holding onto him as his lifeline. 

Magnus tugged on the hose attached to the wall, attempting to pull them further out of the water. Their hands clutched each other tightly as Magnus tried to will all the strength in his body towards his fingers. As he glanced at Alec’s face, he could see his eyes closing gently, the lack of oxygen taking its toll. The sight only pushed Magnus further, fighting their way to safety. 

“System reboot complete.” 

The voice bounced off the walls and the lights stopped flickering. Then in an instant, all the water spiraling around them dropped back into the pool, their bodies dropping with it. Magnus fell hard onto the ground, just at the edge of the pool. With their hands still linked, Alec fell into the pool with the tumultuous water, kicking his way to the surface rapidly and gasping for air as he reached the top. 

Magnus tugged on his arm fiercely, pulling him out of the pool and patting on Alec’s back as he roughly coughed water out of his lungs. He stayed hunched over on his knees, hands gripping the solid floor in exasperation. Magnus took a risk and placed a hand on his back, his fingers gently tracing Alec’s spine as a gesture of comfort. 

He was relieved that Alec didn’t recoil from his touch. His face turned towards Magnus, hazel eyes watering and cheeks red. 

“Are you okay, Alexander?” 

His fingers on Alec’s back moved back and forth gently, assuring Alec that he had someone to lean on in that moment. 

Alec nodded at him as he breathed in deeply, savoring the oxygen that filled his lungs. 

“Thank you.” 

The tiny half-smile that perked up half of Alec’s face, even though it lasted for a mere second, was a victory. Magnus helped Alec to his feet, disconnecting their hands as they straightened their bodies. 

“We need to find Luke.”

**************

Magnus was running again, this time with Alec at his side as they raced near the bridge where Luke’s cabin was. The urgency was more heightened that before.

As they turned the corner towards the entrance to the bridge, they saw Luke approaching them at a quickened pace. He locked with their flurried gazes as they barreled towards each other. 

Magnus spoke out, “Did you feel the loss of gravity, Luke?” 

“Yes, it woke me up.” Luke entered the bridge, Magnus and Alec quick on his tail. “This is not a good sign. It means that whatever is going wrong is starting to affect some major factors on the ship.” 

Luke typed some code into the computer, while he and Alec watched expectantly, desperate for an explanation. The frown of concern on Luke’s face grew as he read the text on the screen. 

“Processors are shutting down with every system failure. The buildup of that can’t be good. Computer, display these failures over time.” 

The robotic voice spoke back. “Processing timeline.” 

After a few moments, a holographic timeline rose from the screen. It projected the trajectory of the journey, similar to what Magnus had seen in the constellation room. An image of the Avalon appeared with several red points lit up along the trajectory, each with a date floating next to the point. 

Magnus wasn’t sure what he was looking for but the way Luke’s eyes widened made a ripple of concern flow through him. Luke pointed at one of the red points, realization dawning over him. 

“Cascade failure. This was the tipping point. There was a power surge two years ago, caused 17 failures in one day, including the failure of pod 1498.” 

Magnus recognized the number immediately. In his peripheral, he could see Alec’s head turn towards him. 

“That was me. That’s my pod. What happened that day?”

Luke shook his head. “I’m not sure, but it was something big. A major system is failing, and we need to figure out where. We need to fix this immediately.” 

“How bad can this get?” The fear was clear in Alec’s voice when he spoke. 

Luke commanded to the computer. “Show me the risk analysis of these failures.” 

The hologram expanded, with more red dots appearing on the trajectory. Tons of them. 

The computer spoke back. “A mission-critical failure is imminent. Failure of systems will be as follows: Life Support, Fusion Reactor, Hibernation Bay, Ion Drive, Main Engineering.” 

The voice trailed on, the realization of their fate becoming darker and more terrifying. Magnus looked over at Alec, whose eyes were wide and nearly bloodshot. His skin was paler than he’d ever seen it. 

“So, we’re stranded…on a sinking ship.” Alec’s voice stumbled over the words, his tone scraggly and crippled with fear. 

Luke straightened his shoulder, ready to take charge. “With diagnostics out, we need to find the cause of this on our own. Follow me.” 

He bolted out of the room as Magnus and Alec followed, storming down staircases and foreign hallways to another set of massive steel doors. Luke waved his wristband at the console and the doors flew open, revealing numerous steel machines and reactors. 

The sight of the mechanics clicked with Magnus immediately, and he could easily start making modest sense of what was in front of him.

“Engineering room?” 

“You got it. Whatever is wrong, we’ll figure it out here.” 

Just as the last word spilled out of Luke’s mouth, his body sunk to the ground in a swift movement, his legs crumbling beneath him. Magnus and Alec rushed to his side, holding his body up against them.

“Luke! Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Magnus looked down at Luke’s face, clearly stricken in pain. “We need to get him to an Autodoc and see what’s wrong with him.” 

Alec nodded in agreement as they pulled Luke’s body up, supporting his weight as they carried him to the infirmary. They placed his body inside the glass tube, allowing the system to scan his form for any problems. While lying down, Luke gained some more consciousness and was able to sit up once the scan completed. 

Luke wrung his hands together lightly, clearly nervous about the news that was forthcoming. His voice was low and hollow as he spoke up.

“Lay it on me doc, what’s going on?” 

The computer spoke back in a voice far too perked up for the news it was delivering. 

“612 disorders found. The most critical include pansystemic necrosis and progressive organ failure. Cause: unknown.” 

“My damn hibernation pod going haywire was the cause,” Luke grumbled to himself. 

Magnus looked over at Alec, who looked as concerned as ever. Alec turned to the computer. “What treatments are available?” 

The voice chirped back. “Various treatments are available. None will meaningfully extend the patient’s life.” 

Magnus dropped his head. Hearing your fate be announced like this was both harrowing and weirdly calming. Every piece of information was delivered succinctly. 

Luke spoke again, just barely a whisper. “How long do I have?” 

“Your end-of-life transition is underway currently. These sedatives will help alleviate your suffering.” A small compartment beneath the command screen opened, dispensing two small blue pills. Luke picked them up to observe them, before throwing them across the room. They fell to the ground with a small clatter. 

Luke got up, his body heavy from the reality of his fate. 

He spoke as he walked out of the infirmary, a small hand waved at Magnus and Alec. “I need a minute.” 

For what seemed like the millionth time today, Magnus was left alone with Alec. The silence was deafening, the weight of Luke’s prognosis still lingering in the air around them. Magnus kept his eyes on his feet at first, uncharacteristically nervous to meet Alec’s gaze. 

“Thank you…again. For saving me.” 

Alec’s voice lilted across the quiet, causing Magnus to jerk his head up and meet his hazel gaze. The colors in his eyes mixed splendidly, and they carried so much emotion. Everything from confusion and anguish to care and affection. 

It was everything he fell in love with before. 

“Always, Alexander.” 

They were the truest words he could say. He would do anything for the man in front of him, no matter how much pain he had regrettably caused him before. If Alec ever called to him, Magnus would be there without a thought. 

Just when Magnus was ready to take a step closer, everything around them jolted roughly and the ship shook like it never had before. 

“Attention: we are experiencing difficulties in flight. For your safety, please return to your cabins.” 

The message was delivered all around them and kept repeating. With a telling look at Alec, they both knew they had to find Luke immediately. 

They bolted out of the infirmary and ran down the halls, yelling Luke’s name with desperation. They checked all over the east wing and just as they were about to head to the bridge, they crossed one of the many lounge areas of the ship. 

Sitting in front of the massive window revealing the endless universe, was Luke. They surged toward him, sitting at his side. His body was clearly failing, and his face looked weaker than ever. Every breath he took was a struggle. 

“I should’ve taken those damn pills.” 

Magnus moved to stand, ready to sprint back to the infirmary. “I’ll go get them for you.” 

Luke stopped him, weakness threaded through his tone. “No. Just…stay here. Stay here with me for a few minutes.” 

The somber reality settled over them. Luke was dying with every passing second, the impact on his body unable to withstand much longer. Magnus helped him adjust his sitting position, so he was more reclined, more comfortable. It was the very least he could do. 

With the little energy he had left, Luke lifted his arm to remove his wristband, the one that allowed him access to all restricted areas. He slipped it off and handed it to Magnus. 

“Here, take my ID. Get into the engineering room and fix the ship, find out what’s wrong with her. I know you can do it.” 

Magnus reached forward to take the wristband, and he felt a wave of sadness as Luke grasped his hand. He let Luke relish in his last moments with fellow humans, people that enjoyed his company. Magnus watched as Luke reached his other hand toward Alec, clutching his palm gently. His gaze drifted back and forth between him and Alec, a beautiful softness in his eyes that they both had never seen. 

“You two…please take care of each other. This might not be the situation you planned, but it’s where you are. Trust each other.” 

As those words traveled between them, Magnus looked over at Alec, who was staring right back at him. There was a promise made through their gazes. 

A promise to work together, to solve the problems on this ship and make it out alive. They both could put past their pain to trust the other, at least for now. 

Alec smiled gently at Magnus before turning back to Luke, whose eyes were nearly closed. He watched as Alec squeezed Luke’s hand a final time before whispering back a goodbye of sorts. 

“You’ve got it, Captain.” 

They both got up slowly, leaving Luke in his final peace. As they turned the corner into the next corridor, the feeling of being on their own was as present as ever. Before they could permeate in it for too long, red lights flashed brightly in the hallways. 

Alec turned towards him, an expectant look in his eyes. “What do we do now?” 

Magnus held his gaze firmly, mustering up all the confidence and motivation he could. 

“We need to head to the Engineering room. And I’m going to need your help.”

**************

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COME YELL AT ME AND SHARE THE LOVE ON TUMBLR [@immortalhusbandz](http://immortalhusbandz.tumblr.com)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 -- Against all odds, Magnus and Alec fight to save the Avalon from certain destruction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!! Thank you so much for your extraordinary patience with this chapter. There is a lot going on and I wanted to make sure I explained everything well. I really appreciate all the support I've gotten so consistently from this. This fandom is absolute amazing and I'm so happy I can give something back. 
> 
> Also, the news about Shadowhunters being cancelled still makes my heart hurt. It makes me so mad that Freeform let this show down so badly. But I implore you all to keep fighting! TV stations make decisions to revive things all the time so it's definitely not over!! My Tumblr has been full of actions people can take to keep the pressure on. WE CAN DO IT!!! DO IT FOR MALEC (Also regardless of how it all ends, if I don't get to see Malec get married, imma fight someone). 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AS ALWAYS!! ENJOY CHAPTER 11, welcome to the rollercoaster WEEEEE! 
> 
> xoxo Wasabi

**************

**************

The hallways were lit with flashing red lights as they ran with pressing need. Both Magnus and Alec were determined to get to the engineering room immediately, pushing down the fear that was bubbling inside of them.

At least inside of Magnus. He knew that Alec was scared but he would be as strong and level-headed as he could. 

Suddenly, the ground beneath them disappeared and their running bodies were floating. Another gravity loss. 

Without hesitation, Alec reached out for Magnus’s hand, trying desperately to find some ground. They tried their best to grapple with the atmosphere and move forward, before gravity returned in an instant, dropping them to the ground, hard on their stomachs. 

Magnus scrambled to get up, reaching an arm out to Alec to bring him to his feet. 

“Are you okay, Alexander?” 

Alec took the hand quickly and rose to his full height, mere inches between him and Magnus. He tried hardest to remember they were in a time crunch, ignoring the small daze of being so near Alec’s body again. 

But that small half-smile on Alec’s lips, that single second of purity in the midst of chaos, was something Magnus would hold on to. 

“Yeah. Let’s go.” 

They picked up their pace again, throttling down the corridors toward their location. They reached the massive steel doors, where Magnus scanned Luke’s wristband at the console, causing them to slide open quickly. 

Magnus moved forward with resolve, a steady determination that was ready to solve problems, despite not having a clue what they could possibly be. Alec was close on his tail, eyes skirting around at the massive room filled with steel machinery, sparking equipment, and whirring, mechanical sounds. 

“What are we even looking for?” 

They moved past one piece of equipment to the next, scanning for any irregularities. Magnus aimed to keep his voice solid as he spoke, hiding the quivering fear inside of him. 

“Something that is broken…something big.” 

Magnus looked more closely at a large reactor, while also taking notice of a doorway a few yards away from them. The mechanics in his mind clicked as he watched the machine work, following the lines of electricity and steel. 

He could do this, he could figure out what was wrong. Magnus gathered every bit of himself to focus. 

“Fuck. Magnus.”

The panic in Alec’s voice was clear and present, and Magnus came rushing over to where he was looking into another smaller room. Once he was looking through the glass, his eyes went agape at the sight before him. 

A giant glass tube sat behind another wall of glass, with a massive fuse reactor inside it was going haywire. It was sparking and exploding in a way that was unsettling. Bright, red fire was glowing inside of it, looking like it was desperate to burst out. 

Magnus hurried into the smaller room to investigate and soon, he and Alec were faced with the developing realization in front of them. In addition to the fiery reactor that was combusting inside another room, the main console of the machine’s computer had burning holes in it. They both saw the large pieces of black matter, clearly out of place and stuck in the steel. 

“That’s pieces of a meteor, isn’t it? That’s got to be it, Magnus.” 

“You’re right, it burst holes into this part of the ship. Seems like miraculous evidence that this ship wasn’t meteor proof in quite possibly the worst place it could be.” 

“We’re so fucked.” 

Magnus turned to Alec, eyes ablaze with fortitude. “No, Alexander. We’re going to figure this out.” 

He moved towards the computer and scanned Luke’s ID, allowing him through the digital blockades and able to view classified information about the ship’s condition. He tapped through a few portals quickly, his fingers rapping at the computer keys with a caution that still held onto some confidence. 

Diagnostics about the meteor crash two years ago appeared, showing explicit blueprints of the damage the harsh rock caused, as well as the long-generated impact it were having now.

Alec was leaning close to him, the breath from his lungs skirting across Magnus’s neck. 

Magnus processed all the information he could, trying to make sense what the meteor collision had done. Another screen popped up, indicating the key issue that was failing and how it factored into all the problems on the ship. 

The words flashed across the screen in large, red letter: **Main Vent Failure.**

“This reactor is overheating. Overheating way too much. It’s sending everything on this ship into a haywire because it isn’t being vented.” He pointed his fingers to a diagram of the ship on the screen. “This door seems like it should be helping it ventilate it’s not...it’s blocked or broken, or something.”

“So…if we fix that, it can cool down?” 

Magnus inhaled a short, heavy breath. “Hopefully. Hopefully, it’s as simple as that.” 

He began to type furiously again, piecing together their next steps. He pulls at a lever on the command center, but it doesn’t seem to do anything.

But it should. Magnus became more distraught as he realized it wasn’t working. The door wouldn’t budge and couldn’t open up the reactor to release the hot air combusting inside of it. 

“It’s not working.” Alec seemed completely in tune with what was happening and everything Magnus was doing. Magnus knew he was trying to stay calm and not add panic to an already stressful situation. Against all odds, it was helping Magnus stay level-headed. 

“No, it’s not. But it looks like there’s a lever on the outside of the door. But we’re going to need to reboot everything before we do. That’ll restore this control center before we open it up.”

“How the hell are you going to get to the other lever, Magnus?”

Magnus took another deep breath as he turned his body towards Alec, willing himself to collect every bit of poise he could. Magnus looked deeply into Alec’s hazel eyes, letting himself relish in their beauty as he let the next steps wash over them both. 

Realization came into Alec’s gaze, swiftly as his pupils blew out in disbelief. 

“Wha…Magnus. No. How….”

“I’ll get one of the suits from Spacewalk and I’ll scale the ship. I should be okay finding it with the blueprints.” 

Alec shook his head gently, thinking ahead to what that would lead to. 

“But, when the door opens…all that heat. How do you know you’ll be okay?” 

“I don’t, Alexander. I don’t know that at all.” 

Alec’s eyes widened, finally understanding the heavy meaning behind Magnus’s words. 

The consequence they would create. 

Hope of escape from the force of the heat was small. But Magnus knew they had no other option. 

“No. Absolutely not. Ma-Magnus, you can’t! I can’t let y—”

He placed a gentle hand above Alec’s heart, stopping his words instantly from the touch. The rapid pace of his heartbeat thudded against Magnus’s fingertips. 

Magnus had to stop him, he had to make him understand. This was so much bigger than the two of them. 

“This is the only way, Alexander. We don’t have a lot of time. I need to go do this.” Regretfully, he moved his hand and went back to the computer, grabbing a set of headpieces that him and Alec could communicate with. 

“Listen to me, Alec. Once I get out there, on the other side of the door, I’ll need to open it. But before that, you need to reboot the computer system and then pull the lever to release the heat trapped, on my instruction.” 

Magnus explained carefully what Alec needed to do, the sequence of actions he needed to take as they moved forward. He spoke calmly, hoping to soothe the concern he witnessed in Alec’s eyes. 

He called out hopefully to the universe, to any otherworldly spirity that would listen, that he would make it back. 

Alec nodded in understanding, eyes watching carefully as Magnus explained. With a final nod, Alec looked over at Magnus. He could almost see the thoughts flitting across his eyes, desperately fighting their way to come together and say something. 

But Magnus knew. 

He knew that anything Alec would say, any desperate confession in that moment, would make him abandon a very necessary thing he had to do. So, Magnus moved quickly, grasping Alec’s hand gently and giving it a gentle squeeze, saying everything he could hope to say with a single touch. 

Magnus let himself memorize the hazel hues staring back at him one final time before turning towards the door, bound for the spacewalk room. His footsteps carried his body, getting heavier with each step as they carried the weight of his fate.

“Magnus.” 

The voice was strong and steady. Magnus was helpless to do anything but turn towards Alec. 

His eyes glowed with hope and longing, in a way he hadn’t seen since the night of their first date. There was no universe filled with stars that could compare to that gaze. 

“Please…make it back to me. I don’t think I can live without you.” 

He didn’t know what he could say. He wished he had the words, the one that would seal a promise to Alexander. But he knew it wasn’t time.

So, he poured every trace of affection in his stare as he looked back at Alec. Magnus hoped that he knew, despite his terrible mistakes, Alec was the best thing to ever happen to him. 

His feet walked out the door, leaving Alec in a painful solitude.

**************

Alarms rang. Messages of warning were announced. Incessant beeping ceased to fade.

All of these harsh sounds surrounded Magnus as he stalked towards the spacewalk room, moving his legs quickly. 

Every noise whirled into a rhythm in Magnus’s mind as he moved, a white noise that drowned out and allowed him to follow the strength of his heartbeat. It thudded through every nerve and every muscle, making him painfully aware of every inch of his body. 

Every inch of his mind. 

His mind that was making such a huge decision. Something he knew he couldn’t back down from. They had to do this, they had to take every risk to save this ship. His heart beat harder as his mind grappled with something to ground him. 

Immediately, a single sentence flooded through, repeating over and over again. 

_…I don’t think I can live without you._

It blossomed through his mind and repeated, nearly matching the coordination of his hurried steps. Magnus knew when he made the snap decision to do this, he would do his best to wall up thinking about the impact on Alec. Magnus was ready to do this and would be trying harder than he imagined to make sure Alec lives. 

It wasn’t a suicide mission…but it was close. Pretty fucking close. 

Magnus’s fingers began to twitch as he walked through the threshold, walking directly towards the row of spacesuits. His movements were quick and certain, getting into the suit as fast as he could. All the closures locked into place as his body became encased, oxygen flowing through to him. 

With a push of that big red button, the doors swished open and revealed the endless sea of stars. The galaxy he’d found some kind of home in the past two years. The version of home he found here redefined the word for him forever. The feeling he knew now was fuller and more comfortable than he’d ever known. 

He would do this, this impossible task, for a taste of that peace again. 

Instead of jumping off the platform of the ship, Magnus moved to the edge of the door and began grasping the outside of the ship. He checked the blueprints of the ship’s expanse quickly, processing them before he began to scale the ship. His arms and legs moved carefully, but with guided purpose, moving towards the area outside the engineering room. 

As his body moved closer to its destination, he heard louder noises coming from the end of his audio connection with Alec. 

**“Temperature level critical.”**

The announcement from Alec’s end of the line spoke into Magnus’s ears, pushing for his movements to be faster, as fast as they could possibly go. As he continued to traverse the ship, a scream pierced through his ears, belonging to a voice he knew too well. It was brimming with agony, shaking him deeply.

“Alexander! What’s wrong?” 

After a few rough breaths that traversed across the line, Alec spoke. His tone was strained. “I’m okay. Everything in the room is getting so hot. The room is struggling to contain the reactor at this heat.” 

Another scream poured through Magnus’s ears, the sound mixed with shock and a more severe pain. 

“Holy fuck!” 

“Alec—”

“I’m okay, but…fuck. That hurt. I got cut with a flying piece of glass. Please hurry, Magnus.” 

The desperate plea rang through Magnus’s body, calling out to every thread of determination in him. He pushed himself more and more, trying to not think too much above how he was grappling the outside of a malfunctioning spaceship throttling through the stars. 

Soon enough, he arrived at the door outside the reactor. He saw a large piece of metal lodged into part of the opening. He grappled with it fiercely, using all his might to remove the foreign object blocking the door’s mechanics. His muscles worked relentlessly until the metal slid out. 

“Alexander, I’m here. I’m going to need you to go through the reboot first before I can open it. Let me know when you do that.”

He could hear Alec’s heavy breaths, a small shake to them. Beyond that sound, he could hear the repeated warning about the temperature level in the background.

“Done. We should be good. What’s next, Magnus?”

Small bits of relief began to spark but Magnus didn’t let himself get too swept up yet. “Alright, I’m going to open it.” 

Magnus swiped the ID at the console, tapping a few buttons to move forward with their plan. Despite hitting the proper buttons, the doors stayed shut, allowing frustration to begin to peak. 

“It won’t open. It seems like it might need an override.” Magnus recalled a necessary code that Luke used as he accessed different parts of the ship. 

_1-6-3-9_

He punched the numbers in quickly and was relieved to see a green screen flash at him. Just in time, as he listened to the rate of breathing increase rapidly on Alec’s end of the line. 

The sonorous sounds of alarms were constant. Inescapable. 

A constant reminder of the danger looming behind their shoulders, ready to overcome them. Still, Magnus refused to stop fighting. 

He hit the button on the screen to keep the door open, so he could tell Alec to open the vent. But as the doors slid open, they quickly moved to close again. Magnus hit it again, but it wouldn’t let the doors stay open. He tapped the button repeatedly but to no avail. The doors kept closing and refused to stay open. 

Magnus held his arm against the door, and it jammed in place for a second, the vent path open again. But the minute he released his hold, the doors proceeded to close. 

“Fuck.” 

“Magnus. What is it? What’s going on?” 

Magnus took a deep breath, praying it would bring him some composure. “The door won’t stay open, Alexander. I…I have to stay here…and hold it open.” 

“What, Magnus! No. You have to get out of there. If I open vent this thing, it’ll kill you. You can’t…I can’t…”

In the background of his connection with Alec, he could hear another announcement through the alarms: **Containment Unstable.**

“Alec, you have to do it. I’m holding it open, vent the reactor.” 

“Magnus, please.” His voice was cracked, and Magnus could hear the tears welling up inside of him. They were filling to the brim, just like in Magnus’s own eyes. Alec pleaded relentlessly. “Come back in. We can figure something else out.” 

“There is nothing else, Alexander. There are 5000 people aboard this ship we need to save. This is something we have to do. We have to save this ship.” 

Magnus heard a heavy sob across the line. No matter how much it hurt, Magnus knew Alec would accept what he needed to do. He was always a man of integrity, one of his most beautiful qualities. 

**“Maximum cabin pressure reached.”** The alarms increased in their resonance. 

They couldn’t wait any longer. 

Magnus lodged his arm and leg against the door, keeping it open. He grasped tightly to anything with a grip he could hold onto. 

“Do it, Alec. Do it now!” 

Magnus heard a pained scream across the line just as the vent doors above him began to open. He clenched tightly to the ship as he was blasted with a heavy wave of heat. 

The force combined with the scorching temperature plowed through Magnus. The suit helped protect him somewhat but the velocity he was being hit at was terrifying. Everything inside of him was shaking as he willed his mind to focus on what he holding on. 

He didn’t know how long this would last. How long he would feel all this power forced against his body, battling with every ounce of strength. The heat radiated around him as it permeated across his suit. He screamed out loud from the effort of holding on so tightly. 

He thought of Alec desperately. About preserving his life, his soul, his beautiful mind. 

“The temperature is dropping!” As if his mind called for it, Alec spoke to him and he held on desperately to the sound. But the moment he let himself get distracted, the last bit of heat being released unlatched his grip and his body was pushed off the ship, spinning into space and further and further away from the ship. 

He felt increasingly disoriented and couldn’t feel the long anchor that tethered him to the ship. In the corner of his eye, he could see the torn tether floating around his suit, confirming his suspicion. 

Inside Magnus’s helmet, he heard a small voice speak. **“Suit pressure dropping. Return to ship immediately.”**

Hmm, that’s why he was feeling so much dizzier. He was losing oxygen, while also losing his connection with the ship. The harsh reality crashed into him instantly. His body tried to fight the feeling, but lack of oxygen made everything difficult. 

Every movement and thought of resistance was dampered. Slowly, he could feel himself succumbing.

Suddenly, Alec called out to him. “Magnus! It worked! I can’t believe it. You can come back in now.” 

The happiness in his voice was so palpable, it let Magnus’s fading mind feel a moment of delight.

“Oh, Alexander. I wish I could.” 

“Why? What’s going on?” 

His voice was light and fighting with whatever traces of oxygen he had left. “I was blown out of the tube, my dear, and it broke my tether to the ship. I can’t make it back.” 

Magnus could hear the throttling footsteps on the other end of their connection. They pounded into the metal floor of the ship, frantic and loud. 

“I’m coming out there to get you. Just keep talking to me.” 

“My oxygen levels, they’re failing. Please don’t worry about me, Alexander.” 

“Magnus, I’m coming right now. You can’t stop me.” 

Through the glass front of his helmet, he watched the stars twinkle gently, yet still with so much power. It never ceased to captivate him. What a beautiful slice of the universe to be a part of…to fall in love in. 

He still had so much to tell Alec, and the possibility of doing so was withering way as air escaped his lungs. 

Magnus spoke again, his voice soft and with immense care in every word. Alec would always deserve that. 

“Alexander, I’m so sorry. For everything I did to you. For going so beyond what any human should do. I’ll never regret anything more than knowing I hurt you that way.” 

“Stop it, Magnus. I’m coming.” 

“I can’t believe how selfish I was. I wish I could have met you in 90 years. On Homestead II. I would have built you a beautiful home on a grassy hill. I would have read your new book and fallen for you the right way. Or maybe I could have met you in New York, in a coffee shop or something. I could take you to my favorite Ethiopian place in Brooklyn and kiss you along the East River at night. You deserve the universe, Alexander. I wish I could have had the honor to be the one who gave it all to you.” 

**“Warning: oxygen level critical.”**

Magnus’s head felt heavy and the gleaming bodies of stars in his eyes began to blur. Alec kept speaking but the words melded together in a haze he could barely comprehend. Oxygen trickled out of his mind, his lungs and he could feel himself slowly drifting away.

**************

Any of the pain Alec was feeling before, from the burning buttons in the reactor room or the deep cut of glass in his bicep, it was all gone.

Alec couldn’t feel any of it. He didn’t care. 

His mind and his body were focused on one thing: Magnus. 

His body rushed quickly as he ran towards the spacewalk room, ready to save him. He kept calling out words of reassurance through his earpiece as he ran, making sure that Magnus didn’t succumb to the failing oxygen in his suit. 

And then Magnus spoke. 

He spoke to Alec without desperation. His beautiful voice was calm and certain, lilting across their connection. Magnus apologized profusely, talking about everything he did wrong and how much he regretted his decisions. 

But the things that rang out the most: How sorry he was for hurting him and how he wished they could have met differently. 

In periods of longing, both before and after he learned of Magnus’s actions, Alec wished that too. But, that wasn’t how he met Magnus. He met him here, on this ship, in a terrible situation beyond Alec’s control. 

And despite their circumstance of meeting, Alec knew he was in love with him. 

The veracity of that feeling reverberating through his body is what propelled him to move faster, to get to Magnus. 

He quickly got into his suit and attached his tether as he pressed the red button to open the ship’s doors. 

He spoke to the system inside his suit. “Locate Magnus Bane.” 

The blueprint map on the small screen of his helmet calculated, tracking Magnus’s position. Alec’s body bounced frantically as he waited, desperate to find him. 

“Magnus Bane located.” 

The screen in front of him locked in Magnus’s floating form, spinning further from the ship. Alec launched his feet with a giant push off the ship, using whatever clout he could to get himself closer to Magnus. 

The stars were bright and powerful, as ever, but his vision was fixed on only one thing floating in front of him. Magnus’s body was mostly still and wasn’t moving on its own. Alec became more worried that his oxygen levels were too low. He pushed himself further and further, moving to Magnus’s body. 

Just as he was within an arm’s reach, a temporary relief about to wash over him, Alec felt his suit getting tugged back towards the ship. Magnus drifted further away, and Alec screamed out loud in frustration, realizing that the tether had reached its full length. 

Alec tried to push himself back towards Magnus, reaching as far as his arm span could allow. Just when he was realizing that Magnus was just out of reach, Alec saw the broken piece of Magnus’s tether drifting from his suit. 

It was just barely in his reach and Alec lunged toward it with all he had inside of him. And by some miracle, he grabbed it. He clutched the tether tightly as he pulled Magnus’s suit towards him, until he was right in front of his face. 

Alec pushed the button on his own suit to bring the tether back into the ship, before turning his attention fully to Magnus. 

The glass inside his helmet had a slight fog that was melting away and through that barrier, he could see Magnus’s eyes closed. His skin was paler than Alec had ever seen it and he forced himself to not think the worst. He could still help him. 

Alec’s voice cracked as he spoke, but he implored desperately to anyone who would listen. 

“Magnus…please. Please stay awake. We can fix this.” 

They made it back into the ship and the doors shut swiftly behind them. After getting out of his own suit, he fought feverishly to get Magnus’s body out of his own. 

Magnus’s skin felt slightly cold but still had some lingering heat. That was all the motivation Alec needed. He knew it wasn’t too late. Magnus’s body was limp as Alec picked him with ease, running them both to the infirmary. He locked his arms under Magnus’s back and legs, resting his head gently on Alec’s shoulder.

The lights of the silver room lit up as they entered the infirmary and Alec immediately laid Magnus’s body in the Autodoc, using all the gentleness he could. Alec turned on the pod and Magnus became encased in glass. 

His fingers were restless as they jabbed at buttons on the console, looking through the operations for some way to bring Magnus back. To give him the oxygen he needed. 

Alec’s eyes scanned the list of medical procedures, but nothing was suitable. With each millisecond, his hope began to diminish. But at the bottom of the list, he saw it. 

Body Resuscitation. 

Without wasting another moment, Alec pressed the button to start the machine. He scanned Luke’s ID and entered his override code when the system tried to stop him. 

Suddenly, the process began and the pod with Magnus’s body filled with a steam as it worked on bringing Magnus back. All Alec could do was stand there and wait. 

He felt helpless. It was excruciating.

Alec tried to focus on his breathing as his fingers rubbed together anxiously. As the tears in his eyes obscured his vision, his mind flooded with memories and thoughts of Magnus. His beautiful smile, his warm laugh, the gentleness of his touch. The thought of losing all that weighed heavy on Alec’s heart, making him feel more fatigued than ever. 

_Please work,_ he thought. This needed to work. 

A few minutes passed, minutes that felt like centuries, when suddenly the steam started to dissipate, and he could see Magnus more clearly. There was more color to his face, but his eyes were still closed, his chest remained still. 

The glass of the pod opened up and in an instant, Magnus’s eyes opened as he took a rough inhale. Magnus struggled with his first few breaths before his body adjusted, eyelids blinking as he returned to consciousness. 

He did it. They did it. 

Alec was washed over with relief, submerging can his skin and bones. Seeing the rise and fall of Magnus’s chest was the most triumphant sight he’d seen in so long. 

He moved right in front of the Autodoc as he bent his body over Magnus, gently cradling Magnus’s face in his large hands. Alec watched as Magnus’s eyes focused on him, widening slightly in recognition as his lips curled slowly upwards in a soft smile. 

“Alexander.” 

With the one call of his name, Alec felt complete. Relief, happiness, clarity. They all came storming into him in a flurry. 

Alec chuckled softly at the lightness now in his body, and he didn’t waste a second to lean forward and kiss Magnus’s lips. He pecked their silkiness, one kiss after another. The kind of kisses that you gave when you could barely believe that someone was in front of you again. Alec pressed his kisses on every inch of Magnus’s face before returning to his lips, letting their mouths meld with gentle heat. The softness of this touch, of Magnus placing a gentle hand on his chest as they pushed closer to each other, pulsed all through him.

Everything inside of him felt alive. 

Alec pulled back for a moment, making sure that he wasn’t stealing all the oxygen Magnus desperately needed in that moment. Magnus’s beautiful eyes glowed with happiness, with traces of disbelief that he got to have a moment like this again. 

He was speechless, the weight of this moment being something Alec couldn’t word properly. For once, the words didn’t come to him immediately. So he made sure he memorized every bit of this feeling. 

Magnus reached his hand up slowly, wiping the tears of Alec’s cheeks that he hadn’t even realized had escaped. Alec leaned into the touch, embracing the warmth returning to Magnus’s body. 

“You saved me.” 

Alec smiled down at him, moving closer to feel the energy of Magnus’s presence. In his eyes, Alec saw endless peaks of vulnerability, grace, and passion. Everything that made Magnus the incredible man he was. 

Alec knew there was more to discuss between them, that a near-death situation could alter how one feels in a certain moment. There were more misunderstandings and truths to understand and that they needed to talk about. 

But one thing was certain in Alec's mind. He saved Magnus because he wanted to. Because he needed to. It was the only thing in the world that made sense in that moment. 

It was all worth it.

**************

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> COME JOIN THE [#SAVESHADOWUNTERS](https://twitter.com/search?q=%23SaveShadowhunters&src=tyah) PARTY ON TUMBLR AND TWITTER! And feel free to follow me on tumblr for non stop Malec goodness [@immortalhusbandz](http://immortalhusbandz.tumblr.com)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter 12: After falling apart, things fall into place.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO!! 
> 
> We have reached the end of this glorious journey. Thank you so much for all your support and love through this. It was hard when I felt like I lost inspiration for a while but I was really committed to delivering this whole story to you and I'm glad I could do so. I really love the ending that I created and I hope you do too. Thank you so so so so so so much!! 
> 
> Have a beautiful Sunday xo
> 
> P.S. a little discussion in the end notes about the ending and what happened in the movie.

**************

**************

“Hold still, Simon.”

“Apologies, Alec. Thank you for doing this.”

Alec leaned back against the inside of the wooden bar, part of Simon’s mechanical arm in his hands. He pushed the piece of metal firmly into the elbow, trying to make sure all the locking mechanisms fell into place.

The forearm fit in snugly and Alec could hear a whirring noise, confirming that it was put in perfectly. Simon was able to move his arm almost immediately. 

In the midst of all the haywire onboard, many of the droids had broken down, including parts of Simon. Magnus was insistent that he would fix all of them over time, but that Simon needed to be fixed first. 

“Perfect fit.” 

Alec smiled gently at Simon before lifting his body over the bar, hopping to the other side. As his feet planted onto the soft carpet, he looked up to see Magnus standing there. His hair was slightly tousled in front of his eyes. There were small traces of exhaustion across his features, accumulated in the aftermath of their ordeal. 

But he was still so gorgeous, in spite of it all. 

“Magnus.” 

“Alexander.”

They spoke at the same time, words and voices stacked on top of each other. The moment flustered Alec a bit and he could feel a soft heat on his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. He didn’t want it to be like this.

Alec wasn’t even sure what he meant to say, so he was willing to let Magnus start the conversation.

“Sorry, you go first.” 

He watched as Magnus inhaled deeply through his nose, his eyes steady and focused as they gazed back at him. Green and gold hues were slightly dark in his eyes, consumed by a seriousness. Alec wished he could know what Magnus was thinking.

“Will you come with me? There’s something I’d like to show you.” 

Magnus motioned for Alec to follow him, waving his hand in a caress. Alec followed closely as Magnus made precise, certain steps. He led them to the infirmary, stopping in front of the Autodoc. 

The very machine that revived Magnus a couple days ago, as Alec looked inside with a desperate fear that he would lose him forever. 

Be alone forever. 

“What is it, Magnus?” 

Magnus placed a hand on the glass of the Autodoc, staring at its placement gently before turning his body towards Alec. The closeness, the heat radiating between them was like a jolt of electricity. 

“I was fixing a few things in here and it led me to investigate this machine a bit. One of the processes it has is called ‘Stabilize & Suspend.’ It’s a pause of metabolic function. That’s exactly what a hibernation pod is designed for. So, this can work as a sort of replacement. With Gus’s ID, it should work.” 

Alec listened closely as he watched the steadiness in Magnus’s expression, the calm in which he explained his discovery. There was a noticeable detachment to how he delivered this news. 

“But…there’s only one Autodoc.” 

Magnus swallowed carefully at those words, while Alec saw his Adam’s apple bob at the movement. 

“Yes, Alexander. And you are going to get inside of it and turn it on. You’ll go back into hibernation and wake up on Homestead II. You’ll finish your story and the incredible journey you started on. The journey I selfishly took from you.” 

There was a tiny crack in Magnus’s voice as he spoke, but he worked hard to fight it. He had a resolve like Alec had never seen, one that he tried to make impermeable. 

But beneath it, Alec saw the true Magnus. The man of love and beauty and passion. The one who had been hurt and carried the heavy weight of every mistake he made. 

“But you’d be alone, Magnus.” 

“I’ve been alone before, my dear. I can handle it. I’ll be okay, especially if I know that you’re living the dream you always wanted.” 

“But…bu-”

The words bubbling at Alec’s lips were stilled when Magnus grabbed his hands suddenly. The warmth encased his skin and Alec felt tingles all through his body at the gentle strokes of Magnus’s fingers. 

Alec had no choice but to look up and take in the overflowing emotion in Magnus’s eyes.

“There’s no ‘but’ to this, Alec. You need to do this. You can get back everything you were supposed to have. This opportunity belongs to you. This terrible mistake will be as if it never happened.” 

The tears filling Magnus’s eyes made them sparkle, no matter how painful this moment was for both of them. 

“You were never a mistake, Magnus. You could never be.” 

The edges of Magnus’s lips turned up at that, as if he was given a gift he never expected. 

“And I’ll keep those words with me forever. I’ll always feel so lucky that I got to know you, Alexander.” He brought Alec’s hands to his lips, kissing the slightly rough skin with a tenderness that made it hard for Alec to breathe. 

Alec’s words got stuck in his throat, not even knowing where to begin. 

Magnus seemed to take that silence as acceptance. He glanced to his side at the machine and then back towards Alec’s gaze. 

“All I need you to do is tap this button, get inside, and lie down. Then hit this button on the inside. You’ll be lulled into sleep and everything will fall into place.” 

Magnus dropped his hold of Alec’s hands and they suddenly felt so heavy, almost unbearable. Alec stumbled minutely where he stood but before he could truly steady himself, he felt warmth graze his cheek as Magnus cupped his face gently. 

“Alexander…” The utter of his name by Magnus was laced with tenderness, words of pure love and a tone that soothed his soul. Alec felt fixated on his presence as Magnus continued. 

“No matter where your life leads you in the future, I hope you remember one thing. Someone will always love you and love you deeply. No matter how much pain your past gave you, I hope you know I will carry you with me forever. You are worth all the love in this endless universe.” 

With every word, every syllable that teemed from Magnus’s mouth, Alec felt his resolve crumbling. He knew that vulnerability was shining in his eyes. There was nowhere to hide. 

And Alec didn’t want to. 

Just when Alec felt a jolt inside of him to press their lips together one more time, the hold against his cheek disappeared and he saw Magnus’s body moving away from him. Magnus paused at the doorway as they both took in a final glance.

Alec willed himself to say something, _anything_ , but with a last broken smile, Magnus turned away. Alec knew the moment was gone. This was their goodbye. 

He turned back towards the Autodoc, seeing a shallow reflection of him in the glass. Alec repeated Magnus’s instructions in his head. 

Lie down. Push the button. Fall asleep. Wake up on Homestead II. 

And then, what he always wished for would be his.

**************

Damn, Simon really knew how to make the most delectable dry martini.

Magnus took another sip of the stiff drink, letting the sharpness of gin lull him into a trance. He sat comfortably in a plush lounge seat, his legs crossed with an arm on the back of the chair. His body felt supported and comfortable, a perfect position as he faced the massive window in front of him. 

It was the same beautiful part of the ship where they’d watched Arcturus and its fiery splendor. Currently on the other side of the glass, the usual sight of stars swirled by at him in infinite amounts. 

This landscape had become such a peace to him. The silence, the illumination…it calmed him so much. It used to be an overwhelming sight that would make him feel small. But now, it was a reminder of how extraordinary the universe was. 

There was an acceptance inside of Magnus, a finality in his state of mind. He understood where he was and how he’d got here…and that he had said goodbye to Alec. 

Forever. 

It was what Alec deserved. The life he wanted before Magnus stepped in and hurt him. 

Magnus knew there would be nights of crying and pain ahead. Loneliness that would be consuming. And that would be his punishment, which he accepted without questioning. A proper reckoning for this whole situation. 

But somewhere inside of him, he knew… 

It was worth it. All worthwhile to know Alexander for a short moment in time. To love him and make him smile and give him a tiny bit of happiness. Even to give him back what he always wanted, making amends for a mistake Magnus was certain was irreparable. 

Magnus took a long sip of his drink as celestial bodies glimmered in his vision, nearly blinding him. The alcohol seemed to sharpen everything around him, a contrast to the numbness he had expected. 

And he accepted it. Before he took another sip, he tipped his glass gently in front of him. A small thank you to the universe for giving him the chance to love so fiercely. 

To have his heart unlocked once again. To feel fuller than it ever had. 

No matter the hurt, he was still thank—

“Magnus.” 

The voice he immediately recognized cut through his quiet. 

Magnus whipped his head around and saw Alec’s tall frame in the threshold of the lounge. His shoulders were set firmly, and the dim lights of the room painted shadows over his face. Magnus set his glass down and got to his feet quickly, taking a few hesitant steps closer.

“Alexander. Is everything okay? Did you need help starting up the Autodoc?” 

A few more steps forward allowed. It was almost like he couldn’t help himself to get closer to Alec. And as he looked upon Alec’s angelic face, he saw a small benevolent smile. 

He looked…happy. Magnus would be lying if he didn’t admit his confusion. 

“No. I don’t.” Alec moved ahead two steps, his fingers rubbing together slightly. 

“Okay, well. I don’t know what else could be wrong. I could take another look if you wish.” 

“I’m staying. I’m staying here. I’m not going into hibernation again, Magnus.” 

He saw Alec’s face moving closer to him as the weight of Alec’s words settled in the atmosphere around them. Magnus stopped moving closer for a moment, shaking his head slightly as he held Alec’s gaze. 

“No. No…Alec. I can’t take this from you. You have to go back, you have to do this. You need to do this.”

Magnus began to move fast towards Alec, reaching out to his arm and wrapping a firm hand around it. He was ready to lead Alec back to the infirmary and not hear any more of this insanity. 

But just as he throttled towards the door, Magnus felt large hands grasp his frame, turning his body firmly to Alec. The hands were strong and unyielding, holding his body still as one hand moved towards his face. 

The callous feeling of Alec’s fingertips awakened something inside of him. Magnus’s eyes focused on Alec in front of him, immediately caught off guard by the determination brewing in his gaze. 

“I’m staying, Magnus. And before you try to fight me on this, let me tell you why.”

Magnus felt his lips quiver as they itched to talk, to reason with Alec. But he closed his mouth and let Alec speak his words. 

“I told you once that what I wanted was an amazing story to write. That was the reason I came on this journey, why I left everything I’ve ever known. I left a life with plenty of people and things I loved, because despite it all, I was so lost. But then I met you, Magnus. You gave me the one thing no one ever did.” 

Their bodies gravitated closer to each other through a pull that both of them barely noticed. The small touches from Alec’s fingers brushed against his cheekbone.

“Freedom. You gave me the freedom to live, to love and be who I always wanted. The person that was always buried deep inside of me. Even if our meeting was the product of a mistake, it was the best mistake that ever happened to me. _You_ are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

That last sentence rang through his ears, igniting his whole body as he felt fire run through his vines. But it didn’t burn. It tingled and sparked and made him aware of every beautiful emotion inside of him. 

Magnus’s head tried to convince him to stop Alec again, to remind Alec of what he could still have. But as Magnus stared back into those burning hazel orbs, there was a fierce resolve that left him nearly helpless to fight. 

Without any more delay, Magnus’s heart propelled him forward and he pushed himself up on his feet to collide his lips with Alec. They pressed insistent kisses into each other, searching for more confirmation with each seal of lips. Heat rose rapidly as their mouths opened to each other and Magnus felt his body melt against Alec. Alec’s strong arms held him close, cradling Magnus in his hold. 

It could have been an eternity before they came up for air but slowly, they began to refocus, and their mouths slowed against each other. Shallow breaths passed in the small space between them as Alec rested his forehead against Magnus’s. 

Magnus had barely realized how tightly his hands had been clinging to Alec’s shirt, so he loosened his grip to move his hands around Alec’s back. He let his hands run over the hard muscle through thin cotton, his fingers using any leverage to bring Alec closer. 

He opened his eyes and saw Alec staring right back at him, affection abound. 

“I love you, Alexander.”

“Magnus,” Alec sucked in a short breath of relief, “I love you, too.” 

When he spoke, Magnus’s voice tumbled slightly over his words, still affected by the unexpectedness of all this. But as Alec responded back, his tone was strong and steady. It was certain.

Magnus let a deep breath travel through him. “You’re truly sure? You know I’ll let you change your mind at any time, and you can go back into hibernation. I will be completely okay if you ever want that.” 

“I won’t be changing my mind. This time, this place…this is where I want to live my life. With you.” 

The last two words imprinted on his heart, so strongly that Magnus could nearly feel it press down into his being. It was a tattoo that his heartbeat would follow. 

Magnus laid out his options for him and Alec had chosen. 

Once and for all, Magnus would never be alone again.

**************

“Do you feel silly for ever doubting me, Alexander?”

Magnus felt Alec’s strong hands squeeze underneath his thighs as Magnus adjusted his arms around Alec’s shoulders. He heard a soft chuckle come from Alec as they walked across the grand concourse, a quick wave at Simon as they continued on.

In the aftermath of Alec’s revelation to stay with Magnus, several minutes of passionate kisses led to Magnus hoisting up Alec with ease, carrying him to their suite. They made love slowly and carefully in the bed Alec had missed for so long, their lips connected for every second. 

But even when they were spent with desire, clinging to each other’s body parts, Alec couldn’t seem to get over Magnus’s show of brute strength when he picked Alec up before.

“It’s hard to ignore those muscles on your arm, Magnus. But I just wanted to make sure you knew I could lift you, too.” 

Magnus smiled widely as he clung further to Alec’s back as he carried him towards the pool. Their steps were leisurely, both fully aware that they had all the time in the world to relax. 

To embrace the new peace they now got to share. 

They crossed the doorway into the pool room and Alec gently set Magnus down, turning to press a kiss to his lips before they stripped down. The tenderness in the press of lips made Magnus feel like he was floating. 

In their time on this ship, this pool had quickly become one of Magnus’s and Alec’s favorite places. He was pretty certain it was Alec’s most favorite. 

The pool was large and deep, the water inside of it glowing in shades of blue. It led towards a massive fisheye window on the furthest end, giving an unbeatable view of the passing space outside. It let you swim in the stars. 

Magnus was actually the one who recommended the swim, an opportunity that Alec jumped at. There was something cleansing about water, something that made one feel anew. And now that him and Alec had crossed such a massive turning point together, he wanted to sway around in the water with Alec for hours. 

They removed their clothes until they were both in their swim shorts. Alec didn’t waste a second before diving in smoothly. As he rose to breathe, Magnus watched as the dark locks of wet hair stuck to his face. He’d looked over with a bright smile, full of expectation and excitement as he waited on Magnus to join him. 

Without another second of delay, Magnus jumped in after Alec and swam towards his body. They swam languidly around each other, never too far out of reach, as they both gravitated closer to the window facing outside. 

They had nothing to worry about in the near future and they basked in that ease. The relaxing state of mind was consuming, and Magnus had felt happier than he ever had. They joked and laughed at absolutely nothing, the sound bouncing off the surface of the water and across the walls of the room. Outside, the Avalon careened steadily through the endless miles of space, heading towards its destination. 

But inside the ship, Magnus knew that two lucky people had found theirs. 

Once they reached the edge of the glass, both Magnus and Alec couldn’t resist reaching out to the other and holding the other close. As their tangled limbs wrapped around each other in the water, a tranquil smile grew on Alec’s lips. Magnus couldn’t take his eyes away from it. 

Alec wrapped his legs around Magnus’s waist as the water made it easy to be hoisted up. Magnus encircled his strong arms around his body, the power of their hold settling every piece of Magnus’s being: mind, body, soul, heart. 

Ever in wonder at the majesty of space, Alec gazed at the universe just outside the glass and Magnus watched his face light up. Highlights and shadows crested over Alec’s face and Magnus was captivated in a way the universe could never compete with. 

As Alec continued to stare outside, Magnus let Alec’s previous words dance through his mind. It was such a bold statement, so full of understanding and willingness and determination. It was the type of chance that a truly epic love wanted you to take. 

And as Magnus studied the sharp edges and gentle curves of Alec’s face, he knew he was the luckiest man in the world. No matter the circumstance that brought them here, Magnus knew he could feel confident in their love forever. He had a man that would make every single day exciting, who would love him without hesitation or fear. 

Alec mentioned how Magnus had given him freedom. He was eager to spend a lifetime showing that Alec gave him that same freedom back. 

And to see that same devotion in Alec’s eyes as hazel looked back into green and gold, Magnus had never felt more in control of his world. 

Sliding his hands slightly up Alec’s back, Magnus angled his head to press his lips to Alec’s, tantalizing him with soft and hard as he poured in every bit of passion he could. Alec responded with earnest, his arms around Magnus’s neck and pulling him closer as his fingers combed through his wet locks. 

Their mouths opened to each other in praise until they were laughing and smiling into each other’s lips, unable to contain their delight as their bodies bobbed gently in the water. They didn’t move their faces far away as they continued to hold each other close, close enough for Alec to place a gentle kiss on Magnus’s forehead, almost as a thank you for bringing him into this moment with him, and into a place he never wanted to leave. 

The warmth in Alec’s lips on Magnus’s skin made Magnus smile as he turned his head to gaze at the expanse of celestial wonder before them. Alec’s eyes followed his gaze and let himself be consumed by the beauty of space. Magnus turned back to watch Alec’s profile, entranced by the way starlight and shadow poured over them. 

As Alec looked back to him, he whispered softly but with unwavering certitude, “Hell of a life.” 

Magnus may not have planned to end up here, but he felt unfathomably lucky that he was here now. And if that was the outcome of a potentially horrific mistake, he knew that any challenge in the universe could be conquered with Alec by his side. 

Without another second of waiting, Magnus smiled brightly before kissing Alec gently once more. 

Against Alec’s lips, Magnus whispered back. 

“Hell of a life.”

**************

A switch went off in the ship, setting a planned process into motion.

A mechanical voice spoke over the speaker system. “Crew wake-up process initiated.”

Inside of the bridge, the pods of all the crew members were waking up steadily. Limbs began to move, eyes fluttered open, and small groans of recognition began to grow in unison. 

As the crew began to wake further and stand to their feet, they gathered in the large room of the bridge and greeted each other. They were aware of what the effects of hibernation would be, so they were handling it well.

Once they were ready as a unit, they made their way out of the bridge and walked towards the grand concourse. 

But as they descended down the silver hallways to the large expanse in the center of the ship, the crew stopped in their tracks at the sight before them. 

In a massive room that was normally marked with sleek silver walls, flowering trees and patches of grass covered the area. A large tree with flowing branches stood tall in the center. There was a freshness in the air from the enormous amount of plants and on the furthest end of the room, they could see a wooden structure built with a small porch. Water flowed from some kind of irrigation system, leading into small patches of garden. It almost seemed like there was sunlight filtering in from somewhere above.

A couple of the crewmembers stepped forward, their eyes bulging out in disbelief. They all began to move forward to investigate, to find some clues as to what was behind this drastic change of scenery, all in the middle of the ship.  
They walked around inquisitively, looking for signs of human life that could have been responsible for this. A couple of the crew members moved towards the wooden structure, examining it closely. 

One woman in the crew moved towards the doorway but before thinking to open it, she noticed a large book sitting on a small table next to it. The book was bound with a dark leather cover, filled with pages inside. 

A quick fan through as she picked it up showed they were filled with text. She opened the front cover to the first page where there was a centered page of writing, addressed as a letter. A couple other crew members gathered around her as they read it closely.

__

_Dear Passengers,_

_If you’re reading these words, you’ve completed your journey on the Starship Avalon and have arrived at Homestead II._

_A lot has happened while you slept. A lot that you couldn’t even begin to imagine._

_Two of us ended up in a situation we never anticipated. It was a time and place that seemed so wrong at the start but turned into the most right I’ve ever felt. We used to be hung up on what we lost, and where we would rather be. But that kind of thought is tiresome._

_No matter how unexpected of a situation we were in, it grew into something I never could have dreamed of._

_What do you do when this kind of thing happens to you? This unexpected jolt of your path, leaving you in a foreign place and time?_

_You learn how to live and you do it the best way you can._

_So we lived. We may have gotten lost along the way. We discovered parts of ourselves we never knew and faced challenges more threatening than we’ve ever known. But we didn’t just survive; we thrived._

_And more importantly, we found each other. We built a life here. An absolutely beautiful, enchanting life._

_Together._

_Infinitely,  
Alec Lightwood (with inspiration from Magnus Bane)_

**************

**************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was happy with how I ended this story and how I dealt with the overall theme of this movie. I know that there are some people who find some issues with the storyline and the fact that Jim(/Magnus) awoke someone intentionally. But I think there's really something to be said about understanding mindsets in survival situations, and how people might make decisions that are so far from what they would ordinarily do. The desperation and loneliness can push you into dark, dangerous places. That's why I thought it was interesting to explore that in this, because it's a decision that I know if Magnus made, he would feel remorse and regret and pain for ever hurting someone like that. And he was very adamant about Alec taking the opportunity to leave when he got it again. In my version of this story, I don't want it to feel accidental that Magnus picked Alec. Some sort of fate or destiny led them to find each other. 
> 
> I love AU for Malec because I love imagining their epic love in an infinite number of universe and storylines. It's what they deserve. 
> 
> Love you all, thanks so much for reading. I will write something new soon.
> 
> FIND ME ON TUMBLR [@immortalhusbandz](http://immortalhusbandz.tumblr.com)


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